Hunter
by PsyckoSama
Summary: During Buffy's absence during the summer before senior year, Xander realizes that without a Vampire Slayer, they are rightfully and truly doomed. Luckily, he has a plan...
1. Chapter 1

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offence to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 1: Desperate Times…  
By PsyckoSama

**Summer 1998. Sunnydale, California. **

"This is so not working," Xander muttered to no one in particular as Willow and Oz helped him into one of the library's heavy wooden chairs.

"What isn't working?" Willow asked her best-friend.

Oz glanced over; making sure his fellow Scoob was ok.

"This, what we're doing…" he replied with a grimace, "Hunting Vampires without a tank."

Willow looked over to her friend and bit her lip. "We've been doing okay so far…"

"So far." Oz remarked casually.

Willow glanced at her boyfriend. "Yeah… we might not be as effective as, you know… with a Slayer, but we get the job done."

Xander glanced at her and shook his head. "Last Monday, Cordy dislocated her right shoulder. Two weeks ago, I cracked my head against a headstone, and tonight, I twisted my ankle. Now, Cor is still favoring her left arm, I've been getting headaches, and this leg is going to be bothering me for weeks…"

"Its not like Buffy never got wounded," Willow paused for a moment, then happily babbled on rapidly, adding, "of course Buffy has super fast healing and strength and all that other Slayer stuff. I wish she was here so I didn't have to watch all my friends get hurt. Her running off is really irresponsible and…"

"Hey, I'm trying to make a point here. No Willow babble," Xander interrupted with a huge grin and false tone of irritation.

The beautiful redhead flushed in embarrassment and bowed her head with a smile, as Oz gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"We're not getting any stronger, if anything we're getting weaker because we don't have any time to recover… and this is against fledglings. What happens if we run across an entire…?" Xander paused. "What the hell do you call a bunch of Vampires anyways? A gang?"

Willow blinked. "A pack?"

"A murder." Oz stated in what passed as amusement for him.

"Right," Xander stated, " What happens if we run across an entire _murder_ of Vampires, or what if Spike comes back to town, or what if some big bad shows up to end the world?"

"We're sunk," Oz remarked.

"Xander, this just isn't like you," Willow frowned. "You're supposed to be all witty and funny, not all glum and gloomy."

Xander grinned, "Hey, I'm not sayin' we should give up or anything, but we DO need a better plan."

Oz pulled up a chair and reversed it, sitting down with his arms crossed on the back. "So, got one?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah… but first, I need to know how much money you guys have, and if you'd be willing to make an investment…"

"You're not thinking guns are you?" Willow thought out loud, with a hint of unease.

Xander shook his head, "Thought about it, but gunfire might get the cops drug into this and I'm really not in the mood for any illegal use of firearms charges… Though, if this doesn't work then it's a solid Plan B."

"And what's plan A?" Willow asked.

"If I tell you, you have to promise me that you won't tell Giles about this idea…"

"Why not?" asked Willow with an indignant huff.

Xander glanced across the room to where the middle-aged Watcher was looking though some obscure tome on demonology.

"Lets just say that I don't think he'll like the idea…"

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WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

"What the bloody hell!" Ethan Rayne roared as the incessant pounding on his door tore the chaos mage from his beauty sleep. With a sneer, the British born sorcerer stood up and stepped into his fuzzy slippers.

He had no idea who the hell wanted him so late, and frankly, he could not care less… whom ever it was, he was going to do something unpleasant to if only to make the point that the sleep of chaos mages, much like that of wizards, was something no one with an ounce of wisdom disturbed without a damn good reason.

Storming through his cluttered apartment, he all but ripped his door open, ready to confront the prat who had the gall to wake him at three in the bloody morning!

"What the bloody hell do you…" Ethan trailed off as he saw three teens, three teens whom he recognized as being part of Ripper's little crew, standing in the door way. His feelings of trepidation only increased when he saw that one of them, the kid he'd sold that plastic gun to during his Halloween escapade the previous year, was standing there holding a rather intimidating looking Battle Axe, and if his stance was anything to go by, was very familiar with it's use.

"We need to talk," Xander growled.

Rayne gulped and defensively raised his hands stepping back, not wanting to aggravate the nice young man with the sharp pointy weaponry.

Xander stepped into the room and Willow and the taciturn young man whose name he'd never managed to catch followed him, the silent young man closing the door behind him.

"I don't know why you're here," Ethan stammered, "But I've been keeping my nose clean, so what ever it is you're here for, I am not responsible… and who is your friend? I don't recognize him"

Xander and the others shared a long glance, and the red-head gave her friend a nod.

"That's Oz, and we're here because we need you to cast a spell for us."

Rayne blinked, and slowly his sense of impending doom was replaced with a wicked amusement. Ripper would have never have sent them here, nor would he have ever asked him to do anything. The crazy kids must be here on their own, and knowing Sunnydale, the potential for chaos could be staggering…

"What kind of spell?" he asked with an malicious delight in his eye. "And more importantly, what's in it for me."

The three looked at each other and emptied their pockets onto the table. Taking a moment, Ethan looked through the scattered collection of bonds, bills, and other assorted valuables. All in all he guessed that he was looking at a couple of grand.

"Seems a bit low," Ethan thought out loud.

"If its not enough then I bet we can figure something out," Xander replied.

"Oh, I didn't say I wouldn't take it, just that it's a bit on the low side…" Ethan stated, "So what is this spell you want me to do…"

"We need a Slayer substitute."

Ethan's mouth fell agape in surprise. "That is a VERY tall order you're asking me, and while it sounds like fun," he smirked, "a man does have to eat…"

"Actually," Willow cut in, "We've been doing some of our own research that might help out."

"Really," the chaos mage asked with a highly amused and somewhat condescending smile.

Willow nodded and placed a notebook on the table. Without comment, Ethan snatched it up and began to page through it. Needless to say, he was pleasantly surprised. It seems that the young lady was quite the budding witch, and while some of her theories were unpolished, with refinement, they were all worthy of consideration. From the contents what was especially fascinating though, was the list of the previous possessions and modifications the unlucky sod had gone though.

Details of the primal empowerment ritual which had apparently granted the young man physical attributes equal to if not superior to that of the Slayer. Information on the genetic modifications which had given him superhuman stamina and breath control, but with the unfortunate risk of turning him into some kind of fish demon. What was most fascinating though was her analysis of the spell he'd cast that last Halloween and its lingering side effects.

He'd originally cast it just to stir up some chaos… turn people into their costumes, let them run wild, then have them wake up the next day after a night of madness. He had not expected nor intended for the memories of the costume to remain with the person, but according to this, the young man's soldier persona had left behind a great deal… enough for him to break into a military base and steal an anti-tank weapon to be used on a demon that could be harmed by no weapon forged! Now THAT was brilliant!

Ethan could only shudder with glee as he attempted to figure out how it happened. It must have been Ripper's destruction of the bust of Janus. Instead of the spell ending naturally at dawn, it had been prematurely interrupted, forcing the spirit called by the spell to lose control of their hosts rather then dispelling them as had been intended.

In fact, it gave him some ideas for future consideration, but he was on the job, and as he said, a man needed to eat, so back to business…

"Very well done… I must say, this offers me a an extremely solid foundation to work with, as it is much easier to work with what is already there than it is to come up with something new." Ethan stated with a smile, "So I take it that the young man is to be the substitute Slayer?"

"Yeah," Xander replied, "Willow here is not really into the kicky-punchy bit and Oz is a musician."

Ethan waited for a moment, but no further explanation as to why a musician wouldn't make an acceptable subject seemed to be forthcoming.

"I'll do it, but I need three things in return…"

"And those would be?" Xander asked with some frustration, tapping on the haft of his axe to express his displeasure.

"First," Ethan stated, ignoring Xander's aggravation, "once the spell is cast, I get to stick around. See how my boy performs."

"I'm not your boy!" Xander growled.

"Fine," Ethan chirped, "If that is the way you feel, then please do not allow the door to strike you in the arse on the way out."

"Fine..." Xander conceded, "Giles is going to freak."

Rayne smirked. That was half the fun.

"What else?" Xander asked with a half-hearted sigh.

"The girl assists me in developing the spell. Who knows she might learn something…"

"Deal!" Willow exclaimed with a gleeful smile.

Both Xander and Oz glanced over to Willow with looks of concern on their faces.

Rayne grinned. He'd so enjoy teaching one of Ripper's little pets the wonder's of chaos... Best she learn something of substance before she fell in with that tree-hugging, holier than thou Wicca crowd.

"And lastly, once this spell is developed, it will require physical components…."

Glancing down at the list, he added, "In fact, I can think of three items that will be useful right now."

"And what would those be, and why?" Willow cut in with a smile.

"Ah yes… To the point. I like that in a woman. And since you asked, I shall explain. What we need are items that have a strong connection to the previous spells and modifications to serve as foci during the casting spell. First, I need the plastic rifle I sold to your friend on Halloween for its connection to the Soldier spirit."

Xander nodded. "I still have it, though its in the basement so finding it will take some digging."

"Second, I will need something related to the fish-man transformation. A fragment of the shed skin of one of the members who completed the transformation would work, though a pure sample of the metamorphic agent would be better."

Xander winced. "Yeah… you're not going to turn me into a fish, are you?"

"Of course not…" Ethan gasped in faux indignation, "I am a professional and expert in my field. Why, I am almost offended by your lack of faith in my abilities…"

"Sorry… geeze…" Xander replied, causing Ethan to smirk at his annoyance.

"Good… the last component I will need is something from the Hyenas who were the focus of the primal empowerment ritual. Fur would do…"

"Wait, we're going to have to get fur from the Zoo Hyenas?" Xander exclaimed.

"Yes, and it cannot be any Hyena it must be one of the ones who was the focus of the original spell."

Willow nodded, "That's not a problem because they haven't moved any of them."

Oz looked at his girlfriend questioningly.

"I like the Zoo…" she informed him with a blush.

Oz nodded. "Animals are cool."

"Now that's all over, I'll begin work tomorrow… now, if you all will excuse me… its three in the morning, get out of my house, and don't come back until you have the spell components." He paused and looked to Willow. "Except for you… Now, I'm going back to bed…"

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The next morning Xander was awoken from his slumber by a bellowing cry from downstairs.

"Hey, Boy," Tony Harris growled out, "That redhead you're always hangin' around and her mute boyfriend are here. So get out of your fuckin' bed, and answer the goddamn damned door, you dumb shit!"

With a growl, Xander kicked off his covers and jumped out of bed, pausing only to pull on a shirt and pants before heading towards the steps stopping only to squeeze to the side as his ignorant hulk of a sperm-donor stormed past.

"Get out of my way, boy."

Xander could only sigh once his father had passed. Every night he prayed that he would wake up one morning and find out he was adopted.

Continuing down the steps, Xander walked to his friends who were waiting for him.

"I'm sorry you had to hear that…"

"Its not your fault, Xander," Willow replied, her face as red as her hair. "You are too good for this…"

"If you say so, Wills," Xander replied, "So, why are you here?"

"I though we'd help you find that rifle and then talk about how we're going to get the other components..."

Xander paused, and nodded, "Cool, basement mining it is then…"

With a jerk of his head, Xander lead his friends into his house and quickly began to walk towards the kitchen door. He just hoped that they would not run into his mother on the way.

As he opened the door, he bit down a curse… sitting at the table with a Egg Mc Muffin in one hand, and a glass of bourbon in the other, was his mother.

" G'mornin' Alexander..." Jessica Harris happily slurred, as she looked up from her breakfast with a slightly glazed over stare and a drunken smile.

"Hi mom..." Xander winced.

"Can I help you with somethin' honey," she warmly babbled.

"Ah, no mom," he quickly replied, "We're just looking for something in the basement."

"Okey-dokey," she replied and she poured herself another glass of booze. "Have fun..."

With that said and done with, Xander almost tore the door to his basement off its hinges, directing his friends to walk down. Getting the message, Oz and Willow walked down the steps with with Xander bringing up the rear

Oz glanced back. "She always like that?"

Xander paused for a moment. "Yeah."

"Look like she's starting early," Willow sadly remarked.

Xander paused for a moment, before begrudgingly answering his friend. "Yesterday was pay day. They just stocked up. She's not going to be sober 'till at least Monday."

Oz winced and placed his hand on Xander's shoulder. "Harsh, man. Harsh."

"Thanks," Xander replied.

"Any time." Oz replied they as he entered the basement.

The room was dank and poorly lit. At one side of the room was a work bench. On the other was a old sofa, and in the back lay a massive pile of boxes that seems to have been recently disturbed.

"Crap," was all Xander thought to say upon seeing the newly arranged clutter.

"What's wrong, Xander?" Willow asked in confusion.

"Seems like my mom tried to organize the basement again..."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Willow asked.

"Not really," Xander replied with a deep sigh, "Occasionally when she gets REALLY blitzed, she gets the idea in her head to clean up the basement. She usually comes down, rearranges all the boxes, and passes out on the sofa... the rifle could be anywhere."

"Then we better start digging!" Willow chirped before pulling a box off of the pile.

Oz glanced to Xander, who shared a shrug with his silent friend and began digging.

Looking thorough his box, Xander was somewhat disappointed. All it seemed to be was a bunch of old letters and post cards.

Absently reading the cover of one out he muttered, "Camp Crystal Lake: Wish You Where Here."

"Xander!" Willow squealed out mere moments later, "Take a look at this!"

Xander absently tossed the post card back into the box, and looked over to see what Willow had found. He could not help but smile as he found his friend squeezing the life out of a well worn redheaded doll dressed in a rainbow shirt and overalls.

"Hey, its my old Good Guy doll!"

"Cool," Oz remarked, "I had one of those too."

Xander smiled. "What name did yours have?"

"Billy, how about yours", replied the guitarist.

Willow smiled and pulled the string on the doll's back.

"Hi, I'm Chucky!" the doll stated in a garbled mechanical voice.

"I remember when you got this..." Willow stated with a smile.

"Yeah, Jessie gave it to me for my sixth birthday..."

For a moment, the two old friends went totally silent, sadly remembering the loss of the last member of their original trio.

For a moment, Xander could remember that birthday as if it were yesterday. Jessie had known that Xander wanted a Good Guy doll more than anything, and Jess knew that Xander's parents were not likely to get him one, so Jessie badgered his own parents endlessly until they capitulated and bought Xander one for his birthday. His sorrow and loss slowly transformed to rage as he remembered that was the day he and Jessie swore to be best friends for life... blood brothers. His fists clenched tightly and his teeth began to grind as, for a moment, his vision clouded over with a red film of rage.

He could not wait until this spell was cast, until he was equal to a Slayer, so he could rip those undead sons of bitches apart with his bare hands. 'For you, brother'.

"Xander?"

Xander looked up, right into the concerned eyes of his other childhood best friend. The love and concern in her eyes was like a sedative, as he felt the rage fade from his mind.

"I miss him too."

"Yeah," Xander replied.

With a thin smile, Oz placed his hand on his girlfriend's shoulder. Looking to her boyfriend, Willow smiled and delicately placed the doll to the side, before pulling down another box through which to sort.

"For you, brother," Xander muttered to himself before picking up another box and continuing his search.

Xander growled as they continued to dig though box after box of useless junk... everything from Christmas ornaments to his old man's stupid shot glass collection.

"Don's Place. Springwood, Ohio." Xander deadpanned and he let the glass drop back into the box with the others before unceremoniously kicking the collection to the side. "Only Tony..."

"Hey, Xander?" Oz spoke up.

"Yeah, Oz man?"

"What do you make of this..."

Oz handed him a yellowed old folder. Looking inside he could only make out three things. First, they were old. Second, they were French. And third, they were signed by some guy named Phillip LeMarchand.

"Hey Wills... You took French, right?"

"Yep, what do you need?"

Willow took the papers and gave them a quick once over. " La Configeration de Lamentation... this is strange. Its awfully complex... looks like the instructions for a Puzzle box or a spell, maybe both..."

Xander shrugged. "Put it to the side, we'll show them to G-man once we're done here."

Willow nodded. "Good idea."

"Yeah, he'd probably know what they are," Xander remarked as he dragged a out large crate.

Opening the crate, Xander paused in surprise. The chest was full of the memories of a man whom he had never known. His grandfather.

Looking through the chest, he could not help but feel a connection to his deceased predecessor.

"What's that?" Willow asked.

"My grandfather's war chest," Xander replied.

"Oh, I didn't know that your grandfather fought in the war..."

Xander pulled out the medal plaque and smiled. "Neither did I..."

Looking at it, he began to identify the medals. "Two Purple Hearts, two Bronze Stars, Silver Star, Good Conduct medal, Asiatic-Pacific Campaign medal, World War II Victory Medal..."

"Wow, how do you know all that?" Willow asked her friend in awe.

Xander grinned. "Soldier guy."

Placing the plaque back into the box he continued to dig around, carefully sorting through the letters and neatly folded old uniforms.

"Here, hold this," Xander stated as he plopped his grandpa's helmet onto Willow's head.

"Hey," Willow laughed.

"Looks good," Oz remarked.

Going back to sorting through his Grandfather's stuff, Xander grinned.

"Paydirt."

"Oh?" Willow asked.

"Now these'll be useful..."

Calmly, Xander drew two items from the box. The first was a Japanese officer's sword. The second though, drew dark looked from Willow: a Colt M1911 Handgun.

"A gun Xander?" Willow asked in a vexed tone.

Xander nodded pulling back the Slide and looking over the gun. "Still in good condition. Just needs to be cleaned."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Willow asked her friend.

"Not really, but neither is hunting Vampires..."

Willow scowled, and still not convinced, she added, "You know you can't Kill Vampires with a gun, right..."

Xander grinned viciously. "Yeah, but I bet it sure stings like crazy."

"Good point," Oz remarked, seemingly a little put off by Xander's over-familiarity with firearms.

That said, he tucked the gun back in its holster and placed it to the side, turning his attention to the sword. Carefully, he drew the Katana and looked it over. "Standard Army Officer's fixtures... not sure if the blade is a traditional Katana or mass produced though. Soldier Guy is good with guns, not so hot with swords. I guess I'll show it to G-man. Maybe he be able to figure it out..."

Gently he closed the chest and placed it to the side, silently swearing to his departed grandfather that he'd put his weapons to good use in his own war with the undead.

Moments later, he pulled down another box and smirked, seeing the back end of a cheap plastic replica M16A1.

"Found it!"

"Great," Willow replied.

Xander nodded and withdrew the toy weapon, knocking a photograph out of the box in the process.

Oz immediately bent over and picked the framed picture up, glancing at it, then handing it to Xander.

"Thanks," Xander stated. "I've been wondering where they stuck this."

"Who's the guy?" Oz asked

"Oh, that's my Uncle Ash..."

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"Hey, G-man!" Xander exclaimed as the youths entered the Sunnydale High school library an hour later. Willow and Oz both sat down at a table while Xander began to walk over to the British Watcher.

Looking up from his studies, Giles sighed and responded, "Yes, Xander?"

"I need you to look at something for me..."

Giles stood up, being sure to mark where he was, and carefully placed his chair back under the table. Looking at the young man, he noted that he was caring a Japanese sword. While Xander with a weapon was nothing new, the young man usually wielded weapons from Giles's own collection, and Giles tended to favor occidental over oriental arms.

"Interesting weapon," Giles remarked, "May I see it?"

Xander nodded. "Sure, I was going to ask you if you knew if it's a real Katana or just some mass production piece of junk."

"Where did you acquire it?"

"Grandfather fought in the Pacific. War trophy."

"I see..." Giles stated as he drew the blade.

After giving the weapon a good once over and a solid test swing, Giles frowned and placed it back into its scabbard.

"Honestly, Xander, I am not sure. I must admit that my knowledge of oriental arms tend to be somewhat lacking. Though I could send the weapon to my friend Duncan. He is an expert in these matters and would be able to properly identify it, if you'd like."

"Thanks G-man," Xander replied.

Giles nodded and placed the blade on the table.

"It there anything else you need."

"Yeah, do you speak French?"

"Fluently," Giles replied.

"Cool. What do you make of these?" Xander said as he handed him the odd French instructions.

"Lets see," Giles though out loud and he adjusted his glasses and began to read.

He got as far as the title and the name of the creator.

"Oh my god!" Giles exclaimed at the top of his lungs, his usual veneer of implacability shattering as the middle-aged Englishman stood bug eyed and agape, looking at the document with revulsion and horror.

Surprised by the outburst, Oz and Willow walked over to he table to see what was going on.

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Giles stiffly placed the document on the table, and walked over to the metal trash can picking it up in one arm. He calmly continued to his desk, from which he removed a bottle of Old English Gin, a glass, and a Zippo. Showing no expression, he poured himself a rather large drink, which he downed like water. Doing an almost mechanical about face, he slammed the trash can onto the table and grabbed the instructions. Not missing a beat, tore them apart, dumping them into the can. Then he poured the stiff smelling gin onto them, and lit a scrap of paper on fire, and dropped it into the bin, setting the entire arrangement alight.

"Giles?" Willow asked, "Was that necessary?"

"Yes!" snapped the Watcher.

Willow winced.

"That bad?" Xander asked giving the Watcher a steady look

"No, I'd say it was actually quite a bit worse," Giles responded in all truthfulness.

"So, what was it?"

"If any of you wish to know more, I implore you to either ask later or look up the 'Lament Configuration' or 'LeMarchand's Boxes' in my copy of 'Bolinger's Encyclopedia of the Occult'. Now if you excuse me, I am going to have another drink and lie down."

Casting a look of relief at the dimming fire, Giles turned about, snatching the bottle as he walked away intent on becoming comfortably numb.

Almost immediately, Willow walked over to one of the shelves and removed the book Giles had mentioned.

"So, what now?" she asked.

Xander pulled up a seat, and glanced over to her. "Well we need to figure out how to get the other two spell components..."

"I know," Willow replied as she opened the book, "Its just that I'm not sure how to do it..."

"Well, I know that Buffy and Giles got rid of all the fish-transformation-stuff, so we're going to have to get some skin samples. Good thing that Cameron's parents buried him..." Xander paused, "Or at least the parts that didn't go all fishy."

"You sure?" Oz asked.

"Yeah, I was part of the Swim Team, so I got invited to the funeral with everyone else. His mom spent half the time crying that they had so little left to bury," he sighed, "If they only knew."

Oz nodded. "Cool. I'll get the shovels."

Xander chuckled and shook his head. "Only is Sunnydale is grave robbing one of those things that goes without saying..."

"Oh my god!" Willow interrupted in horror.

Oz glanced over, his eyebrow raised Spock style, while Xander asked, "What's up Wills?"

"Those plans were for a really nasty evil puzzle box made by an evil French toymaker during the 18th century from murdered people's bones and stuff that opens a gateway to another reality so nasty Cenobite Demons can come and drag your soul to a hell dimension where you'll suffer constant sadomasochistic tortures and pleasures for the rest of eternity unless you're turned into one of them first!"

Willow gasped and began to catch her breath.

"Wow," Oz remarked, "Nasty."

"Damn," Xander winced, "How the hell did that get in my basement?"

Oz glanced over to his fellow Scooby, and calmly stated, "We're on a Hellmouth, man."

Xander blinked. "Yeah, stupid question... so, what do we do about the Hyenas?"

Oz smiled. "I have an idea."

Willow smiled. "Really?"

He nodded. "Sneak in, tranq 'em, shave 'em."

Xander nodded, "We need to work out the details, but, it's a plan..."

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It was an average night in Sunnydale California. The air was dry and warm, the stars twinkled in the clear skies like a million pin-pricks on a black light blackened field, and even from over a hundred miles distance, the luminescence of the City of Angels could be seen. In the middle of the graveyard, there was a flurry of activity and two young men tirelessly dug into a grave while a mousey young woman stood vigil with a crossbow in hand. In any other town, this would be highly odd, and highly disturbing. In Sunnydale, it was Saturday Night.

"You know," Xander remarked as he threw a shovel full of packed Earth over his shoulder, "Around here people usually spend their time trying to get out of graves and not into them."

Oz smirked and kept digging.

Xander continued to dig, mechanically casting dirt out of the grave, before wiping his brow in discomfort.

"Man, I'm getting beat."

"Almost there, man," Oz replied.

"Yeah, I know," Xander stated, "Just… Hey Willow, could you hand me a water bottle?"

"Sure," replied the young witch as she handed a water squeeze bottle down to Xander.

With a smile, Xander broke the seal and drank deeply of the cool refreshing liquid.

Smiling at her friend, Willow turned back around, coming face to face with yellow eyes and sharp teeth.

"Argh!" she screamed out as she fired her crossbow at point blank range, striking the vampire in the shoulder.

"You bitch!" exclaimed the bloodsucker as he backhanded her into the grave.

"Ah crap," growled Xander as he pulled a stake out of his shirt.

The vampire, who was dressed in a screaming orange shirt with a collar large enough to allow for independent flight, grinned. "You know, its mighty convenient for you kids to dig your own grave... I'll be saving the girl for desert, so which of you boys would like to be the appetizer and which would like to be the main course?"

"Xander," Oz calmly stated, "Give me your water bottle."

"What?"

"Give it to me."

Xander blinked and handed his water to Oz.

Taking a deep breath, Oz made the sign of the cross over the bottle, muttering, "I bless thee in the name of the lord."

The vampire scoffed. "What kid, you think you're some kind of holy man?"

"Yes, actually," Oz stated as he squeezed the full bottle, sending a stream of water directly into the Vampire's face.

The undead creature screamed in utter agony as the consecrated water burned at its flesh. Oz then squeezed again, soaking the Vampire's pants around the groin. This has the side effect of bringing the vampire's screams up in pitch from a rich tenor to a high soprano, falling over in pain.

Taking the advantage, Xander reached up and grabbed the demon by one of its oversized collars, pulling it down, allowing him to plant his stake though its heart, and reducing it to dust.

As soon as the demon was dead, Oz bent over to check on Willow.

"How is she?" Xander asked.

"I'm okay..." Willow managed to mutter out, seeming a bit dazed and confused "How did you kill the Vamp?"

Xander blinked. "Yeah, I'd like to know that too... Oz, since when have you been a priest?"

Oz grinned, "Since Tuesday."

Xander blinked. "Since Tuesday?"

"Yeah... I'm a minister."

Xander blinked. "How did you pull that off?"

Oz grinned, "Replied to the Universal Life Church add in Rolling Stone Magazine. Got ordained."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Willow asked.

Oz shrugged, "Never came up."

"Ah," she replied, accepting her boyfriend's defense. "Now could you help me get out of here, please?"

Both men nodded and boosted Willow out of the grave, where she straightened herself out, reloaded the crossbow, and returned her vigil.

"You know what this means, right Oz?" Xander replied once he returned to digging.

Oz glanced over. "What?"

"Well, this means that tomorrow its time to begin mass production. Time to seriously stock up on holy water."

Oz nodded as he cleared another shovel full of dirt. "I'll load up the van. We can meet at school."

"Yeah. How did you think of this one anyways?" Xander asked as he continued to dig.

"You're not the only one who thinks we're in over our heads," Oz replied as he cast away more dirt. "This was my plan."

Xander smiled. "Good plan, Oz."

"Thanks."

Xander slammed his shovel down, this time striking something hollow.

"Hey, I think we hit the casket," Xander exclaimed with a smile.

"Agreed," Oz replied.

"Hey Wills," Xander called up, "Pass me down the pick."

Willow quickly passed Xander the large tool, before swiftly returning to her watching duties, not wanting to be ambushed by any more undead.

Xander smiled and struck down with the tool, smashing a hole in the casket and half ripping off of the top on his return.

Inside lay the desiccated skin of Cameron, one the former stars of the swim team. Wincing in disgust, Xander bent down, pulled out a pair of scissors, cutting off a large piece of the dried out husk, and placing it into a baggy.

"Now that that's done," Xander remarked with disgust, "Lets get the hell out of here!"

Oz nodded in response. "Agreed."

------------- -------------

Giles raised an eyebrow as the door to his library opened, allowing three teenagers to drag in what seemed to be numerous crates of bottled water.

"What are you doing?" the Watcher calmly asked.

"Oh," Willow chirped as she placed a pair of gallon jugs onto the table, "Oz is going to bless these?"

Giles blinked. "What?"

Xander grinned as he placed a 24 pack of water on the table next to Willow's jugs. "Seems Oz is a holy man."

Giles blinked once more, growing even more confused. "What?"

Oz glanced over to Giles as he placed his own liquidy load onto the table with the others.

"Universe Life Church," the teen wolf replied, "Got ordained."

Oh bloody hell. By reflex the Watcher removed his glasses and cleaned them. They could not be serious. He remembered those adds from his younger days. Send in a self-addressed stamped envelope and be ordained as a minister no questions asked. He had always thought it was bloody ridiculous. What was even more ridiculous was the idea that by sending in a self-addressed self envelope one could gain the ability to consecrate holy water...

"Do you seriously think this is going to work?" the Watcher drolly asked the young musician.

"Did last night," Oz replied.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "We got jumped by a vamp, he blessed my water bottle, and it worked like a charm."

For a moment, Giles's mind just ceased to function, as it attempted to resist the concept that a teenager, who had simply sent an envelope to some quack church that advertised in a rock and roll magazine, had the ability to create holy water.

"Are you sure that it was not already consecrated?" Giles asked Xander, looking for some form of explanation.

"Unless that crazy guy working at the Quick Stop is actually a priest and blesses all the bottled water, I'd have to say it was normal."

"Bloody hell," the Watcher exclaimed.

This was bloody moronic. Still, he had to admit, if it was stupid, and it worked, then no matter how asinine it might seem, it wasn't stupid. Having someone on hand to consecrate holy water on demand would be damned useful, a fact that his young allies had apparently realized on their own.

Looking to Oz he asked, "What this your original intent?"

"Yep," the young man relied.

Bloody brilliant, and not to mention, funny as hell. He had to admit it. Send in an envelope and become a human holy water factory. He'd have to research this a bit... there just had to be more to it than just getting an approval stamp. Though, if that was it, and all you simply needed was to be consecrated for it to work, then he'd not only do it himself, but he'd ask every one of the 'Scoobies' to do so as well.

Regardless of possible use though, this last bout of teenage ridiculousness, combined with the fact that they had somehow managed to locate a copy of original plans for one of the most vile demonic constructs created in the last 500 years only the day before, was giving him a bit of a headache.

He swore, if the local monsters did not kill him, he knew that these youths would probably do so through premature aging. He really needed to lie down and rest up, lest these teenagers give him a stroke.

"Do you have any more water you need to bring in?" Giles asked.

"We've got an entire van full," Xander replied cheekily.

If their previous rate of usage was anything to base an estimate off of, then that would be enough to last them most of the year. Giles could hardly resist smiling as he considered the consequences. No more having to make a arse of himself to convince the local clergy to supply him with the relatively vast quantities of holy water that they required. They were now one step closer to self-sufficiency.

"I see," Giles replied after some thought, "Then you may use one of the book carts to help expedite the process."

Giles paused for a moment, and grinned viciously as a somewhat sadistic but bloody effective idea entered his mind, "And Oz?"

"Yeah?"

"When you are finished, I want you to accompany me to the basement. I would like you to bless the water tank for the school's sprinkler system"

Oz grinned. "Cool."

"Now," Giles continued, "If you need me, I'll be in my office. I feel the need to lie down."

------------- -------------

"So, what do you have planned for the zoo?" Willow asked Xander as the wheeled the last load of water into the Library.

Xander shrugged. "Not sure yet... first thing we need to do is get a map, but I haven't gotten the chance to pick one up, yet."

Willow smiled. "I'll get one off the internet."

"Great," Xander replied, "Think you could get any other info?"

Willow nodded. "I'll do what I can."

"Thanks," Xander replied.

Willow smiled and ran off to the computer lab. Xander glanced over to Giles's office, and seeing no activity, sat down, putting his feet up on the chair opposite him.

Xander could not help by smile as he looked at Oz, who was on the other end of the table blessing water. It was an amusing process really. First, he plopped the bottle on the table, then he'd bless it, then he'd stick a little gold cross sticker on top, and move onto the next bottle.

"What are you people doing?" Cordelia asked as she stormed through the entrance to the library, giving the two seated males a harsh look.

"Oz is making Holy Water," Xander replied, "He got himself ordained as a Minister."

"Are you serious? He's a werewolf... I'd think that would kind of make him ineligible or something." Cordy asked, giving the werewolf a incredulous glance.

Xander shrugged. "His holy water seemed to work well enough last night."

"Oh, cool... so we have ourselves a holy water factory then," she remarked.

"So, why are you here? You usually have other places to hang out besides the school library," Xander asked.

Cordy scowled. "Why have you guys been cutting me out of patrols? Its not like I don't mind the extra sleep but I want to know what going on."

"You really want to know?" Xander asked.

Cordy scowled and glared at her boyfriend, "I asked, didn't I, Harris?"

Xander shrugged. "Well, as soon as Willow gets back from the computer lab, we're going to start planning a break in at the Zoo. Want to know the details?"

Cordelia blinked twice, and deadpanned, "Right... you have fun... I'm going to get a mocha."

With that said, she about faced and left without another word said.

Moments later, Willow entered with a small stack of printouts in hand, and a smile on her face.

"Got the map!" Willow stated happily.

Oz nodded and finished up his blessing for the moment, stretching his arms, and moving over a seat so Willow could sit between Xander and himself, allowing everyone to see the map.

Willow sat down between the two and laid the map out.

"So, what do we got, Wills?"

"The Hyena section is open from 8am to 6pm. Feeding times are at 7:30 am and 6:30 pm. The only personnel there after 10pm are the security guards and some vets..."

"Wow, Wills, how did you get all that?" Xander asked in awe.

Willow smiled. "Its all up on their website."

"Okay..." Xander replied, "So, feeding is at 6:30?"

Willow nodded.

"Then by, say, one or two in the morning, they'd be pretty hungry."

Xander glanced at the map and thought back to the disjointed memories floating around in his head. Decades of experience doing similar operations from Soldier Guy mixed with his own Scooby experience.

"The Hyena's are kept here," Xander stated, pointing to a small building near the south wall. "We go over, sticking to the hedges lining the paths," he traced his finger along the trails to the building, "And we enter through the south door..."

Willow raised her hand.

Xander glanced over. "Yeah, Wills?"

"Two problems... don't they have razor wire over the walls, and how do we open the doors?"

Xander paused for a moment, "We can throw a heavy blanket over the wire. As for the locks, they use padlocks, right?"

Willow shook her head. "Nope."

"Damn, I guess we have to pick it."

Oz glanced over, "You can pick locks?"

"Nope," Xander replied, "But Soldier Guy can."

Oz nodded, but he looked a bit unsure.

"Once we're in we lure them close to the bars with some meat, and use the tranq gun on them..."

Oz nodded. "Cool... when do we do it?"

Xander paused. "We have to think up the stuff we'll need... your tranq gun, some rope, a heavy blanket, scissors, a bag, and lock picks..."

"We'll probably need to dress right," Willow recommended. "Gloves and masks..."

"Right," Xander stated, "And dark clothes, just in case one of the guards is actually crazy enough to patrol the grounds."

"Ninja style." Oz remarked.

"Right, now... any other ideas?"

"Duct tape," Oz stated sagaciously, "You always need duct tape."

------------- -------------

It was the middle of the night when Oz's van pulled up next to the small south wall of the Sunnydale Zoo. The area was dark and foreboding, almost in the middle of nowhere. Well suited for the business at hand. Almost as soon as they had stopped, the occupants exited the vehicle. Like a team of amateur ninja, the three darkly clad teens approached the wall of the zoo, dragging an aluminum ladder behind them.

Carefully, Oz and Xander braced the ladder against the wall, and with Xander and Willow holding it steady, Oz climbed up the wall and threw a ratty but thick brown blanket over a segment of razor wire, and gave the others a thumbs up.

Moments later, Xander handed him a coil of rope, which was then hooked to one of the heavy metal supports that anchored the wire. Letting it fall down, Oz nodded to Xander, who then proceeded to throw a duffle bag over the wall.

"You guys ready?" Xander whispered to the others.

"I'm cool" Oz stated from the top.

Willow nodded, and sounding a bit unsure, said, "I guess so..."

"Okay," Xander replied. "Oz, then me, then Wills?

"I'm Cool..." Oz replied

"Yeah," Willow nodded.

"Then lets get this show on the road," Xander stated with a grin.

With a nod, Oz crossed the wire, grabbed hold of the rope, and slid down the wall. Moments later, Xander was over. Then Willow climbed to the top, and with shaking hands began to move over the covered razor wire..

"Be careful, Wills," Xander warned, "You don't want to fall..."

"I know I just..." Willow squealed in terror as she slipped and fell backwards, off of the wall towards the two men on the ground.

In a flash, both Oz and Xander were moving to catch her. Unfortunately, they decided to move into the same space tripping over each other and falling on their asses. Terror in her eyes, Willow fell off of the wall, sure that the impact would break her neck. Fortunately for her, while their scramble to catch her proved to be ineffective, the two young men served as a lumpy, but functional cushion.

"Ouch." Oz muttered from his place in the middle of the Scooby sandwich.

"Are you guys okay?" Willow exclaimed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to trip, I mean I could have broken you necks, or my neck, or..."

"We're fine, Wills," Xander grunted from the bottom. "Now will you guys please get off me? You're heavy and I think one of Oz's stakes is poking me in the side..."

"Oh, sorry Xander!" Willow exclaimed, standing up and brushing herself off, before helping Oz to stand up.

From his place on the ground, Xander groaned and turned over, slowly rising to his feet.

"Come on guys," he muttered, as he rubbed his lower back. "The Hyena's are this way."

Oz nodded and grabbed the duffle bag.

"Stay low, and quiet," Xander stated as they began to sneak, even though there didn't seem to be a guard or camera in sight. "You can't be too careful."

Oz and Willow glanced at each other and began to follow as Xander crouched down and began to sneak along the sides of the path, sticking to the shadows, and using the hedges as cover.

"To bad we don't have boxes," Xander muttered to himself as they snuck along the hedge line.

"Boxes?" Oz wondered.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "Cardboard boxes."

"Cardboard boxes?" Willow questioned.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "A box can save your life."

Willow blinked and looked at Xander incredulously, "You're kidding me, right? Are you sure you're okay? Did you hit your head?"

"Listen," Xander snapped, turning around, "If there is one lesson I learned from Soldier Guy, it's the value of a cardboard box. Wills, I'm not exaggerating when I say that how you use a cardboard box can mean the difference between success and failure, between life and death... Treat your box well, and it will treat you well..."

As Xander began to continue on, Oz and Willow paused to share a glance, both having trouble accepting Xander's declaration of the value of the common cardboard box as an infiltration aid. Shaking their heads in doubt, they then continued on, following their friend.

After some twists and turns, but no guards, the three Scoobs came to a stop at the door of the Hyena exhibit. Xander walked over to the door and tested it. When it didn't open, Xander smiled and pulled out a simple lock picking set.

"I'll have this in a second," Xander stated.

Kneeling on the ground in front of the door, he began to fiddle with the lock, in he attempted to pick the lock. As he worked the mechanical lock, seconds slowly ran into minutes.

"Xander, are you sure you know what you're doing?" Willow asked him.

"I should... I think I'm getting it..."

Oz scowled. "We're standing in the open, man..."

Xander glanced over at his friends. "Do either of you know how to pick a lock?" he whined petulantly.

Oz paused and shook his head.

"How about you, Willow?"

She paused for a moment and smiled. "No, but I can try something else..."

"Oh?" Xander asked, "What are you going to try?"

"A spell," Willow happily chirped."

Xander moved away from the door and smiled to his oldest comrade. "Spell away."

Willow took a deep breath and walked to the door. Centering herself, she began to chant.

_"Enter we unannounced and unwanted,  
Quick and sure our prize,  
Hermes we beseech thee,  
Let the lock be unblocked with a simple KNOCK!"_

Willow lightly rapped once on the door, then she turned the handle. With a gentle clicked, it opened.

Oz stifled a chuckle, and glanced over to Xander. With a coy smile, he muttered, "Knock spell."

Xander grinned and snickered. "Yeah, you're right..."

With a huff, Willow turned around and glared at the two young men. "What's so funny?" she demanded.

"Nothing," replied Xander.

"Fiction follows form, that's all," Oz stated calmly.

Willow blinked. "Oh, I see..."

"Cool, now let's get inside before someone sees us," Xander stated as he shuffled inside.

As soon as he entered the building, Xander could not help but be struck by a grim sense of deja-vu. Memories of his last primal empowerment, the last time he was "possessed" by the Hyena spirit came flooding into mind. He could not help but remember all the things he had done under the influence of the Hyena. He'd eaten the school mascot, treated one of his best friends like garbage, and worst of all, he had tried to rape the other. The worst thing was though, that he had never really been possessed. Influenced yes, but not possessed. The Alpha had been all his most basic and primal instincts brought to the fore, just with some Hyena for flavoring. If the spell went wrong, and the Alpha took over again...

Glancing to his friends he could not help but shudder at the idea. If it came to that, and he was once again transformed into his very own Angelus, he hoped that his friends would have the strength to do what Buffy couldn't, and put him down before he hurt someone.

"Xander, are you alight?" Willow asked him, bringing him out of his funk.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he lied. "Lets do this and get out of here."

Oz nodded and opened up the duffle bag, removing a few large pot roasts and his tranquilizer gun.

Xander nodded to Oz as he tore the cellophane from the first pot roast. Across the room, the Hyena's all leapt to their feet at the smell of blood, and began to approach the bars, their insane cackling beginning to resound though the room.

Xander carefully lifted the pot roast and glanced over to Oz.

"You ready?"

"Yeah."

"Remember," Willow cut in, "We want a sample for every one of them. Having a sample form the hyena that actually possessed Xander might help the spell."

Oz nodded. "Ready, man?"

Xander nodded, "Ready..."

"Do it," Oz stated holding the weapon at the ready.

Xander gulped and slowly began to walk towards the safety railing of the Hyena pen. Beyond that was a three foot gap and then the bars themselves. And behind them, a pack of flesh eating African hounds who'd have no problem eating him alive, like they did the zookeeper who originally cast the damned spell.

With a gulp, he held the meat near the bars, the hyena's snapping though, climbing all over each other in a frenzy to get to the meat.

"Be careful, Xander," Willow meekly muttered, as her friend stood only feet away from the pack.

"Any time, Oz..." Xander muttered as one of the beasts snapped at him.

With a loud puff, the gun went off, hitting one of the beasts with a dart. The animal yelped in surprise, and managed to back away from the bars before hitting the ground. In response to their pack member going down, the others back up defensively and began to growl at them.

Looking over his shoulder, Xander glanced to Willow. "Open up the next pack."

"Alright," she replied, grabbing one of the pot roasts.

"Oz, I'm going to throw this in. When they go for it, shoot one of them."

Oz nodded.

Taking a deep breath, Xander threw the roast through the bars, right in front of the pack. As expected, one of them immediately jumped up and snapped at the meat, receiving a dart for his troubles.

The other animals growled and began to snap at the bars again. Oz quickly loaded the weapon and fired another shot, hitting one of them. In response, the others jumped back and snarled.

Taking the other roast from Willow, Xander put it through the bars.

This time the hyena's did not just jump at it, but seemed to hold back. For a long moment, the animals looked to the meat, then to the Scoobies, and then again to the meat. Slowly, once of them began to walk forward, and picked up the meat in his jaws. He was shot only moments later.

"Only two left," Xander replied. "Willow, meat."

Willow nodded and handed a London broil to Xander. Xander smiled and began to wag it in front of the hyenas. They only snarled in response.

"I don't think they're going to fall for it this time..." Willow remarked.

Xander nodded. "Yeah... any ideas?"

"We have some rope..." Oz suggested.

"Hyena fishing?" Xander asked with a grin.

Oz nodded.

"Good idea. Lets do it." Xander grinned, "I just hope I don't have to throw this one back."

Oz pulled a small length of rope out of his pack and threw it to Xander. Xander used his scissors to punch a hole through the center of the slab of flesh, and ran a piece of their thick hemp rope though the hole. Expertly knotting it off, he began to swing it in front of the hyenas to attract their attention. After a moment, he then threw it through the bars, landing it right in front of the beasts.

The hyena's looked at the meat, which was just out of reach and stepped forward. Xander pulled the rope back. They stepped forward again, Xander pulled the rope back once more. This time, one of them lunged at it, and while Xander pulled the rope back again, the animal was still able to bite in.

Xander jerked back with all his strength, pulling the Hyena off balance and sliding forward.

"Oz! Now!"

The dart struck the animal as it recovered from its trip. It did not get back up.

Seeing the fate of its pack mates, the final animal was content to push up against the back of the wall and growl.

"What now," Oz asked.

Xander paused in thought. How to get the animal to come forward. Looking over the room, his eyes came to rest on a supply closet against the back wall.

"Willow, can you unlock that door?"

"Sure," she replied, happy to once again show her magical prowess, and with a quick mutter of the spell, and a knock, the door was open.

Xander quickly crossed over the railing and looked in the closet. It was an average janitor's closet, trashcan, mop, bucket, broom, and all the other assorted odds and ends you'd expect.

Xander grabbed the broom and smiled. "I have an idea."

"What's you're idea?" Willow asked him.

He smiled. "We annoy it into coming forward."

Oz nodded. "Cool."

Passing over the railing again, Xander began to pace back and forth, running the brush over the bars. Inside the cage the hyena tracked the brush back and forth, growling in growing annoyance as the sound aggravated it, and the brush tempted it to strike. Eventually, it could only take some much, and it attacked the brush.

Oz fired the dart, hitting it mid charge. The animal actually bounced off the side of the cage.

Xander smiled and pulled out his scissors. Reaching into the cage, he grabbed the nearest hyena to pull it forward, but the animal was just far enough away that he couldn't get enough leverage to pull it any closer.

"Damn, problem," Xander stated, "Having some trouble reaching it..."

"Maybe a hook might work..." Willow suggested.

Xander shook his head. "I saw a big wire coat hook that might work in the closet, but we'd need to attach it to a pole."

"No problem then," Oz responded.

Xander glanced over to his best friend's boyfriend. "It doesn't look like its meant to attach to one."

Oz reached into the bag and slowly lifted out the roll of duct tape. "Easily solved..."

"Oz, you're a genius," Xander laughed, "Now lets do this, and get the hell out of here..."

------------- -------------

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

"Oh bloody hell!" Ethan Rayne exclaimed as he was disturbed from his slumber. This was the second time this week that some nitwit had woken him up in the middle of the night. Good god, someone was going to get cursed for this. He wasn't sure who, but somebody was going to wake up with warts on their arse, explosive diarrhea, or maybe a little blood in their urine for this one.

Throwing on his dressing gown, Ethan stormed over to his door, and almost tore it off the hinges.

"What the bloody hell do you want," Ethan roared without looking.

"You told us to come back when we had the spell components," Xander deadpanned.

Ethan stepped back. It was them again, Ripper's little band. The same group who had only days ago hired him to do a job. The only thing was that this time, they were dressed like rejects from some bad action adventure film.

"When I told you to bring them back, I did not mean at..." he glanced at the wall clock, "Four in the bloody morning."

"So, you want us to come back later?" Xander with a smirk.

Ethan sighed and shook his head. "No, fine, you're here, and you are paying me for this..."

Stepping back he muttered, "Come in..."

Xander's eyes hardened and he looked at the Chaos Mage levelly. "You just invited us into you're house in the middle of the night."

Ethan winced. The boy had a point, and he could not help but feel some minor sliver of gratitude to the boy for pointing out his error. In this town that particular stupid mistake could get you killed.

"Yes, yes," he sighed, "Damage done."

Once again, the boy, the young witch, and the musician entered and sat down at his sofa.

Sitting in his chair, Ethan looked at the three levelly. "Now, show me what you have."

Xander nodded and placed three items on the table. First, a large plastic rifle which he remembered selling to the youth the past Halloween. Second, a plastic baggy containing a large piece of dried skin. And lastly, a large bag of hair.

"Are you sure these are all the proper items?" The Chaos Mage asked.

Xander nodded, "The rifle is the only toy plastic rifle I had."

"And the skin?"

"Taken from the grave of one of the swimteam."

Ethan smirked. Its was always fun to introduce impressionable youth to joys of grave robbing.

"And the fur?"

Willow nodded, "Its fur from every member of the pack... I thought if some fur form the original hyena was there it might work better."

Ethan smiled. Smart girl, it would indeed make things more effective.

"Are you sure that this is it from the correct Hyenas?"

Willow nodded. "They're the same hyenas that were there a last time we were to the zoo, I made sure."

"And how did you get the fur?" Ethan asked, "I doubt they'd react well to you just asking to shave their animals."

"We broke in," Oz responded.

First grave robbing and now breaking and entering. Corrupting today's youth... one of the great pleasures in life. He could not wait to wake up in the morning and read the details of the break-in while he sipped his morning tea. Ethan could not help but break into a full smile.

It almost felt like Christmas at his Mum's.

"Well done," Ethan stated wisely. "Very well done. You have done a superb job of swiftly delivering exactly what I need. Now I warn you, this spell will take some time to create, but I give you my word as a professional that it will be what you wanted."

Ethan sharply stood up and brushed off his gown. "Now, Willow is it?"

The young witch nodded.

"I would like you to come by some time in the next few days so we can begin researching the spell. Is that acceptable?"

"I'll be over tomorrow..." Willow paused, "I mean later today."

"Excellent," Ethan responded, "Now I'd like to ask all of you to please leave... and in the future, don't stop by in the middle of the bloody night!"

------------- -------------

"I am so tired," Willow moaned as she laid her head on the library table.

"That's why happens when you only get three hours sleep in two days," Xander muttered.

Oz yawned as if to make a point.

Xander smiled and glanced over. "Amen, Reverend."

Giles slowly approached the three teens, and could not help but notice their sorry state. All three seemed to be seriously sleep deprived. They probably stayed up later the last night on patrol. While he appreciated their dedication, that would not do.

"Are all of you alright?" he asked the three of them.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "We just didn't get much sleep last night. Patrolling and all that."

"I see," Giles replied, feeling a slight bolt of pride at the dedication shown by three young people who had come to mean so much to him.

Looking them over, he quickly decided that they would best do with some time to rest, and thusly, he would spare them the effort of listening to him prattle on about the fine details of his latest concerns, "Then I will be brief. There have been two odd events in the last couple days that seem to require some level of investigation."

"What would that be?" Willow yawned.

"It seems that last night someone broke into the Sunnydale Zoo, the hyena exhibit to be precise. And the night before that the grave of one of your classmates, one of the swim team if I recall was uncovered."

All three teenagers snapped to their feet, wide eyes and ready for business. Once again, he felt a bolt of pride that three individuals who by all rights should be bystanders took this all so very seriously.

It also made him feel a shot of serious resentment towards the Council. He had been raised with the knowledge he would fight the undead, while the Slayer was chosen by some higher power for the role. In comparison, these youth simply saw evil, and decided to fight rather than bow down to fear. He had to respect that, and the support the provided, sanctioned or no, was the reason why his charge was still among the living.

A second bolt of resentment, as well as parental concern struck, him as he thought of Buffy. The girl was the bloody Slayer. While these normal children were fighting the enemies she had been born to destroy, she was off doing only god knows what. God, he hoped she was alright. It would just not do for something to happen to the poor girl...

"I want all of you to keep an eye out for any details. We do not know why this was done, but there must be some ulterior motive."

"Sure thing!" Oz stated clearly.

"Got it!" Xander replied.

"If we find anything, you'll be the first to know!" Willow finished, enthusiastically.

Giles could only smile. They were such good kids... 


	2. Chapter 2

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offence to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 2: Even Rocky Had a Montage  
By PsyckoSama

From the outside, the Squeaky Clean Up Waste Management Plant seemed like any other art deco building in Newark, New Jersey. Well, maybe except for the massive brazier, but you can make exceptions for style. The buildings true face, its true purpose though, lay beneath its foundations, imbedded into the very rock that supported the city lay a Top Secret branch of the United States government: the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense.

Special Agent John Myers could not help but feel a sense of impending doom as he pushed a large cart of flap jacks towards the vault that served as Hellboy's room. That's not to say he didn't like the big red lug, hell, Hellboy'd been his childhood hero. Oh, sure, he'd thought he was a only comic book character, but he'd still been his hero. The problem was that he knew the big red monkey well enough that he could gauge his mood from his tone of voice, and if the way HB'd sounded this morning was any hint, he was in for one hell of a morning.

John absently tugged at his tie as he pushed the cart through the threshold. Sitting on his custom pickup truck rear end turned bed, sat Hellboy. Very much the image of the stereotypical demon, Hellboy was a full seven foot tall, nearly three feet wide at the shoulders, and had to weigh over 350 pounds. If his size was not enough, bright red skin, tail, horns, and massive stone right hand were also one hell of a give away.

"Hey, Myers! Just the man I was lookin' to see!" Hellboy exclaimed and he put down the belt sander he used to grind down his horns, "Oh, pancakes! Come on, sit down... I'll let you have a short stack!"

Myers gulped. Hellboy never shared his breakfast unless he wanted you to do him a favor, and considering their line of work... Yeah, he was screwed.

"Somethin' wrong Jonny-boy?" Hellboy asked him with a toothy grin.

"Nothing," John relented with a sigh as he sat down on Red's bed.

"Great!" Hellboy replied, "Because I need you to do me a favor..."

John sighed once again. The fish was right, he was easy.

"What do you need?" he sighed.

Hellboy sat back and pulled over an old weathered photo album. John glanced over as Hellboy began to thumb though the pages. Pictures of Hellboy as a child, Hellboy and several famous people, Hellboy and his late father... just for a moment, he felt a bit closer to his demonic comrade.

"Here we go," Hellboy stated as he stopped flicking and turned the book over to John. "This page."

The FBI agent looked down, into the book. On the aforementioned page were two faded images of Hellboy posing with friends. The first was Hellboy with a statuesque redhead. The second, with a rather morose looking man with black hair. It surprised him how happy and young his friend looked in both images.

"Who's the girl," John asked with a smirk, "Old girl friend?"

Hellboy smiled slightly, "First crush... but this isn't about her. Its about Angel."

John blinked. He guessed the other guy was Angel, but if the obvious age of the photograph was any hint, then that man had to be at least be in his seventies by now.

"I take it that's the man in the other picture?"

Hellboy grinned, "How long did it take you to figure that one out, Boy Scout?"

"Har-de-har. Who is he?"

"He's a Vampire."

John scowled. "Aren't vampires blood thirsty demonically possessed corpses who lack all moral compass?"

"Not this one," Hellboy replied, "He was cursed with a soul."

"So," John asked with a sigh, "What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to check up on him. He was like an uncle to me as a kid. He helped me see past the mirror, helped me realize that this..." Hellboy waved his flesh and blood hand in front of his face to bring attention to his demonic vestige, "...isn't all there is to it. I want you to check up on him. I've heard some nasty rumors, and I owe him at least that much..."

John smiled slightly. He remembered how his own uncle had taken him in and raised him as his own. If this vampire was like an uncle to Hellboy, he'd do it. He owed his big red buddy at least that much. "Okay, where am I going?"

"Sunnydale," Hellboy replied.

John winced. Yeah, there was a catch, he knew it...

"Don't worry buddy," Hellboy stated as he slapped his friend on the back with his stone hand, almost knocking John off of the bed. "Its nothing you can't handle, besides, its not like we'd send anyone to a Hellmouth without backup."

John glanced over. "So this is approved?"

Hellboy nodded, "Yep. Already got Kate to sign the orders. Just wanted to make sure you're fine with it before I filed them."

"Alright," John sighed. "Who are you sending with me?"

"Mulder and Scully. You're the senior agent on this one."

John repressed a groan. He knew them. Former FBI X-Files investigators, transferred to the BRPD after the whole ordeal in Russia. Plenty of field experience, none of it with the BPRD.

"So you're sending three green agents to the Hellmouth?"

Hellboy grinned, "Don't worry. You did just fine in Russia, and they've been dealing with this stuff for years. You'll do alright."

"Great," he sighed. What could be worse?

"Oh, yeah..." Hellboy added, "There are some others groups operating in the area. Make sure to check your fire, and if you see anyone in tweed, report in _immediately_."

John winced. He needed learn to keep his big mouth... brain... what ever, shut.

------------- ------------- 

Jack O'Toole smirked as he walked down the streets of his home town. Sunnydale, lovely Sunnydale. He could just taste his plans for the night. Hang out with the gang, get drunk, get laid, maybe beat someone up. It was a good plan. Damn good plan...

Jack scowled for a moment, his train of thought broken as a chill went up his spine. Was he being followed?

Jack glanced over his shoulder and shrugged. Nothing out of the ordinary. Just a dirty old street. Cars, trash, and a cardboard box. Nothing out of the ordinary...

Shrugging it off, he continued to walk. Yeah, he'd call Bob, Dickie, and Parker once he got home. Maybe stop by the Bronze... sure the drinks sucked, but there was plenty of hot Jailbait to tap. He'd get one of the little sluts a drink, get her drunk, and get her sweet ass to the Downtown Apartments. He'd hit that shit, let her fall asleep, and run off with her purse. Heh. Love _and_ money... God, he was a genius...

Jack paused as another chill went up his spine. Turning around, he once again saw nothing. Dirt, street, trash, cars, cardboard box... man, what was with all the fucking boxes?

With a shrug, he onces again turned about and began walking, and again, he felt another chill run up his spine. He started to turn around, but this time, he didn't quite make it. He felt a pair of hands grab him, one twisting his arm around, locking him in place, while the other twisted him into a painful head lock.

"What the fuck!" Jack exclaimed as he gasped for air, "You're breaking my fucking neck!"

"Not yet," growled his assailant, "But if you don't tell me exactly what I want to know, I just might."

To make a point, he jerked Jack's head. The young criminal winced back a yelp of pain as his vertebra creaked from the stain.

"Fine, what the fuck do you want to know!"

"I need an ID," he replied, "You know people who could get me one." It was not a question.

"What the fuck!?" Jack exclaimed, "All this for a fucking fake ID? Shit, I'd have just told you!"

"I need one that can pass serious inspection. I'm not just looking for drinks here."

"Alright. Joe at the DMV. He's the old black guy with the lazy eye. He can set you up for 100 bucks. Just don't tell him who sent you, okay?" Jack whined.

"Thanks."

In a flash jack felt his feet being kicked out from under him, and barely had time to cry out in shock as the pavement rushed up to meet him. After that, all was darkness.

He woke up in the hospital two hours later with a splitting headache.

------------- ------------- 

Ethan Rayne smiled as he heard a gentle knock on his front door. Glancing at the clock, he couldn't help but smile. Five in the afternoon. Unlike her sometimes intimidating but comically inclined companions, the neophyte witch apparently hadn't been raised in a barn by the animals.

"Hello!" Ethan said with a smile as he opened his front door.

"Hell, Mr. Rayne," Willow stammered, nervously glancing back and forth.

Ethan stepped to the side, letting the girl enter and calmly closed the door behind her.

"One important thing, Willow," Ethan stated off the top, "Mr. Rayne was my father. I am either Ethan or Rayne."

"Alright, Ethan," Willow replied nervously.

"Is there something wrong?" Ethan asked the girl.

"Sorry," Willow muttered, "I'm just a bit nervous. I can't help but think of the whole Halloween thing... that was pretty evil..."

Ethan sighed and sat down on his couch. "It was not evil," he stated clearly, "It was actually rather neutral."

"But all those kids turned into demons..." Willow protested.

"Yes, true, but you do remember that there were no serious injuries, that in fact, despite the number of little monsters running around, there were no fatalities, something I am sure has never happened before in Sunnydale"

"Well, we were keeping things under control..." Willow replied.

"With a ghost, a noblewoman, and a soldier?" Ethan countered with an infuriating smirk.

"Yes..." Willow meekly responded.

"I take it you didn't notice all the police, the white hatted cowboy, knight, soldiers, and super hero costumes I sold."

"But if you wanted chaos, why sell good-guy costumes? I mean, don't heroes fight for peace, justice and order while bad guys blow things up and make messes and chaos and all that insanity..."

Ethan sighed, "Chaos is change, my dear. My objective was to add some spice to life with the unexpected, not to further the goals of the forces of evil or what ever black and white clap-trap Ripper has been feeding you. You must understand that chaos where evil dominates isn't chaos, it is _carnage_. The same is true with all good and no evil. You just end up with some stagnant happy land where everyone is smoking weed all the time. And that, my dear, is boring; and I abhor boring."

"Besides," he continued, "The locals here are too goddamn sedate, and I thought that maybe a nice kick in the arse might be needed. Could open their eyes, could make them pull their heads from the mud. I didn't know, and frankly, I couldn't care less why they've decided to ignore reality. Playing possum while monsters eat them? That's their decision, not mine."

Willow blinked and smiled. "You mean you did it for a GOOD reason?"

"No," Ethan replied, "I did it because it was fun, because it was unexpected. The possibility of opening the eyes of these blind idiots was only a boon, not the objective."

Willow scowled, "I see..."

Ethan grinned, "Now, did you bring what I told you to bring?"

Willow blinked, "You mean a picture of the school bully?"

"Yes," Ethan replied, "I am going to be teaching you a spell tonight."

"Really?" Willow's face lit up. "But I thought we were going to be working on Xander's transformation..."

"Oh, we will..." Ethan responded with an impish grin, "But I do wish to teach you some practical knowledge."

"Okay, but why did you need a picture of Larry?" Willow asked again.

"This boy tormented you throughout your childhood, correct?" Ethan asked.

Willow nodded with a scowl. "Yeah, he always used to make fun of me, call me a nerd. And he always pushed around Xander and Jessie and was mean to them..."

"Then, wouldn't you say some revenge is in order?" Ethan asked with a gleeful smile on his lips.

Willow recoiled, "I don't want to cast a curse on him... curses are bad."

Ethan grinned like a shark. "But my dear, we will not be casting a curse. Technically, we'll be casting a love spell."

Willow winced. "That's even worse..."

"Oh, don't worry," Ethan replied, "It is a VERY weak one. All it does is cause the subject of the spell to have vivid and sexual dreams about the other target or targets of the spell..."

"But why would I want to give him naughty dreams?" Willow wondered aloud. "And how would that be revenge?"

"You told me that this Larry is very macho, a real ladies man, correct?" Ethan asked the red-head.

Willow thought about it for a moment. "Well, he has gone out with half the cheerleading squad..."

"Yes," Ethan responded, "And that's why the subjects of the spell will be the entire defensive lineup of the San Francisco 49ers."

"You mean we're going to make him have naughty sex dreams about a football team!?" Willow squealed as her face began to match the color of her hair.

"Exactly!" Ethan exclaimed, "Now, he's either going to be waking up in cold sweats every night, or this might drive the macho little git out of the closet. The fun is in the mischief... well, that and tormenting him with 49ers paraphernalia."

"Alright," Willow smiled, "What do we need to cast this?"

"I already have the spell prepared, I only need the final material component."

"And that is?" Willow asked with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

"The photograph, just sign his name on the back," Ethan replied with a hint of condescension. "You see, all that primitive paranoia about photographs stealing your soul does have a small element of truth. When combined with the power of your true name."

"Really?" Willow asked, a bit put off by the idea. "You mean you can cast a spell on someone just using their picture?"

"Only very weak ones. A simple protection spell or charm will keep you safe from such low level magical trickery," Ethan said with a shrug.

"I'm surprised you're telling me this," Willow replied, "I mean you're all Mr. Prankster mage and you're telling me how to protect myself against pranks..."

Ethan laughed, "What I am telling you are things that any semi-responsible, or failing that, semi-capable mage will tell all their students. Besides," he stated with a predatory grin, "I don't use such pedestrian tricks. You'll need more than a protective charm to defend against me if you do annoy me enough to pull a prank on you..."

Willow gulped.

"Relax," Ethan winked. "Now lets go curse this bully of yours..."

Ethan calmly stood and led the girl over to his dining room table where a rune inscribed circle was already drawn. Off to the side, a note pad lay with a photograph of the 49ers sitting on top of it.

"Just follow the instructions and I'll help walk you through it if you need me."

Willow nodded. "Okay... this isn't going to be hard, is it?"

"Not at all," Ethan replied, "In fact I'd say this spell is probably below your talents."

Willow looked down at the instructions and scowled a bit. It was below her talents. It was a beginner's spell. Nothing really worth worrying about. For a moment she felt a bit insulted that he considered it necessary for her to go through with it, but she guessed he was just trying to gauge her talents.

"It's _easy_," Willow complained.

Ethan smiled, looking the girl in the eyes. "The point of this little exercise is to make you think about how much you can do with magic rather than how much magic you can use."

"I don't understand."

"This is a lesson in flexibility and application. You see, the secret to magic isn't using the largest spell for the most impressive effect, but rather, using a little power to great effect. Now do you understand."

Willow nodded, "So you're trying to show me that unconventional use of a weaker spell can sometimes have the same desired effect as a more powerful one?"

"Exactly!" Ethan exclaimed.

Willow smiled and sat down at the table. "So I guess I should start casting?"

He nodded.

Willow glanced at the pad and looked back to the circle. Quickly, she arranged the photographs inside the circle, and placed a small crystal figurine in the center.

_"By Cupid arrow and Aphrodite's will  
Bind them to my chosen as if by seams  
Let not their heart, nor soul be still.  
He shall find no rest in his dreams"_

With a flash, the two photographs were consumed by pink balefire, and the small glass ornament began to glow with an inner light.

"Is that it?" Willow asked.

"Yes," Ethan replied proudly. "We'll see what happens, Willow. The spell will run its course and end by the next full moon, or until that bauble is broken. Which ever comes first."

"So... So what now?"

Ethan sat across the table from the girl. "Now you help with this bloody substitute Slayer mess." He sighed, "Its actually a rather direct spell. Problem is I've come to a bit of a bloody difficult impasse."

"Oh?"

"Using these samples it should be rather easy to bind and activate the powers. Problem is that for a transformation spell of that caliber you need to anchor it within a physical item. Usually something related to the spell its self or what ever deity you're drawing from. It stabilizes the effect. With something like this it usually has some kind of proximity issue. If you're too far from the focus, the spell weakens. If the focus is destroyed, it ends. The difficulty here though, is that this whole Fish Man bit isn't bloody magical. Spell's going to bloody activate it."

"You mean Xander'll turn into a fish?!" Willow exclaimed.

"No, I'm going to make sure he stays human. It's what I was hired to do," Ethan replied indignity, "Problem is that if the spell anchor is destroyed or lost, the spell keeping him human will fade and he'll turn into the bloody Creature from the Black Lagoon."

Willow winced. "So how can I help? I mean, I don't want Xander turning into a fish. It was all scary the first time, and those fish men are icky..."

"What I need," Ethan interrupted, "Is an anchor that is connected to the spell itself, is unique enough to serve as a strong focus, and cannot be destroyed or removed from his person. If I can't figure this out, then I'll have to pay back the money, and considering I already spent it on this month's rent... I _really_ need to figure out this damned spell."

Willow paused for a moment. "Something connected to the spell, that's unique, and can't be removed...?"

Willow leaned back in the chair and blankly looked into space as she considered it. She needed something unique, something related to the spell, and something that could not be taken from Xander, at least not without removing the threat of that funky fish DNA.

Willow eyes widened. "Unique... Related..."

"Is there a size limit?" Willow squeaked.

Ethan sighed "No..."

"So it can be really small, and I mean can't see it small?" she happily rambled on.

"I guess so..." Ethan drawled in confusion.

"Then use the fish-man DNA as the anchor!" She exclaimed, "It can't be removed without making sure he doesn't turn into a fish! It would always be there. It could even make his powers hereditary so they carry on like a family trait! So maybe there'll always be a fish-soldier-hyena guy around, kinda like a real Slayer! He'd be really tough, really strong, and all that without the risk of the fishy bits getting out of control or the easy to lose power core!"

Ethan smiled as he began to consider what she had just said. "Willow, if you can think of a way to bind it to his genes then I will do it. You'd need something much tighter than a normal magic circle though. Any ideas, kiddo..?"

"Well, I remember reading something about Indians using henna tattoos for some physical modification charms on the internet. Here, I brought my laptop..." Willow stated and she pulled a notebook computer out of her bag. "If you let me use your phone line, I can show you the site."

Ethan smirked. He could see why Ripper liked the little redhead. The girl was a bloody genius.

------------- ------------- 

Later that night, Larry Blaisdell awoke with a gasp. Covered in perspiration, the tall football player crawled out of bed and stumbled into his bathroom.

Absent mindedly, he flicked on the lights and looked at himself in the mirror.

"Wow," he though out loud, "What a dream..."

Grabbing a washcloth, he washed his face and threw the cloth into the hamper.

As he turned off the light, and began back to his bed, he thought to himself. "I hope I have another one just like it..."

------------- ------------- 

Xander Harris had thankfully never seen the other side of the Hellmouth, but now, now he was sure he knew exactly what lay on the other side of the gateway to hell. Hell was the DMV, and Xander Harris was in hell.

He was not usually a violent person, in fact Xander really didn't like to see other people injured. Maybe a good kick in the butt everyone once in a while if they needed it, but harmed? Never. It just wasn't in his nature. The DMV though, it was evil... After two hours stuck next to a fat woman with a crying baby, and an unwashed hippy who apparently hadn't bathed since Nixon was in the White House, he could almost empathize with Angelus.

Growling, and repressing a wholly unhealthy urge to rip someone's throat out with his teeth, Xander glanced down at his ticket.

He was number 225...

Xander then glanced over to the display on the wall.

They were on number 224...

Xander for a moment, Xander could hear the angels sing out in an immaculate chorus and it felt as if his soul was being touched by the infinite grace of God. For a moment, Xander imagined that this feeling was what salvation must be like, for he felt as if his soul had been lifted from the depths of purgatory and that release from this hell was in sight, just out of reach...

With a click, the sign changed to 225. Xander exhaled a deep, near orgasmic sigh of relief as he stepped forward, cocksure and comfortable now that his torment had come to an end.

Standing before him was a black man with a lazy eye who looked totally disinterested in his job.

"What do ya want?" growled the disgruntled DMV attendant.

Xander smiled, "I need an ID."

"Replacement ID? Fill out the papers and it'll be 15 bucks..."

"No," Xander interrupted, "I need a NEW ID, _Joe_. I don't know the forms, but I heard the cost is one hundred..."

The old man's eyes narrowed, and his voice dropped. "Keep your voice down, and how the hell did you find out about that, kid?"

Xander shrugged. "Beat it out of someone."

"Could have guessed as much," the old man shrugged, "Just be back here at 5pm. Wait at the back and we'll run you through after closing."

"Alright," Xander replied.

"Good, now get the hell out of here before you cost me my fucking job."

------------- ------------- 

Giles entered his library to the sounds of someone strumming on a guitar. Smiling slightly, he continued in towards the source. He had been planning to speak to Oz on the subject of his newly found divinely inspired abilities. After doing some research, he had come to the conclusion that what was going on was simply not possible. Watcher records clearly showed that just ordination or claims of priestly status were not enough to convey a blessing. It required something more. Something unquantifiable that gave some people the strength of will to call upon the power of the heavens and left others as demon kibble.

"Hello, Oz," Giles greeted warmly.

Oz glanced up from his place reclining against the stacks. "Hey, Giles."

Giles walked over to the young man and sat across from him. "May I have a moment of your time?"

Oz nodded, "What do you need?"

"Oz, I have been looking into the nature of your newly found abilities and I must admit that I am at a bit of an impasse. From the research I have undertaken, what you're doing should be impossible."

Oz nodded and adjusted a cord. "What do you mean?"

"There have been individuals who have claimed to be clergy before who have lacked the ability to create holy water able to harm vampires, and I did come across an experiment in the 1970s about these mail in ministries..."

Oz nodded and plucked a couple of cords. "Do you have to be a priest to make holy water?"

"No," Giles replied, "Divinely inspired individuals as well as those of great faith have been shown to possess the ability."

"That must be it," Oz though out loud, "Its all about faith."

Giles raised an eyebrow. "Please, take no offence to this Oz, but you have never struck me as the religious type."

"I'm not," Oz smiled, "I'd like to think I'm the spiritual type."

"In what way?" Giles asked.

Oz smiled and lifted his guitar. "You know that angels are organized into choirs, right?"

Giles sighed and nodded, "Of course."

"Music is divine," Oz stated. "It's the language of heaven. Every time I play, I pray. When they say you got to have soul, they're being serious."

Giles paused and leaned back in thought. The young man did make an interesting point, and if it was true. If he did believe that his music was divinely inspired, and seeing how deeply interested he was in the art...

"I guess you're a Minister of Soul then," Giles remarked in amusement.

Oz smiled, "I like the sound of that..."

Giles smiled at the young man. "You have given me a great deal to think about."

Oz nodded, and smiled thinly. "Glad to hear it, man."

"I do not believe I have told you this," Giles stated, "And if I haven't then I am at fault. In the past several months you have become an important member of this group. It is just unfortunate that your taciturn nature leads people to sometime dismiss you. This is something for which I am also guilty and I apologize."

Oz nodded, "I'm just happy to help."

Giles stood up and began to leave.

"Hold on."

Giles turned back to the young musician. "Yes, Oz?"

Oz strummed at his guitar. "Giles, what kind of music do you like?"

Giles paused for a moment. "Black Sabbath, Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Lead Zeppelin, KISS, and I'm rather fond of Spinal Tap."

"The classics," Oz stated sagaciously. "Ever heard of Wyld Stallyns?"

"Not really," Giles admitted, "I lost my interest in popular music around the time Love Fist began polluting the air waves."

Oz nodded. "If you like classic metal, you'll enjoy them."

"Why did you ask?" Giles inquired.

"Their first single does a good job of saying how I feel. If you like KISS, you'll like this song."

Giles nodded and returned to his seat.

"Lets hear it," Giles replied as he absently took of his glasses and leaned forward, giving Oz his full undivided attention.

Oz nodded and began to play.

_"God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you  
Put it in the soul of everyone  
Do you know what you want? you don't know for sure  
You don't feel right, you can't find a cure  
And you're gettin' less than what you're lookin' for_

You don't have money or a fancy car  
And you're tired of wishin' on a falling star  
You gotta put your faith in a loud guitar

God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you  
Gave rock and roll to everyone  
God gave rock and roll to you, gave rock and roll to you  
Put it in the soul of everyone...

------------- ------------- 

Xander Harris tugged at his collar as he walked into the Sunnydale Ammu-Nation, his new ID in hand. He had to admit, that old man did some good work. All he did was make a completely valid duplicate ID that said he was 21 rather than 18. It gave him a way around that obnoxious little California state law that made selling handgun ammunition to anyone under age 21 a misdemeanor.

Oh sure, he could buy alcohol with it, but really, after the object lesson in the value of sobriety he liked to call mom and dad, he was not really interested in partaking of the demon liquor.

Looking around the place, the small part of him that was Soldier Guy felt like a kid in a candy store. There were weapons everywhere and he knew how to strip, clean, and operate every single one of them. In fact, it was beginning to give him ideas. Or rather, the large section dedicated to various odd and somewhat demented book subjects, such as "How to build your own Bazooka", "Kitchen Demolitions", and "Functional Home Made Silencers", gave him ideas. He almost couldn't help but laugh. Maybe he'd come back here later on and start himself his own personal guerilla library. Make the war against the undead a bit less medieval and a bit more Viet-Nam...

"How you doin' kid," stated the man behind the counter. "Is there somethin' I can help you with?"

Xander mentally inventoried what he would need. He only had one magazine for his grandfather's service pistol. He had plenty of ammo and all the mags he'd need for the 9mm he'd stolen from the army, but a cleaning kit would be good. He'd also need to invest in hollow points for it later on because they'd do more damage to a vamp than normal FMJ round.

"Yeah," Xander replied. "I need two magazines Colt M1911. I'll also want five hundred rounds 45 Automatic. Hollow points if you have them.. Oh, and a gun cleaning kits for .45 caliber and 9mm."

"Sure thing kid," the owner stated as he searched for the requested items behind the counter.

The shop owner began rummaging around, pulling out two huge boxes of bullets, the two magazines, and the two cleaning kits. Running them off through the bar code scanner. Xander could not help but wince as he saw the price grow. After paying Ethan Rayne for that spell and investing in the fake ID, this was going to wipe him out. He was not going to be taking Cordy out for the next couple weeks, that was for sure. Still, it was worth the investment.

"Alrighty. What's the damage."

"$139.60" The owner stated. "Now, lets see some ID."

Xander sighed and handed him his newly fudged state driver's license.

The owner nodded, and handed it back to him. "Looks to be in order."

Xander nodded and emptied his wallet, giving the owner a rather thick wad of twenty dollar bills.

Taking the money, the owner quickly gave him his change, receipt, and handed Xander the ammo and other gun related items.

"Have a nice day now, ya hear?

------------- ------------- 

Cordelia Chase sighed in frustration as she waited in line to buy a Mocha. Cordelia was a girl who could comfortably admit that there were many things in this world she just hated. She hated vampires, she hated those fashion disaster shirts Xander was always wearing, she really hated the IRS, but right now, the thing she hated most was waiting in line to give her damn order.

"Hi, how can I help you," the seemingly disinterested register jockey drawled.

"I'd like a Mocha," Cordelia harshly stated.

"That will be four dollars," the server replied.

Cordy began digging through her purse. She knew she had a ten so this would be easy to cover. Once she fond her money clip though, she was disappointed to discover that the ten was actually three ones. Knowing she didn't have any change she reached for her credit card but winced as if she'd been struck when she remember that her credit cards had all been canceled.

Stupid IRS. Stupid daddy.

"I'm short," She snarled, hating the feeling of not having enough money.

"Well, sorry then," her server stated, obviously not giving a damn, "Next please."

Cordelia hung her head in defeat. Oh how the mighty have fallen, she reflected with some venom. She felt like a bum. In fact, she could just hear the rumors now. Cordelia Chase kicked out of the Espresso Pump because she couldn't even afford a damned mocha...

"Hold on," a man said behind her.

Cordelia turned around to find a guy rummaging through his wallet. Pulling out a five spot, he smiled, " I'll cover it."

For a moment, Cordelia felt even more humiliated. Here she was, Cordelia Chase, having to accept the hand-outs of complete strangers like some kind of beggar. Still, she thought, the guy was cute. Sure, he was dressed a bit like a dork and he defiantly needed to go to a stylist. Though, she reflected, she was dating Xander Harris, a man who's fashion sense should be illegal, so this stranger was not all bad.

"Thanks."

"No problem," the mystery man replied with a smile, and a cute one at that. "By the way, my name is John. John Myers."

Cordelia smirked and paid for her coffee. "Cordelia Chase."

He nodded and glanced to the server, "Large coffee, two crawlers."

The girl behind the counter nodded, "Seven fifty."

He paid and offered one of the pastries to Cordelia.

Guy defiantly wanted to have coffee with her. Not a bad looking guy, and defiantly had that brainy mature thing going without looking old, but she had a boyfriend though.

Cordy shrugged. What the hell, it would be nice to talk with someone normal. Someone who was not knee deep in things that went bump in the night, and who wasn't an immature jerk like all her so called friends from school. Or at least the non-slaying ones.

She growled to herself as she remember how that bleach blond bitch Harmony had referred to her as poor. To her face. In front of all their friends. For that one, oh, Cordelia almost hoped that someone turned her just so she could have the privilege of ramming a stake into the bitch's blackened heart!

"Ah, are you okay?" John asked, breaking her train of thought.

"Sorry," Cordy smiled falsely, "Something unpleasant just came to mind."

Cordelia took a deep breath and accepted the crawler. Not her favorite, but beggars cant be choosers. She paused, winced, and wished that she could find the person who made up that vile cliché so she could kick them in the ass. It just hit too damn close to home.

Walking with Myers, they sat in a booth with a view of the street.

"So," she asked, starting off the conversation, "What brings you to Sunnydale"

He shrugged, "A couple of things. Favor for a friend, he asked me to look up an uncle of his who's gone missing..."

Cordelia visibly winced. There were a lot of disappearances in Sunnydale due to the towns rather... "unique" population. This guy seemed to be nice. She hoped that he didn't get himself killed.

Myers' eyes narrowed slightly when he saw her reaction, but he continued speaking as if he'd missed it. "I've also gotten a job at the local university teaching a couple of night classes..."

Cordelia visibly winced. Christ, was this moron _trying_ to get eaten by vampires?

"Listen," she interrupted, "Be careful around here at night. There are a lot of... gangs... on PCP... who hang around at night. They're really dangerous."

Myer's raised an eyebrow. "I see... Thanks for the heads up."

"Oh yeah," she added, "Don't invite anyone into your house. It's a local superstition. If you want to let someone in, just step to the side."

John slowly nodded.

Cordelia shrugged self-consciously, "Listen, I think its silly too, but you'll annoy some people if you do..."

"Okay," John replied clearly, "Gangs on PCP, don't invite anyone into your house. Should I start wearing a cross?"

"It wouldn't hurt," Cordy replied with an absolute deadpan.

John laughed. "Okay, so tell me about you."

Cordy took a deep breath and began, "I just want to get this out now, I have a boyfriend."

John sighed, and dramatically lamented. "Why do all the cute ones always have boyfriends?"

Cordy smirked at being called cute, but said, "If you want to call it quits..."

"Nah," John said with a smirk, raising his hand disarmingly. "Just kidding around. I have no problem with friends. Besides, you're a little young for me anyways. What are you? Twenty? Twenty-one??"

Cordelia flushed ever so slightly at the idea of a cute older guy thinking she looked mature. "I'm Seventeen, though I'll be turning 18 next month. Though really, how is that young for you? You can't be over, what, twenty-three? Twenty-four?"

"I'm twenty-seven..." John deadpanned.

Cordelia blinked. Holy crap. For a guy pushing thirty he looked young.

"So," John said after a moment of awkward silence, "Are you still in high-school?"

"Yeah," Cordelia replied, "I'm starting my senior year."

John nodded. "Any plans for after high-school?"

"I'm thinking LA. I want to become an actress," she replied.

"No college?" John asked.

"I don't think I could afford it," Cordelia admitted.

"You never know," John replied, "Though I think you'd make a good actress. You have the look for it."

Cordelia beamed. "Thanks."

"So what school do you..." John trailed off as his cellphone began to ring.

Cordelia smirked. "La Cucaracha?"

John shrugged and glanced at his phone.

"Listen, I have to take this call... It's the friend I was talking about."

Cordelia nodded, "I understand."

"You want to hang out again some time? Its good to know someone when you're new to the area," he quickly asked.

Cordy nodded. "Sure, why not?"

"Here," He quickly wrote down his number. "Give me a call."

"Cool," Cordy replied, "And thanks for the Mocha!"

John nodded, and stepped out the door, Coffee in one hand, cell phone in the other.

"Bye!"

"See ya!" Cordelia shrugged. "Nice guy, a bit dorky, but a nice guy..."

------------- ------------- 

"Yeah HB, what is it?"

"How's the mission going, Myers? Found him yet?"

"I just settled in! Christ, Red, I'm still getting used to the weather. Hold your horses, okay man?"

"Sorry, I'm just a bit anxious, that's all."

"No problem, and I do think I found a lead."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I met this girl..."

"Picking up chicks on company time? You dog you!"

"Oh grow up, HB, she's only 17..."

"Ah, John..."

"Yes?"

"You know that's kinda... illegal. Right?"

"Hellboy..."

"Yeah, John?"

"Shut up."

"Okay..."

"..."

"..."

"So, about this lead?"

"That girl that I met, she knows about the towns paranormal activity."

"You sure?"

"Considering she warned be about 'gangs on PCP', told me not to invite anyone into my house, and recommended that I wear a cross, yes, I'm pretty sure."

"Good find, Myers! So tell me about this under aged girlfriend of yours."

"She has a boyfriend..."

"Never saw you as the other man type... Must be moral decay without my good example."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"Ya just did, Johnny."

"Is there a point to this phone call, or are you just board?"

"Err... Well, Liz is out and..."

"That's it, isn't it! You're just board. You really need to get out more."

"Hey! Screw you, Myers."

"I'm going to hang up now..."

"Hold on, buddy! Just do me a favor and keep an eye on this girl okay?"

"I'm not a spy."

"I know that, you're not a prick either. That's why I asked you to take this mission. Give me a name and I'll have them look up what ever we have on this girl of yours."

"Alright, HB. Her name is Cordelia Chase."

"Thanks. I'll see what we can come up with. Talk to you later man. My second lunch just got here."

"Later, HB."

"See ya, Myers."

------------- ------------- 

"Xander," Giles stated as aforementioned young man entered his library, "My friend Duncan just called about your sword."

"Already?" Xander asked, "I thought it had to be sent to Paris and all that."

"No," Giles replied, "Fortunately he was staying at his home in Seacouver."

"I see," Xander replied with a laugh, "So, what's the prognosis?"

"The sword," Giles began, "Is a mass production weapon built for Japanese officers during the war. He says for a mass production sword it is of relatively good quality, but you could buy better from a good catalogue."

"Oh well," Xander laughed, "No going all Seven Samurai on the local Vamp problem, I guess."

"Duncan has offered to take it off your hands for several hundred dollars," Giles mentioned.

"My grandfather brought it home from the war," Xander replied, "It wouldn't be right to sell it."

Giles nodded, "I had guessed as much."

"I think I'll hang it on my wall," Xander thought to himself. "Maybe over my bed, just in case something nasty gets into the house..."

------------- ------------- 

"I have coffee," Fox Mulder announced as he walking into the apartment that he was sharing with his two fellow agents on this operation.

"Thanks," Dana remarked as she continued to breeze through some esoteric text.

Dana took a sip of her coffee and smiled. Black, just how she liked it.

"So, what are you reading?" Mulder asked his old FBI partner.

"Professor Bruttenholm's analysis of Vampire hunting behavior," She replied calmly. "It is really quite interesting."

Fox smirked. "You know, Scully, if I had told you six months ago that you'd be reading a report on Vampires and taking it seriously, you'd have thought I was out of my mind."

"I'm sorry, I went to the FBI academy to learn how to keep little old ladies safe, not how to properly meet and great with something I thought existed only in comic books," Dana quipped with a thin smile.

"Speaking of that," Mulder laughed, "I still remember the look on your face when they introduced us to Hellboy and Abe. I swore you were about to pass out."

"At least I didn't stare at his horns," Scully replied.

"Yeah," Mulder stated with a grin, "You were too busy showing Abe your gold-fish imitations. Really, I'm surprised the whole thing didn't short out your brain."

"Actually," she replied, "I found it quite comforting, once I'd finished... processing all that I'd seen."

"Really?" Fox asked sitting across from her, "How so?"

Dana placed her report down and glanced at her partner. "My complaint with the concept of the paranormal has always been the idea that there are things out there are able to ignore basic physical law. All this has done is open my mind to the fact that there are laws that govern reality that modern science does not commonly perceive. Working within this _expanded_ model, things such as vampires, demons, and magic can exist inside the realm of logical possibility."

Mulder smirked. "You say that, but you still call me crazy?"

"Well, you see Mulder," Scully replied with a grin, "You are crazy. And thanks for the coffee. Where did you get it?"

"Place called the Espresso Pump. Myers recommended it."

"Ah, I see," Scully said as she returned to her report.

Glancing at his partner, Mulder grabbed his own cup of coffee and sat on the couch, reaching for the remote. He could only wonder, did they get the Playboy Channel?

------------- ------------- 

Xander smiled to himself as he stalked though the alley ways of Sunnydale. According to Willow, she and Ethan were on the brink of finishing up the preparation for the spell that would turn him into a substitute Slayer

Soon, there would be no more need for all this half-assed late night stalking. He'd be a full fledged Slayer type person, able to kick vampire ass. No more walking around in the middle of the night trying to trick a vampire into attacking him. He'd be the predator looking for vampires.

He almost couldn't wait. It would be his chance to kick some ass...

Xander spun at the sound of a foot on pavement, but was quickly disarmed and thrown onto his ass.

"Didn't anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? It's all about fun and games until someone looses an eye."

Xander's jaw dropped as he looked at the petite from standing before him. He could not help it as he was hit with a wave of conflicting emotions. Anger that she had the nerve to talk shit after leaving them to do all the work for three months. Abandonment that she'd just left them to die. Relief that his friend was still alive. And finally, a hit of depression that the substitute Slayer was no longer needed.

The real thing was back in town. 


	3. Chapter 3

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 3: Zeppo No Longer  
By PsyckoSama

**November 1998, Sunnydale, California. **

Xander could not believe it. He just could not fucking believe it. That son of a bitch had gone too far. He understood that Ethan was a mercenary mage. In fact, he'd capitalized on that fact just the pervious summer in an attempt to make up for Buffy's absence. Of course, that hadn't panned out, as by the time the spell had been completed, Buffy was off the MIA list, and Faith had already shown up. His enhancements were frankly, not needed.

Not needed. For a moment Xander's rage was replaced with an empty sensation. They didn't really need him, did they? With Buffy and Faith to slay, they'd never need a substitute Slayer so the spell had just been an academic exercise. As for the others, Giles's was the Watcher, Willow the witch, and even Oz was the man with soul. What did Xander do? He got the donuts.

Still, regardless of his own defenselessness, Xander was man enough to clean up after himself, and he personally considered Mr. Ethan Rayne to be a big pile of shit sitting in his back yard for swift disposal. He could not believe he'd been stupid enough to trust the man, and not only with his own safety, but with Willow. Christ. What had that psychotic been teaching Willow?

He just still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that the son of a bitch actually had the nerve to take a job for the Mayor. How had the bastard sold it to him? Yes, Mr. Rayne, you get to cause a lot of chaos because I need to feed babies to a giant snake? Yeah, motherfucker gonna die. Simply put.

Xander snarled and he felt under his jacket. The cold cool steel of his weapon pressed up against his side. He was going to handle this very simply. Walk up to the bastard, and shoot him in the head. There was going to be no mercy. He knew Buffy would not understand, same with Willow. Oz might, and he had a feeling that Giles would probably be considering it himself. The idea that he was seriously heading out to end a human life, sickened him. But honestly the fact that the man would help a monster like the Mayor feed _babies_ to a _ giant snake_ was enough to take him out of the human list and put him someplace else entirely. It was something a Vamp would do, and they didn't have souls, so what was Ethan's excuse?

There was no excuse. He had to die.

"Hey, kid..."

Xander paused and turned around, his internal ranting, and long march to the candy factory interrupted by a spiky haired fellow in a denim jacket. Anywhere else, he'd say 80s reject. In Sunnydale, definite neck-biter.

"Listen Vamp," Xander hissed, "If you want me to dust you, then bother me later. I've got places to be."

The vampire smiled, and shifted into his game face. "Nah, I'd say this is more important."

With a sigh, Xander drew his pistol. "Last chance to fuck off, fang face."

The Vamp only smirked. "You can't kill a vampire with a gun..."

"No, you can't," Xander stated. "But you can sure slow one down."

To prove his point, he fired two shots into the vamp's knees. With a high scream of agony, the demon fell forward, holding its destroyed joints. With an impassive face, Xander stepped forward, and almost casually staked the blood sucker.

Glancing at the pistol, Xander had to admit that the hand-cannon did its job rather effectively. The .45 was not the longest range weapon, but it fired a really big bullet that could do bad things, even to a vamp, when properly placed. This was his first time taking the weapon out, as Willow was never comfortable with it, Buffy seemed to have an irrational dislike of weapons created after 1400 AD, and he had been afraid of attracting the attention of the cops.

Xander shrugged as he continued to walk. At least this bullshit had one good side, the cops were too busy enjoying their second childhoods to pull him in. He'd been able to see his gun in action, and it worked. He'd have to see about a silencer. Maybe ask for a mail order catalogue from Paladin Press?

Xander slipped into his own game face as he saw the candy factory in the distance. Of course his game face was less brow, eyes, and teeth, and more dead set conviction, but the comparison was applicable.

"We want candy! We want candy! We want candy!" the crowd of adults cried as they circled the factory.

Xander just ignored them. He had better things to do. Like shooting evil chaos mages.

It took him several minutes to force his way to the front through the crowd. Luckily, the door was already unlocked, and by unlocked he meant the lock was no longer a lock. It was an unidentifiable mass. It was an unlock. Definitely of the Buffster's special touch.

As he entered the building, he felt a bit overwhelmed, and an entirely new pang of anger. At any other time, entering this building, this... temple to chocolate, would have been almost a holy pilgrimage. Xander seriously doubted that after all this bullshit he'd be able to really enjoy eating a Milkbar again for a long while, if ever. That alone was almost enough to make him want to put a bullet into the son of a bitch on general principle.

With a growl of frustration, he swatted a box of chocolates off of a table, scattering the contents over the floor.

"Who's there?" exclaimed a limey voice from behind one of the many candy-making machines that filled the structure's contents.

Xander smiled. The bastard had just saved him the trouble of looking for him.

Purposefully, he stormed over to the Englishman's location, venting his frustrations of everything that lay in his path.

"Bloody hell, Xander!" Ethan exclaimed as the young man stepped into his line of sight. "You gave me a one hell of a scare!"

Xander sneered as he looked over the mage. The fool was handcuffed to one of the machines, and his face looked like it had gone ten rounds with a refrigerator door and lost. Once again, definitely of the Buffster's special touch.

Without a word, Xander drew the pistol from his coat and aimed it at the Chaos mage.

------------- ------------- 

Oh bloody hell!

A chill went up Ethan's spine as he looked at the young man before him. Honestly, he did not know what scared him more, the Ripperesque look in his eyes, the large caliber hand gun pointed at his head, or perhaps it was the combination of the two...

"What the hell are you doing?" he exclaimed backing up as far as his handcuffs would allow.

"I'm going to kill you." Xander stated simply as he pulled back the hammer on the gun, causing a chill to run down Ethan's back.

Ethan blinked. He knew he caused quite the bit of trouble with this Milkbar caper, and something had a bee in the Slayer's bonnet, but that was no reason to kill him. "What the bloody hell for?"

"Anyone who'd sacrifice babies to a demon deserves to die. It's worse than being a vamp. At least they don't have souls, what's your excuse?"

Ethan's eyes bugged in horror. Was this kid eating paint chips? Babies? Sacrificing babies? What the bloody fucking hell was this bloody arse talking about? He'd done a good number of bastardly things in his life, but one place Ethan always drew the line quite boldly was human sacrifice. He was never THAT big a bastard, and babies, he'd never sacrifice babies to a demon... only a complete monster would even consider it.

At that moment, Ethan's stomach just turned. A monster like the mayor would do it... The tribute, it was fucking babies, wasn't it.

"Oh bloody fucking hell..." Ethan muttered as his face turned a rather unique shade of green, "The mayor's bloody tribute was BABIES?"

"Do you seriously expect me to believe you didn't know?"

Ethan glanced up. He felt bloody old, and like he'd been crammed through the emotional ringer. First, he had a gun pointed at his head. Second, he felt like he was going to be sick, having just discovered he was an accessory to sacrificing children to a demon. And lastly, he was bloody offended that this little git thought that he'd known about the sacrifice. Though honestly, he couldn't fault him.

"All I was told was that they needed a distraction to collect the tribute. They said I'd get to cause some chaos and they'd pay me for it..."

Xander glanced at him levelly. "And you never thought to ask?"

"Honestly, it never crossed my mind..." Ethan shrugged, "Not every day a public official lets you have some sanctioned fun."

"You're an idiot, aren't you," Xander growled in frustration and anger.

"We all have our moments..." Ethan replied.

Xander sneered and lowered the gun. "Being an idiot isn't a capitol crime, no matter how much it should be..."

The Chaos Mage sighed in relief at the fact that he was no longer slated for execution, and then looked up to the young man with a tired smile on his face. "Well, all this considered, I must say that this was a bit of a cock up..."

Xander scoffed. "We're talking feeding babies to demons. That goes a bit beyond the pale..."

Ethan scowled. "Yes, and that does beg the question as to why you are here..."

"I thought we already went over that one," Xander growled menacingly, patting his handgun against his leg.

"No, you bloody tit," Ethan exclaimed, "I mean why are you here bothering me when you should be off helping your little Slayer," he mocked.

"Because I'm no help!" Xander replied, free to take his frustration and anger out on the Chaos Mage. "I'm just the fucking Donut Boy." He finished, crestfallen.

Ethan's jaw dropped. Had this boy lost his mind? The Chaos Mage could not help but contrast this with the do or die youth who kicked in his door hefting a battle axe those many months ago. That young man had been a leader, ready to do almost anything to protect the world from the local nasties, even to the point of contracting a Chaos Mage, abet one of masterful talents and abilities with unparalleled skill in the arts of transformative magic, to turn him into a Slayer-like superhuman. He could not believe this self-described _Donut Boy_ was the same teenager.

A vicious gleam slowly came to his eyes as he decided upon a plan. Ethan had been very disappointed when they'd backed out of the spell. It had evolved beyond just being a project he'd been paid to cast, and become something of a personal investment. They had asked him for a Slayer and a Slayer he would give, in more ways than would be obvious. When the young man had declined the transformation, it had been like kicking the wind out of him. A man only gets so many opportunities for true immortality, and this very well could be his. He had to tread carefully of course, lest the youth before him put a bullet in his head, but what was life without risk?

"Donut Boy?" Ethan replied incredulously, "Where did you come up with that?"

"I'm the one who gets the donuts." Xander sighed and leaned back against a steel support. "I can't bless things like Oz. I'm no good at magic..."

Ethan smiled. He remembered that bit of chaos with the love-spell gone wrong. While he'd not seen the results close up, he saw some of them from a distance. If you asked him, the young man had gotten that spell _just right... _

Continuing, Xander added, "...I don't know anything about Demons, like Giles, and I'm not a Slayer..."

"You could be," Ethan cut in.

"What?" Xander replied.

"I finished the spell," Ethan stated with smug self-assurance. "You only need ask and you will be as powerful as a Slayer."

"But, we don't need a Slayer. We have a Slayer..." he paused, "Two Slayers, actually..."

"Yes," Ethan spelled out, as if talking to a small child, "And its better to have two Slayers than one, isn't it?"

Xander nodded.

"Then it should be even better to have three. Besides, if anything ever happened to any of your friends because you weren't strong enough to help, and the reason you weren't strong enough was because you didn't take this opportunity... could you forgive yourself?"

Xander sighed. "No I couldn't."

"Then I see no reason for you not to undergo this transformation," Ethan clearly stated.

"Ah, I think the threat of turning into a Fish Demon or being possessed by the Hyena spirit would count as reasons..." Xander deadpanned.

"I know a spell that can turn a man into a Fyarl Demon for Christ's sake." Ethan exclaimed, "Now, I will not lie to you and say it is without risk, but most of the difficulty in this spell was purely academic and has been dealt with."

"And what problem was that?" Xander drawled, "I have a feeling it involves either me becoming Hyena-guy or sprouting gills..."

Ethan shrugged and glanced at him. "Gills, and its been solved. Really, it's a complex issue, but with the assistance of Willow, who I must say is a brilliant girl and a true pleasure to teach, it has been _solved_."

"Are you sure about this," Xander repeated.

Ethan sighed, "I am a _professional_. If I wasn't sure then I wouldn't have recommended that you undergo the transformation." He skipped a beat, "Besides, if I bugger it up, the Slayer'll have my head over her mantle. And really, what's the greater risk, a single spell or a lifetime of hunting the nightmares that go bump in the night as a mere mortal."

Xander chucked darkly, "You know what they say about vampire slaying, its all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye..."

"If you don't lose your head first," Ethan quipped, "Besides, your little lady friend seemed to be rather sure of it."

"Alright," Xander conceded, "I get your point... I'll do it. Turn me into Slayer-Man."

"Actually," Ethan remarked with a grin, "I was thinking in the lines of 'Demon Hunter, myself."

"Xander the Demon Hunter," Xander frowned, "Sounds kind of silly."

"At least itn't 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer'. I mean really, what kind of sadist names their child 'Buffy'?"

"Well, I've heard that he is a real douche," Xander though aloud.

Ethan smirked slightly. He personally chalked it up to the fact that the mother was a total bloody twit, at least as a youth, but he had a feeling voicing that opinion would not be a decision that would help ensure his continued physical health.

"Either way, 'Xander the Demon Hunter' sounds marginally less likely to be the name of a bad teenage television drama, wouldn't you agree?"

"Okay, okay, I get your point," the teenager sighed, "Xander the 'Demon Hunter' it is."

"Glad that you're capable of seeing reason." Ethan said with a wide grin that quickly faded. "Now, I don't suppose you would be so kind as to release me?"

------------- ------------- 

Xander felt rather anxious as they entered Ethan's apartment. To say he was nervous would be an understatement. Really, he was beginning to doubt his own sanity. Here he was following a strange older man into his apartment who was going to do strange things to him. God, there were probably tons of gay porn movies that started this way.

"Alright, " Ethan remarked as he began to pull out supplies from his closet. "I'll need you to take off your clothes," he remarked as he pulled out a set of manacles.

Yeah, this was defiantly starting to look like a porno shoot...

"Okay, I'm so out of here."

Ethan scowled and looked him in the eyes. "What, are you getting cold feet?"

"What's with the chains and the nudity?" Xander stammered, "I mean, all you need to do is pull out a video camera and start playing 'Boom Chicka Now Wow' music and you could have a gay porn movie going on here...

"You're right. Never thought of that." Ethan chuckled, "If I ever do something like this again, I'll make sure to remember that."

"You're a very sick person, Ethan."

"Why thank you very much, Xander."

"Now could you please remind me again why I'm here," Xander paused, "And more importantly why you need me naked and in chains?"

"Well, you're here to get the strength needed to protect your loved ones," Ethan stated, "And as for the nudity and chains, it looks better on film."

"WHAT?!" Xander exclaimed.

"Today's youth, so easy to manipulate." Ethan smiled and shook his head, "The nudity is because the ritual requires me to draw detailed and intricate runes over most of your body, something I am not looking forward to, believe you me. As for the chains, they are for my protection. We do not know how you will react in the first few moments after the casting. You could pass out, you could be just fine, or you could slip into a temporary psychotic rage that drives you to kill everything in sight. I don't know, and frankly, I'm not willing to take the risk."

"Alright," Xander acquiesced, "But no funny business," he stated as he wagged his finger at Chaos Mage.

"I just don't know. I might not be able to resist your sexy young body," Ethan drolled as he rolled his eyes dramatically.

Xander scowled.

"Just take your clothes off," Ethan growled, "and please, feel free to keep your bloody wedding tackle out of my face."

"Alright, things to take off my to-do list: tea bag Ethan Rayne."

Ethan glared at him, then he cracked a smile. "And the Donut Boy Strikes Back."

Xander grinned as he began unbuttoning his shirt. "I'm not going to be the Donut Boy much longer."

"I know," Ethan responded, "And every night when you're beating vampires to death with their own dismembered limbs, I'd like you to reflect for just a moment about who made this all possible."

Xander pulled his shirt off and started on the belt. "How about I don't."

"Today's youth, so disrespectful," Ethan lamented.

"Like you were any better?" Xander asked with a level glare as he kicked off his shoes.

"Actually," Ethan reflected, "I was a good deal worse. Now, keep your kegs on."

Xander blinked, "My what?"

"You're underpants," Ethan sighed, "I'd like to keep from having to look at your bullocks for as long as is humanly possible."

Xander nodded. "Good, I'd like to avoid showing them to you as long as humanly possible."

"Nice to find something we can agree on," Ethan stated with a shrug, "Now feel free to turn on the telly, this will take some time and we all know how easily bored you kids can be. Last thing I need is your bloody leg jiggling or such tripe."

Xander nodded and picked up the remote.

"Woo, Sex in the Suburbs!"

"No. Bloody. Way," Ethan growled.

Xander blinked, "But there's nudity and breastisis..."

"I know, which is why you're not going to be watching it," Ethan stated, as if speaking to a child.

"But..." Xander whimpered.

Looking Xander in the eyes, Ethan calmly stated. "No way in hell am I going to be able to do this with your bloody tadger standing at attention."

"Alright," Xander agreed, "Point."

Ethan nodded and pulled out a pot of foul smelling paste and a brush, "Now you're going to have to hold still."

"Alright," Xander replied as he changed the channel.

_"Okay, and now we're going to take this here croc and poke 'em with a stick!" _

"Oh, cool," Xander exclaimed, "It's that Crocodile Hunter guy."

"You know," Ethan remarked as he began painting the paste on to Xander's body, "I heard rumors that he's actually a K'thras Demon."

Xander blinked "What's a Kiss-Ass Demon and why would you say he's one of them?"

"_K'thras_ Demon," Ethan corrected, "They're a breed that can pass as human, and they're almost completely indestructible. You can dismember them sure, but you can't actually kill the buggers with anything short of cremation."

"Damn," Xander winced, "Glad there aren't any of them around here..."

"Actually," Ethan replied, "There are quite a few. They just tend to be the live and let live sort. Crazy blighters, but as harmless as a puppy."

"Still, why do you think he's one of them?"

_"Oh crikey! Me arm's off! Me bloody arm's off! Stop that croc! Someone stop that bloody croc before he swims off with me bloody arm!"_

Ethan just smirked triumphantly.

Xander blinked and then glanced at Ethan, "Yeah, I can see it..."

"Good," Ethan remarked, "Now change the channel."

"Why?"

"Because, the last thing we need is you laughing while I'm trying to paint these runes on," Ethan grinned, "That is, unless, you don't actually _mind_ gills."

Xander changed the channel and scowled, "Pleasantville?"

"I used to love that show as a child," Ethan thought aloud. "Thought that's the way everyone in America lived."

"If it was, then I would have moved to England," Xander deadpanned, "Even the land of tweed has to be better than that."

"Remember," Ethan remarked, "England is also the country that brought you the Beatles and Punk Rock."

"Great," Xander replied in the most snarky way possible, "We have you to blame for Spike's dress sense. First the Tea Tax and now this..."

Ethan grinned, "I'm almost starting to like you, kid."

Xander changed the channel and sighed. "Ah great, FYI..."

Ethan wretched. "Turn it off. I can't stand that Murphy Brown bint."

"I don't know," Xander thought out loud, "She's pretty good looking for an older woman. Definite MILF material."

Ethan scoffed. "You can keep her. Now Corky on the other hand, she's one bird I wouldn't say no to a quick shag from."

"I don't know," Xander reflected, "I've always liked strong women and you have to admit Murphy has a great rack."

"True, but her voice would send me screaming into the night," Ethan countered, "Besides, if I'm not mistaken, only one of her knockers is real."

"Hey now," Xander snipped, "She had cancer, okay?"

Ethan shrugged, "Doesn't matter."

"It's not fair," Xander countered.

"What does fair have to do with it?" Ethan countered. "We're talking about who we'd like to shag, and I find the whole real breast, fake breast thing to be a bit of a turn off."

"Alright, alright..." Xander sighed, "Almost done yet?"

"Not yet. Drop your knicks."

Xander winced. He just had to open his big mouth.

Without complaint, Xander dropped his drawers.

"Popular with the ladies, are we?" Ethan smirked, "At least there's something you don't need to have enhanced."

Xander blushed deeply. "You mean they actually have a spell for that?!" Xander squeaked.

"Of course," Ethan remarked, "They came up with it before they figured out how to make their own fire. You have to give those cavemen credit for one thing, they had their priorities straight."

"And you know this spell?" Xander asked.

"Know it?" Ethan laughed, "I've used it, and I'll tell you what, the birds love it."

Xander blushed even more deeply, "Could you... ah..."

"Use it on you?" Ethan scoffed, "Not going to happen."

"Hey! Why not?" Xander exclaimed.

"Well," Ethan replied, glancing down, "I could use it, but I can just see the headlines now."

Xander blinked. "Headlines?"

Waving his hand as if reading a headline, Ethan said, "Sunnydale Attacked by 50 Foot Trouser-Snake..."

"Okay, okay..." Xander relented.

"Good," Ethan chirped, "Now that we don't have to worry about turning you into a Shikima Demon, let's carry on"

Xander blinked. "What's a Shit-Keno Demon?"

"Trust me, kid," Ethan deadpanned, "You don't want to know."

"Hey," Xander growled, "I asked didn't I?"

Ethan rolled his eyes, "Trust me that in this case ignorance is bliss... but since you insist." He looked Xander in the eyes and smiled, "You ever see any of those abhorrent Japanese cartoons with the naughty tentacle monsters?"

"Yeah," Xander replied, "One of the guys I game with, Andrew, has a few tentacle hentai movies. Why?"

"Well," Ethan grinned darkly, "There is a grain of truth to every story."

"Ahh... errr..." Xander stammered, "I mean Christ! You can't be serious!"

"Afraid I am. Shikima are sexually deviant demons with several prehensile, tentacle-like phalluses with a penchant for young human females," Ethan stated with a clinical tone and a shit eating grin.

Xander sneered as if smelling something unpleasant. "Okay, I give up. Next time you say that I don't want to know, I don't want to know, because I really didn't want to know this... Hey, what's the chances of one of these... things showing up around here?"

"Nil," Ethan replied, "They tend to congregate to the Edo Hellmouth, and their lifespan when they enter our dimension is usually measured in hours. Poor self control and they're not too difficult to kill. Usually go nuts the first time they see school girls and end up being put down by a local demon hunter. No real threat, as long as you're not a nubile young woman, that is."

"Great, another new piece to add to my usual nightmares." Xander muttered to himself, "Just what I needed to replace the clowns."

"Relax, son." Ethan said in a paternal voice, "If you didn't have nightmares living around here you'd have to be either clinically insane or pure evil."

"I know I sleep like a baby," Ethan chirped.

Xander rolled his eyes. "You know, how about we forget you ever mentioned this and we just do this ritual before I start to sleep well at night, okay?"

Ethan grinned and started walking with Xander following behind. Calmly he stalked over to the extra bedroom door and let the youth in. Inside was a simple pentacle drawn onto the hard concrete floor.

"Lie down in the circle, and I'll chain you up. After that I don't want to hear a peep out of you because I'll need to concentrate."

Xander nodded and did as he was told. Without comment, Ethan began to chain him up, rendering him unable to move from the confines of the circle. He then calmly placed the three ingredients of the ritual, the hair, the rifle, and the skin, into smaller circles connected to the larger one. Finally, he lit a series of candles that bordered the ritual circle and knelt down before it.

Drawing a knife, he cut open his palms and began to chant, ritualistically smearing the blood onto his forehead and eyelids as he went.

_"The world that denies thee, thou inhabit.  
The peace that ignores thee, thou corrupt.  
Chaos. I remain, as ever, thy faithful, degenerate son."_

Looking up at Xander, he began to focus on the transformative items and began to chant.

_"Janus, the two faced one, lord of chaos, master of portals, god of change, I implore thee.  
Make what was once be made again.  
Make that which is human, become something more."_

Xander began to twitch as he felt the runes begin to grow warm against his skin.

_"With the spirit of the soldier,  
Born from thy power,  
Let him be a master of war.  
May this rifle, be thy guide!"_

Xander bit down as the heat flared, burning into his flesh without causing injury. He felt his head begin to swim as he was struck by a wave of excruciating vertigo.

_"With the spirit of the Hyena,  
Born of deepest Africa,  
Let him be leader of the pack,  
May this fur be thy guide!"_

Xander thrashed, trying to lurch up and away from the pain as it seemed to increase exponentially. The burning from the runes ceased to be localized, but instead it felt like it had infected every nerve ending in his body. His disorientation became even worse has he felt his own grasp on reality fade into the primal terror of what was happening to him.

In his last few seconds of lucidity he began to claw and pull at the chains, doing all that he could to escape the maddening pain of the ritual.

_"With the Flesh of the Gill Man,  
Born of the depths of the human mind,  
Let him be the most deadly of hunters,  
May this skin be thy guide!"_

Xander could do nothing but scream now, as every nerve ending in his body exploded in agony. He was no longer even able to thrash, as every muscle in his body decided to cramp up at once, locking him into a position of pure inhuman torment. Thankfully, what little remained of his conscious mind decided that this would be a good time to call it quits, and he happily slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

------------- ------------- 

Xander groaned as his blissful oblivion gave way to the harsh and painful world. Turning over where he lay, he curled into a ball and tried desperately to get a grip on how he felt. His wrists were sore, his skin itched, his throat felt like he'd screamed it raw, and he felt overwhelmed with sensory information.

To say that the ritual had been unpleasant would be an understatement. He just wanted to find somewhere to curl up and whimper until he recovered. He felt like a kicked puppy, and really, he could do nothing until he recovered his balance. Engaging the enemy in this state would be dangerous. He knew that there was no way for him to hunt while he felt like this. He'd be the one that ended up prey.

Xander blinked, his eyes being assaulted by the bright light.

Engage the enemy? Hunt? Prey? He'd never thought like that before!

Taking a deep breath, he began to look inwards, and honestly, he was surprised at what he felt. While Soldier Guy had been a constant presence in his mind since Halloween, he had been more of a shadow than anything solid. Xander had always been able to roughly access his memories, and his skills but they'd always been somewhat foreign. Now though, it was like he had lived a double life. He shuddered as he personally remembered the horrors of war, the chaos of combat, and the nightmares of the Killing Fields. He could taste the blood, smell the gunpowder, and hear the screams of the wounded and the dieing, and feel the fear of battle threaten to numb his senses and sap his courage. Soldier Guy was no more. Xander was Soldier Guy.

Xander shuddered as he felt another recognizable presence at the back of his mind. He knew it well, because it had been a nightmare to him. It was the Alpha. The Primal spirit that had possessed him after that one fateful trip to the Zoo. Before it had been like a vamp, casting aside all morality, and engaging in only its own primal desire. Now though, he could feel its needs, its desires, the most basic and natural of primal desires. The desire to hunt, to kill, to rend his foes, and to mate, and to protect his pack. They were strong, they were attractive, but they were controllable. He was the master, the primal spirit was a slave to his will, and not the other way around.

There was also a third presence sitting at the back of his mind. He guessed it had to be the Gill Man. It was basic, without complexity, but it did have two strong urges, but urges far more sedate than the Primal's powerful instincts. It was hungry, and it wanted to swim...

Sitting up, he forced his eyes open. The light was blinding, painful, bright. He almost jumped in shocked as a third, transparent eyelid slid over his sensitive eyes, filtering the light. Okay he'd have to ask Ethan why he'd developed one of Mister Spock's less famous physical features. If he had pointy ears and green blood, heads were going roll.

Once he felt comfortable, the third eyelid opened, giving him a clear view of all that was around him. He glanced about the room. Everything was clear. He'd always had decent eyesight but now, he could read the fine print on books across the room as if he was holding them in his hand.

Taking a deep breath through his nose, he smiled. He could smell Willow's presence in this room. She'd visited many times. He could also smell that Ethan liked Indian take out, because the scent of curry was wafting up from his trash can.

Closing his eyes again, and concentrating, he focused on processing the cacophony of noise that was assaulting his ears. He smiled as he began to isolate individual sounds. The cars driving outside, the distinct hum of the electrical system, the sound of Ethan walking in the next room, the sound of Ethan opening the door to this one...

"Hey, Ethan," Xander muttered hoarsely.

"How do you feel?"

"Like shit," Xander replied, "And I have a question for you?"

"Yes?" Ethan asked.

"Why the HELL do I have a THIRD EYELID?" Xander exclaimed, as loudly as his tender vocal cords would allow.

"Ah yes," Ethan remarked, "That would be the influence of the Fish DNA..."

"I'm not about to sprout GILLS, am I?" Xander growled.

"No," Ethan replied, "Nothing of the kind, though you might note other differences."

"Like?" Xander growled.

"Not sure," Ethan admitted, with a shrug, "The limits of the transformation were that they cannot make you inhuman."

"Alright," Xander sighed, "As long as I don't get scaly."

Xander sighed and rubbed his head. He felt strange. Strange and... hungry. He was hungry. Really hungry. Voraciously hungry. He needed to eat, to feed, and he needed to do it now.

"Xander," Ethan said, interrupting his train of thought, "I want you to bend this."

Xander sighed and took whatever Ethan was offering, not even bothering to look down. It was cold and hard but it felt light, felt almost weightless. To satisfy the Brit, he bent it as he'd asked. It gave some resistance, but really, it was not that strong whatever it was.

"Well," Ethan observed, "Your strength has certainly been enhanced..."

Xander blinked in confusion and glanced down to what he was holding. Needless to say, he was surprised to see a bent length of steel rebar in his hands.

"Holy crap," Xander exclaimed.

Looking at the bar intently, he bent it again. Wasn't that difficult, in fact if felt kind a like a big hard rubber bendy. With a smile, he bent it again, this time twisting it into a knot.

"Man, I'm as strong as Buffy!" Xander exclaimed. "This is so cool!"

Xander jumped up and laughed, not caring that he was still in the nude. With the added memories of all Solder Guy's group showers, and the shamelessness of the Hyena, he probably could streak the entire town. That was, unless Willow saw him. He'd be embarrassed around Willow. That was, unless, she wanted to mate. Then it would be just fine.

Xander blinked, and shook his head. No, Willow already had a boyfriend. Mating with Willow bad. Mating with Willow very bad. There would be no mating with Willow.

"Here," Ethan growled, as the threw Xander's boxer's into his face. "Cover yourself!"

Xander nodded and slipped into his underwear. As he looked down at his body he could note that the runes had left signs. His skin where they'd been was pink and tender. What really struck out though, was his physique. Before, he'd seen himself as on the good side of average. In shape due to all his running around the town and hunting vampires. Now though. Jeeze... he looked good. Like Peter Parker to Spiderman good.

"Hey," Xander grinned, "I'm a sexy beast!"

"Of course," Ethan drolled, "And I am sure all the lampposts will love you, Sparky."

"Hey," Xander snapped, "I'm just talking about my physical condition here... I'm like some kind of model here."

"Well," Ethan replied, "It was to have been expected. Physical transformation and all. Now, besides the obvious, how do you feel."

"Hungry," Xander replied without delay, "I'm really hungry."

"Alright," Ethan replied, "I think there's some takeout still in the fridge. Help yourself."

Xander all but ran over to the fridge, opening it up he wrenched out the Styrofoam container and began to dig in, only pausing to get a spoon. In moments the food had vanished, and he was still ravenous.

"I need more," he all but growled in a base, animalistic tone.

"Oh great," Ethan sighed, "Its one of those 'I just transformed into a super human and I could eat a whole horse' moments. Ah hell... I hate those."

"I need food..." Xander stated again.

Ethan sighed and walked over to the telephone. "Give me a moment, I'll order Pizzas."

Ethan sighed and opened up the phonebook.

"Mind if I get something while I wait?" Xander asked.

"Yes, yes," Ethan replied, absently waving his hand about, as he looked up a pizza place, "Just don't eat me out of house and home."

Xander nodded as the older man began to dial a Pizza Shop. Turning back towards the fridge, Xander began to dig. It was rather empty, just the basics of life. Some eggs, bread, and a pot roast.

Without a word said, Xander removed the roast and began to pull back the plastic. Once the scent of meat hit his nose though, he began to salivate wildly. He could feel his eyes tearing up, as the hunger pangs became more of a monstrous hole in his stomach. Without even thinking, he picked up the lump of raw meat and began to blindly tear into it, savagely ripping out chunks of flesh and swallowing them, barely chewing. On a conscious level, he knew what he was doing was strange, but he didn't care. This was meat, he was hungry, he was a predator. Nothing could have been more natural.

"Ah hell," Ethan exclaimed, cutting in on Xander's visceral orgy of consumption, "That was my bloody dinner!"

"Sorry," Xander managed to choke out as he swallowed the last bite full of flesh. "I couldn't help myself."

"Well," Ethan sighed, "There are six pizza's on the way, the medium is mine. You will not touch it, agreed?"

"Fine," Xander relented, wiping the blood off of his mouth. "God, I can't believe I did that..."

He sat down and rubbed his forehead. "I just hope I don't loose control like that again."

Ethan shrugged, "It was only a Pot Roast."

"But what if the next time I smell blood, it's human blood?" Xander countered nervously, "What then?"

Ethan sighed in irritation, "I cut my palms last night, and the wounds are still raw. Don't see you trying to eat me."

Xander sniffed the air. He could detect the faint odor of blood coming from the Englishman, and while it did stir instincts, hunger was not one of them. It was more a base sense of caution, that there was a possible source of danger nearby.

"I don't want to eat you," Xander sighed in relief.

"Good," Ethan remarked, seemingly a bit relieved himself. "Now we wait for the Pizzas."

Xander sighed and began to pull his clothes on. "Hey, how long have I been out?"

Ethan shrugged, "About twelve hours. You passed out in the middle of the ritual. From the look of it, it was probably for the best. It looked painful."

Xander shuddered, "It was. Felt like I was being burned alive."

Ethan nodded, "Just remember your part of the deal, kid. I get to keep tabs on you..." he grinned, "Just call me your 'Voyeur'."

Xander's eyes narrowed. "You know, I should hit you for that pun."

Ethan stepped back. "You don't know your own strength yet. You'd probably take my head off..."

"I said should, not that I would," Xander corrected, "Though I'm just wondering what god I pissed off to get you as a Watcher."

Ethan gagged, "Don't call me that..."

"Why not?" Xander asked with a grin, "Why the next thing you know, you'll be in tweed."

"Tweed? Why I'd rather hang," Ethan protested.

"You'll see," Xander grinned, "Sooner than later you'll be dressing in tweed, acting all respectable, and going to academic book signings with Giles."

Ethan blanched, "Now there's a nightmare if I've ever heard one."

Xander grinned, "It'll happen."

"I'll kill myself first," Ethan countered indignantly.

Xander laughed, "What's on TV?"

Ethan shrugged. "Lets check..."

_" Who's that riding in the sun?  
Who's the man with the itchy gun?  
Who's the man who kills for fun?  
Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad, Psycho Dad."_

"Ah yes, Psycho Dad, the favorite misogynistic daydream of pussy-whipped, middle aged shoe and used car salesmen all through out this great nation..." Ethan remarked.

"Yeah," Xander added, "My dad loves this show..."

Ethan blinked and smiled. "I see it's the Forth of July special..."

"Isn't that the one where he tries to blow his wife up with fireworks?" Xander asked.

"I think so," Ethan thought out loud, "Let's see."

"Yeah," Xander grunted in agreement.

Together, the two men sat on the couch and slouched back, absently slipping their hands into the tops of their pants, keeping them ready and in position to catch any errant itches that may come their way.

About twenty minutes, two commercial breaks, and fifteen assorted attempts on the life of Psycho Dad's wife later, there was a knock on the door.

Xander glanced at Ethan who sighed and stood up, walking over to the door.

Xander enjoyed watching the antics of the crazy maniac on the TV as Ethan paid for the food. He could already smell it...

"_Attend-Hut!_"

Those two words cut through Xander's psyche like a hot knife. By pure reflex, programmed into his mind by decades of the best military training the United States had to offer, Xander jumped to attention.

"Well," Ethan remarked with a smile, "I see there is one sure fire way to get you to your feet."

Xander glared at the Englishman. "You asshole."

"Yes, yes, soups on..."

Xander smiled and walked over to the Pizza. It smelled so good. Not as good as meat, but still really good...

Without a word said, Xander assaulted his stack of pies while Ethan began to enjoy his own. As he ate, the newly created Demon Hunter barely paused to breath as he all but shoveled the hot slices of bread, cheese, and tomato paste down his throat.

"You're almost turning my stomach," Ethan growled as he placed down the slice in his hands.

Xander paused and looked over. "Hey, if you're not hungry..."

"Yes I am going to eat this!" Ethan growled, "But please, you're not competing for the 'Lord of the Large Pants' here. Slow down."

"Can't slow down," Xander countered, "Too hungry."

Ethan sighed and returned to his Pizza while Xander continued to inhale his own five pies. They finished at about the same time.

"So," Xander asked as he swallowed the crust of his last slice. "What now?"

Ethan sighed, "I want you to take a few days to acclimatize yourself to the changes. Take it slow."

Xander scowled. He wanted to test out his full capabilities. He wanted to hunt, he wanted to kill... "What about slaying?"

"Might not be the best idea," Ethan remarked. "You don't know your full capabilities yet."

"And how the hell am I supposed to learn them without testing them against hostiles?" Xander asked.

"You could try sparing with one of your Slayers," Ethan suggested.

"Yeah right," Xander scoffed, "Last time I was possessed by the Hyena spirit, I tried to _rape_ Buffy. I'll get to about that point in the conversation before she clubs me over the head and tries to have my powers stripped."

Ethan winced, "I understand your apprehension. What about the other Slayer?"

Xander paused for a moment and shook his head. "I'm not sure. I don't know Faith that well. Besides, she seems to be a bit... charged when she slays, and I'm not sure how I'll react once my blood's pumping. We could end up hurting each other."

"Fine," Ethan relented, "Go take down a few fledglings or something. Just no trying to prove your machismo and running into a nest, or trying to take on a master."

"Alright," Xander agreed, "I've got to get going."

Ethan nodded, "Where to?"

"Well," Xander said, "I was going to stop by the DoubleMeat Palace and then the library to check in and show everyone I'm okay."

Ethan blanched. "You're still hungry?"

"I need more meat," Xander shrugged, "Have this whole predatory instinct thing going."

"Just don't buy any live chickens," Ethan requested.

"You know," Xander said with a sick pallor covering his features, "I don't know what's more disturbing, the fact that you had to say that, or that it kinda sounds like a good idea..."

------------- ------------- 

Xander smiled widely as he stepped into the DoubleMeat Palace. Ah yes, soon he'd be sinking his teeth into two wonderful patties of beef and chicken, all held together on a sesame seed bun. Ah, the joy. Xander took a deep whiff, wanting to savor the moment with his new and improved sense of smell.

Xander's smile faded and his eyebrow arched. This place... it didn't smell right. There was something a bit off. He could smell the burgers on the grill but there was something not right about them.

With a shrug, he walked into the line. Might just be the processing or something. He just hoped they still tasted good.

"Hello, welcome to DoubleMeat Palace, may I take your order?" asked the cashier.

"Yeah," Xander replied, "I'd like a MegaMeat with bacon and cheese value meal..."

"Would you like to DoubleSize it?"

"Yes," Xander stated with a grin, "Yes I would indeed."

"That'll be $7.35."

Xander happily paid the man, and accepted his cup. He then quickly filled it with tasty beverage and returned to the counter. Smiling, he grabbed his tray and walked to a booth, anxious to dive into the meaty goodness of his favorite burger.

Xander grinned as soon as he sat down. He happily took a deep sniff as he picked up the sandwich.

There was something wrong with this sandwich. It smelled off... the chicken and beef flavors were strong, but there was a slight chemical ting to them, as if something about them was unnatural. He recoiled and glanced at the burger, scowling slightly.

Slowly, and cautiously, he took a bite and chewed. Quickly his faded smile became an outright scowl as his new sensitive pallet discovered the secret of the DoubleMeat Burger.

DoubleMeat Burgers were not made of meat. In fact, besides the fixings and the condiments, nothing on this burger was real. The meat was all flavored... something. He chewed slightly and snarled. It was all some kind of flavored vegetable matter. As for the cheese, he could not even guess what it was. This burger was not a burger, it as an abomination. A sin against meat. A vicious lie perpetuated by a soulless corporation against countless innocent diner's the world round.

Xander leapt to his feet as a deep, growl rumbled though his throat. As along time _sucker_ of this establishment and as a true and righteous guardian of justice, he could not let this vile crime stand! He was going to do what any red blooded American patriot would do in his situation. He was going to ask for his money back!

Grabbing his tray, Xander stormed up to he counter and all but threw it down to get the server's attention. Once the surprised register jockey locked eyes with him, Xander started to glare. He didn't even bother to suppress his grin as the zit faced putz backed up in fear in the light of his intimidating gaze.

"Manager. Now." He growled.

"Yes... Yes sir!" The cashier squeaked as he ran off to get his manger.

Moments later, an irritated looking middle manager strode up to the counter. "May I help..."

"What the hell is this slop?" Xander cut in, looking the manager dead in the eyes.

"Why, it's a MegaMeat with bacon and cheese value meal..."

"You know," Xander snarled, giving a comical veneer of thoughtfulness, "I thought that too until I tasted it. It was then I realized that in reality this MegaMeat with bacon and cheese contains neither meat, bacon, nor cheese. This is a MegaSomething with something and something else that I don't even want to think about. And as for the rest?"

Xander dumped his fries onto the tray. "These fries are dead, and the drink? You know, considering that soda costs about a penny a cup, you could maybe afford not to skimp on the syrup?"

The manger by this point was sweating bullets and wilting under Xander's gaze. "W-what would you like me to do for you, sir?" 

Xander grinned. Yeah, who's the Alpha now, bitch.

"I want my money back. Now."

"R-receipt please?" the manger squeaked.

Xander handed over the slip of paper and crossed his arms in exaggerated aggravation. Quickly, his money was returned.

"I am never going to set foot in this _establishment_ again," Xander stated for the record, "Now if you will excuse me, I'll be dining at _Moobies_. Good day, sir!"

------------- ------------- 

Xander felt like a cock on the walk as he strode into the library, a bag of take out in his hands. This time, he knew he was carrying a bag full of real US letter grade meat. He'd made sure too. Bought a value menu burger so he didn't have to have another DoubleMeat conniption fit. All it had taken was one bite and he'd been in so in love with the delectable beefy goodness that he'd bought himself a veritable burger feast. He needed to get these meat cravings out of his system, and he could think of no tastier way...

Though, he reflected, if that didn't work, then he'd just stop by the supermarket and get himself a nice large roast. That would have to fill the hole. He's just make sure that he cooked it this time... or at least warmed it to a nice body like temperature. Cold raw meat was kind of icky. Unless it was fish. Raw fish was best cold.

As he approached the library, he considered the fact that he'd missed most of his classes, and honestly, he was intending to miss the rest of them too. He was going to go to the library, eat his burger feast, and hang out with the Scooby Gang.

Stealthy, he slipped in one of the side doors and began to skulk down the halls towards the library, keeping his ears open for the sound of any Snyder type authority figures. His movements were absolutely silent, trained and focused by almost 30 years of experience. There were fleas that we're louder than him. Hearing footsteps as he walked through the halls, he pressed himself into an alcove to stay out of sight.

Xander suppressed a sneer as the school's petty Napoleon strode by looking for truant students to punish. Forcing himself to deal with the stench, he breathed deeply as Snyder walked past. He was getting the bastard's scent, and he'd remember it. This way he'd have an early warning system.

Waiting for the pint-sized would be educational dictator to pass by, Xander quickly snaked his way to the library, opening the door in complete silence and slipping inside. Once inside he saw that Giles hadn't noticed him. Not wanting to surprise the G-man too much, he closed the door loudly enough to draw his attention.

"Oh," Giles jumped slightly, "Hello Xander, you startled me for a moment there."

Xander nodded and pulled over a seat, happy to plop his rear down. "Sorry bout that G-man," He grinned, "I just guess I underestimate my own sneakiness. You should never underestimate the sneakiness."

"Quite," Giles dryly remarked, "Now, I must ask, what are you doing here during classes, and more importantly, where were you last night? Willow said you just stormed out into the night and did not show up for any of your early classes."

"I had something to take care of," Xander admitted, "I ended up crashing at a friend's place."

"You should have at least phoned," Giles chided.

Xander shrugged, "He let me sleep in late, what can I say?"

"I see," Giles replied, "But I must ask why you are here and not in class."

"Didn't seem right to show up for the last 30 minutes of last period," Xander said with a smile, "And besides, I don't have my books."

"Very well Xander, but I..."

"Hold on," Xander cut in. He narrowed his eyes and grinned as he heard the sounds of two voices through the thick wooden door of the Library. Faith and Synder. Arguing. Coming this way.

Xander immediately bolted up and grabbed his burger feast and began walking towards Giles' office.

"What are you doing?" Giles asked the Demon Hunter.

"Incoming. Snyder and Faith. ETA, about 25 seconds. Don't want my presence compromised."

Giles blinked and glanced towards his office as Xander slipped inside and closed the door, remaining out of sight.

"Don't want my presence to be compromised?" Giles asked himself as he glanced back towards the thick wooden doors that served as the entrance to the Library.

Moments later, the doors almost exploded open as Faith stormed in with Snyder on her heels.

"Mister Giles," Snyder all but roared, "Who is this _delinquent_ that is in my school during class hours?!"

Giles' jaw went slightly slack as he looked back and forth between his office and the pair standing before him.

"Yeah, Uncle G," Faith remarked, "You tell 'em who I am?"

"Uncle?" Giles paused and nodded, "Yes, sir, this is my... niece, Faith."

"Yeah," Faith added, "His bro's my pa."

Snyder sneered as if smelling something unpleasant. "Mister Giles, in the future you will keep your delinquent relatives off of school property during school hours. Am I understood?"

"Yes, I believe that is reasonable," Giles muttered in response.

"Good," Snyder stated as he turned about and began to leave. Right before he exited, he turned his head and assed, "By the way, I want a report on my desk tomorrow morning. I want to know every book that every delinquent in this school has taken out since the beginning of term. Understood?"

Giles repressed a sneer. "Crystal."

"Good." Snyder contemptuously slammed the door as he left.

Faith winced. "Sorry G..."

"It is not your fault that the man is an insufferable little troll." Pausing for a moment, he asked "Uncle G? Your father's brother?"

"Yeah," Faith shrugged, "Sounded like a good idea at the time."

She paused and grinned, "Unless you'd like me to call you 'daddy'."

Giles flustered. "Most certainly not!"

"Awe," Faith pouted in response, "Could have been fun." She grinned, "So, everyone still in class?"

"Almost everyone," Xander replied as he stepped out of Giles' office.

"Cutting class," Faith grinned, "Turning into a real hood, eh X? What would Red say if she saw you now?"

"I'd tell you," Xander replied, "But I don't think you are fluent in Willow babble. Difficult language. Takes many years of practice to master."

"Excuse me, Xander," Giles interrupted, "I would like to know how you did that."

"Did what?" Xander asked innocently.

"How you heard Faith and that vile troll though the door and down the hall," Giles stated, "I would like to know how that was possible."

Xander grinned from ear to ear. Ah, shit. He needed an excuse and he needed one ten seconds ago. He could do this, he only had to tell enough truth to make it sound real.

"Well," Xander began, "Remember when I was possessed by the Primal spirit?"

"Yes," Giles responded warily, "It was rather... memorable, to say the least."

"Yeah," Xander winced, "Well, the Alpha left something behind."

Giles removed his glasses and began to clean them. "Good lord..."

"Nothing bad," Xander stammered, "What I mean is that my senses were a bit sharper once it was gone. Nothing too much, but I figured that maybe the spirit improved them and that my mind wasn't able to properly use them. I've been trying to train myself to make the most of them, and its finally getting results."

"So you are beginning to have senses matching your primal possessed self?" Giles inquired.

"Yeah," Xander grinned.

"I must say," Giles stated with a smile, "Considering that your possession took place over two years ago, I must applaud your diligence. Though I do wonder, why didn't you tell us sooner."

Xander sighed and sat down, plopping his burger feast on the table. "Yeah, I'd have mentioned it, Buffy'd brain me with a desk, and demand that you get it out. Not exactly something I wanted to deal with."

"Yes, I can see your point..." Giles acquiesced.

"Hold on," Faith asked, "What's the sitch with the primal, X?"

"A couple of years ago, during a trip to the Zoo," Xander began, "I accidentally got in the way of a Zoo Keeper's crazy ritual and was possessed by a Primal Hyena Spirit. It made me stronger, faster, tougher, and gave me senses like a Hyena. Super sensitive smell, vision, hearing, the works..."

"Then why'd you get rid of it?" Faith inquired, "It sounds like being a Slayer. I'd never give it up."

Xander chuckled weakly "That's the problem. It was kind of like being vamped, only less _Dracula_ and more _Clan of the Cave Bear_... though the eating habits were close, I ate a live pig, and the other members of my pack ate the old principal."

"Ewe..." Faith winced, "Never mind, glad you're rid of it then, but why'd B be so freaked about it?"

Xander winced. "You know how in all those old caveman movies someone always tries to club the hot blond and drag her into his cave?"

Faith gasped, "You're kidding me..."

"Nope," he replied, "Buff was just lucky she had the bigger club, or in this case, desk."

"Shit," Faith replied, "That sucks."

Xander nodded, "Yeah, and you wanna know what's the worst part about all this?"

"What?" Faith asked.

"Now I can't watch the Lion King around Buffy without her giving me dirty looks when ever the Hyenas come on screen."

Faith grinned and chucked, "Heh. Tough luck, X."

"By the way," Xander pleaded, "Can we not tell Buffy about this yet?"

Giles glanced over. "May I ask why, Xander?"

"Buffy plus desk equals pain. Lets leave it at that. Okay, Giles?"

Giles blinked in surprise. "Surely you don't think Buffy will attack you..."

"Lets just say I want to find a _delicate_ way to let her know," Xander thought aloud, "One that will hopefully not end in her freaking out and clubbing me over the head."

Giles nodded. "Alright. I will leave it up to your discretion."

Faith shrugged. "Sounds cool to me."

Xander nodded and opened up his bag of burgers. "Well at least I have this big bag of beefy deliciousness to bring me comfort in the off hours."

Xander pulled out one of the burgers and sighed fondly. Ah yes, a Triple Moobie Burger with Cheese. While it wasn't a MegaMeat, he'd learned incontrovertibly that a MegaMeat wasn't even a MegaMeat. Regardless though, it was still three flame grilled patties of beefy delicious goodness.

Xander slowly opened his mouth and bit deep into the burger, taking a moment to chew, to enjoy the texture of the ground meat, the sweet tang of the grease, and the heat of the fresh goodness of the all-beef patty. He was in heaven.

As he chewed, he looked across the room in total contentment. There was Giles, in tweed as always, doing some reading of course. Probably looking up that snake demon from last night. Absently, he reflected that should they encounter it again, he was going to skin the bastard and make boots. It was a shame though, Xander reflected, that he'd missed meeting 'Ripper'. He'd like to have known what Giles was like in his younger, more ner-do-well days, if only to see why Ethan was so damned afraid of him.

Glancing to Faith, his face just sunk. Her attention was almost entirely focused on his burger. He could see her slowly following him as he took each bite. Slowly, and very lightly, she'd wet her lips as she did so. Taking a breath, he turned his focus to her, ignoring all sounds that were not Faith. For a moment he could hear the beating of her heart, her breaths as she inhaled and exhaled, her hand scratching some place that was likely very unladylike, and a shallow rumble of her stomach. That settled it in his mind. He had plenty of burgers, and he was not about to let a friend go hungry.

Xander placed his burger back onto the wrapper and glanced at the dark slayer, smiling. "Hey Faith."

"Yeah, X?" she asked.

He reached into his pack and removed one of the sandwiches. "Catch."

Faith blinked in surprise as the burger was thrown towards her. Deftly snatching it out of the air, she honestly smiled at her fellow Scoob. Not her usual 'I'm the cool bad girl' smirk, but an honest to goodness 'me happy' smile. Xander had to say, her smile was as nice to look at as the rest of her.

"Thanks, Xander!" she said.

"No problem," Xander responded, "You looked hungry and hey, you look out for your friends."

Faith's features softened ever so slightly, and still smiling, she took a bite out of her burger. "Not bad, though why Moobies? I thought you were a DoubleMeat man."

"I was," Xander scowled, "But not anymore."

Faith blinked, "Why not? I love their DoubleMelts."

Xander placed his burger down and crossed his arms over his chest. "I have discovered their secrets, and they are dark indeed."

"Really?" Faith sat over next to Xander and looked at him in inquiry, "So what's the big secret?"

"Yes Xander," Giles cut in, "I have been known to partake a DoubleMeat burger at times, and you seem rather put off," He shifted into his serious Watcher face. "Is there something unbecoming going on at the DoubleMeat Palace you'd like to inform us of?"

"I'll say," Xander snarled, "But its nothing Hellmouthy."

"So what is it, Xan?" Faith asked in honest curiosity, "I mean, what ever it is, it seems to have you all riled up. We're not talking something like that Soylent Blue..."

"Soylent Green," Giles corrected.

"Yeah," Faith began again, "We're not talking something like that Soylent Green movie, are we?"

"You mean," Xander asked, "DoubleMeat Burgers are made from people?"

"Yeah," Faith chuckled, "That."

"Nah," Xander replied, "That would involve them being meat."

Faith blinked. "Huh?"

"DoubleMeat burgers aren't. They're the vamps of the hamburger world. They're unmeat. They're meatless. They're DoubleNothing. All they are is flavored vegetable patties... though the cheese, I know its not cheese, but beyond that, I have no idea what it is and really, I'm thinking ignorance is bliss on this one..."

"Shit," Faith muttered, "And the DoubleMeat was the place closest to my place. You sure?"

"Yep," Xander replied, "My super Hyena senses were able to taste around their processing. It's defiantly not meat."

"Oh well," Faith sighed, "Maybe I'll try that Hawaiian burger place."

"Big Kahuna Burger?" Xander asked.

"Yeah," Faith replied, "Heard they have a tasty burger."

Giles sighed. "As much as I enjoy this discourse on the pros and cons of various fast food eateries, I have to get started on that troll's report."

Xander nodded. "No problem, Giles. Good luck with that."

The British librarian gave a nod and walked into his office to begin his report.

In the background, the bells rung, announcing an end to the school day.

Faith smiled and glanced at Xander. "Hey, X?"

"Yeah Faith?" Xander asked.

"Wanna play a game?" she asked with a coy smile on her face.

"Okay... what game?" Xander asked wearily.

Faith placed her finger under is nose. "Where've my hands been?

An involuntary shudder ran through Xander's body as Faith's scent overwhelmed him. Oh, he knew where that finger had been alright. Somewhere private. Somewhere REALLY private. It smelled strongly of Faith, and in a very biblical way. He could feel the pheromones hit him like a thunderbolt. He could almost taste the sweetness of her honey. It stirred something in him, something very... primal. It wanted her, it needed her, and it would do just about anything to have her.

A second shudder racked his body. He remembered the last time he felt _that_ urge that strongly. It ended with Buffy clubbing him over the head with a desk.

"Faith!" Xander squealed as he jumped out of his chair and backed away, "Don't do that!"

"So," Faith asked with a coy smirk, obviously highly amused by Xander's reaction. "Where's my hand been?"

"Somewhere I'm not thinking about," Xander replied, nervously.

"You're a bad liar," Faith replied with a predatory grin.

The door swung open and Buffy stormed in followed by Oz and Willow. Taking a deep breath, Xander smiled. Saved from the naughty Slayer.

"Xander, where were you last night?" Buffy demanded. 

Xander shrugged, "I... had something I needed to take care of."

Buffy leaned forward with a scowl. "Doing what?" she demanded, "We were worried sick that something had happened to you"

Xander matched her gaze. "It's alright, nothing much happened-" he sighed self-consciously and ran a finger through his hair "I'm alright, really."

Buffy took a deep breath and wondered why Xander was so dead set on taking risks all the time. He wasn't a Slayer, he was just a normal guy. It frightened her every time they went on patrol, almost as much as it frightened her when he didn't show up for school.

"Are you sure?" she asked Xander.

"Actually," Xander casually remarked, "I did run into a vamp." Pausing for a moment, he cheekily added, "By the way, can I come over to your place tonight, and anyone seen my blanket?"

Faith began to crack up as Willow gasped and Buffy turned a bright shade of crimson.

"Not funny!" Willow cried out from behind Buffy.

Xander smiled. "Just playing Wills, though I wasn't kidding when I said ran into a vamp."

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked in a worried tone.

"Just fine," Xander replied. "Dusted him no problem."

"And how'd you pull that off, Xan?" Faith asked with an amused tone and a predatory grin.

Xander glanced from side to side and pulled his .45 out of his waste band, instinctually making sure to keep his finger off the trigger and not point it at anyone. "Lets just say that if you shoot a vamp in the knees, they go down like everyone else."

"Are you crazy or are you just trying to get thrown out of school?" Buffy exclaimed in shock, obviously appalled that Xander would even consider using a firearm.

She could not even fathom what was running thought his head. She was not looking forward to explaining this to Giles, and Snyder? God, if he found out, then he'd probably use it as an excuse to expel the both of them!

Xander tucked the gun back into his pants holster and covered it with his shirt. Calmly, he leaned back, remaining completely collected, and pulled another burger from his take out bag. "I didn't have time to drop it off at home" he remarked, "And honestly, I'd rather be expelled than vamped."

Buffy looked at him, still shocked by what she was hearing. She was beginning to question whether it was Xander who was talking, or was this was not some new trick of the Hellmouth. She hoped to God that this was not another trick and that her Xander shaped friend was alright. Reminding herself to breath, she looked at Xander "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, are you okay Xander," Willow piped in, "This isn't like you, your normally not this...officially and cold?"

"Been meditating," Xander remarked, "Getting in touch with my inner badass soldier dude."

Buffy scowled. "And your meditations lead you to believe carrying around an illegal handgun is a good thing?"

"As I said, better to end up with legal troubles then vamped. And really, I have years of military experience rattling around in my head. Airborne, infiltration, Search and Destroy, Special Ops... Cambodia, Laos, Viet-Nam, Afghanistan, Iran, Nicaragua, Iraq... name a war that happened in the last 35 years and I'll probably have memories of fighting in it." He looked Buffy in the eyes and bluntly stated, "If the cops can actually catch me, they deserve a medal."

Willow looked at Xander and frowned. "Ok, this isn't funny or cool anymore Xander. You're scaring me."

"I scare me too," Xander smiled sadly as he looked at a point just beyond Willow, and continued in a quieter voice, "You don't know the memories I have. I remember the Killing Fields, Willow, I remember them like I was there... I remember the Khmer Rouge..." His stare lost its focus as he delved into the depths of the Soldier Guys memories. For his friends, it was strange, almost frightening, but anyone with military experience would know it for what it was: the thousand yard stare. "I can remember those fucking commies, they..." He sneered with hate. "They rounded up men, women, children, anyone with glasses... they starved them, made them dig trench graves, and tortured them to death because bullets were 'too good' for them... Two million people. Those goddamn Reds murdered two _million_ people, and I remember seeing it!"

He refocused on his friends, and the expression invoked similar reactions in all of the Scoobies.

"Oh my god," Willow whispered in horror, as all color drained from her face. "That's... oh my god Xander!" Willow lost her composure and began to cry.

Sensing his girlfriend's need, Oz wrapped his arms around her and gave Xander a pained, sympathetic look.

"Holy fuck," Faith managed to choke out from her seat. "That's some sick shit..."

Buffy looked at Xander as a confusing mixture of fear, confusion, anger, and stark horror ran through her system. She was the Slayer, but it always seemed to be the people around her that suffered and died. It tore at her very soul to think that Xander, funny Xander, loyal Xander, had these horrors, these indescribable nightmares corrupting his memory. I just wasn't fair. It just wasn't right. She was the Chosen One, she was the Slayer. She was the one who could never have a normal life, the one who probably wouldn't live to see her 20th birthday. Why did her friends always end up being the ones who got hurt? Why couldn't he understand that she only wanted to protect him? She just didn't want to see him hurt.

"I can't imagine what its like, Xander," Buffy began, softly, "But that's why I'm doing this. You've already gone through enough, please be careful! I don't want you to take any stupid risks..." She sighed and looked him in the eyes, "You're like an anchor for us. I need you, Willow needs you... and you can't do that if you're in prison on gun possession charges!"

Willow piped up "Or feeling terrible that we didn't do anything to prevent it when we could have..."

"Buffy," Xander sighed, "I'd rather be in trouble with the law and alive than a dead guy with a clean record. Is it a risk? Yes, it is. But so is slaying," Xander paused, "So is going to the bathroom while the linoleum is wet... This is a risk I'm taking it because it's riskier to go out slaying without the gun. I've had it for months and this is the first time I actually used it. I'm being careful."

Buffy shook her head. She was not letting him off this easy, "Well, you shouldn't be out slaying alone! Its my job, not yours," Buffy looked away for a moment, taking a deep breath to center herself. "You're my best friend and I won't have you dieing to do my job. Please, Xander, please. I don't want to see your hurt! I need you, I need regular Xander that can make me laugh, or take me away from studying French at the Bronze..."

"Buffy, that's just it. Slaying _is_ my job..."

Buffy groaned in frustration. "So now what?" She demanded, "So it's not enough that I put my friends lives' in danger, now I've damned one to share my fate?"

Xander sighed and shook his head, "Buffy, do you remember Jessie?"

"What kind of question is that? Of course I do!"

"My chance for a 'regular' life ended the moment I saw my best friend crumble to dust before my eyes. The moment Jessie died, that I found out that that there are things out there that look at us humans like we're self-propelled snack food, that's the moment I decided that it's a slayer's life for me. You were chosen. I chose."

As much as she hated to admit it, she could understand him. Even worse, she couldn't find any flaws in his logic. Damn it Xander! Her face fell as she looked at him, and her voice cracked as she responded. "You shouldn't have had to..."

"And you should still be cheerleading in LA," Xander countered, "But that's the way the cookie crumbles. What can I say? Life sucks, buy a helmet..."

She sighed and looked at him "Alright, what did you do, how did you...you know...?"

"Get in touch with my militant side?" Xander grinned.

"Yeah," Buffy replied.

"Like I said, meditation," he lied in response. Pausing, he realized this would be the best time to ease her into the hyena senses like he he'd promised Giles he would. "Though I'll admit to you... there's something else."

Buffy grimaced. Call it feminine intuition, her Slayer Sense, or just the end result of too damn many years of living on a Hellmouth, but she really didn't like the sound of this. "What?"

Xander steeled himself, ready to switch to a defensive posture should Buffy try and slug him with a desk, and sniffed the air. "You use strawberry shampoo and lavender body wash."

"Oh?" She blinked and stopped for a moment as her brain tried to guess at what he was implying. After a moment her eyes went wide. "Oh..."

"Once I was depossessed by the Primal, my senses were a bit sharper. I think it did a bit more to me then we thought." He polished off his sandwich and grabbed another burger from his bag before continuing. "That's why I did all that meditation, to train them. Soldier guy and all his military badassery was an unexpected bonus."

Buffy winced, and with a frantic ting to her voice, asked, "So you're still, primal free, right?"

"Don't worry Buff, I'm completely in control of my own faculties," he honestly stated, "I don't want to have my way with you..." he grinned and shrugged, "Well, at least no more than I usually do, that is..."

Buffy made a face at him. "Well that's comforting..."

Xander grinned "Love you too, Buffster."

Buffy looked at Willow for a moment and there was a world unsaid. They had never talked about what had happened that day, as far as she was concerned it wasn't Xander and if he didn't recall it, it only made it easier for both of them.

Xander picked up on this silent communication and was barely able to hold down a grimace. He knew that as far as they knew, he remembered nothing. The problem was he did. He remembered every impulse, in fact, he felt them now albeit in a form that did not override his conscience and basic humanity. God, he hoped they'd forgive him...

"So Buff," He sighed, "There will be no more trying to cut me out, right?"

Buffy crossed her arms in irritation. "I never tried to cut you out..." 

"Yeah," Xander crossed his arms and scowled "You've just regulated me to donut duty, that's all..."

"That's not true..." Buffy replied, indignantly.

"Yes it is," Xander stated, "We haven't gone out on patrol together since before Faith showed up. I'm not made out of glass Buff, and remember, we kept the streets safe for three months while you were MIA."

Willow looked at him. "You don't see me rushing out to fight vampires though, does that make me useless too?"

Xander sighed, "You're not really a front line fighter, Wills." He paused thinking of a better way to say it. "You're good at research and you've got your mojo going, and even when you do go out you still have your flying pencils trick for self defense, but you're no good close in. You work better as artillery or behind the lines feeding intel and giving magical help to those of us who specialize in vampire slayage."

Buffy sighed and looked at him. "Look, we all contribute in our own ways. You've been my rock since I got here..."

"Buffy, I have thirty odd years combat experience rattling around in my noggin. I want you to understand that there's not a person in this room I wouldn't die for, not a person I wouldn't _kill_ for... Being the head cheerleader is all nice and all, but I'm a lover _and_ a fighter."

"This isn't right," Buffy muttered to herself as she wondered how she'd be able to protect him if he was always rushing into battle without a care in the world for his own safety.

"Buffy," he sighed. Time to state the facts, or at least the facts that don't include telling Buffy about the Hyena in his head. "If you cut me out, I'll either team up with Faith," he glanced over to the dark Slayer, "If you'll have me..."

"Any time, Xan," Faith grinned. "Be nice to have someone to help with the post-slay itch."

Xander flushed slightly and deciding to hint into what he had done, continued "Or I go independent and start looking into..." he glanced at Willow and Oz. "other options..."

Willow gasped as a clear look of shock passed over her features.

Oz raised his hands in what anyone who knew him would know to be clear alarm. "Buffy's not Yoko. You know that, right?"

Xander chuckled. "Yeah, I know, the band's safe..."

"Xander," Buffy stated, "You've made your point. I give up. No one is asking you to stop slaying. But I am going to ask you to be a little more careful, wait for the rest of the group that's all."

Willow cut in, "Yeah, how would you feel if when you and Buffy were supposed to meet me I didn't show up? I loved Jesse too and I don't wanna have you disappear some day and come back all... 'Grrr! Argh!'." She cringed at the thought

Xander nodded. "Unless it's a do or die, that sounds good to me." He grinned, "You willing to follow your own advice, Buffster?"

"Xander, I'm the Slayer...," she responded.

Xander scowled. "Didn't help you when you went off after the Master all half cocked."

Buffy winced. "Okay, okay..."

Xander glanced to the other Slayer. "You too Faith."

Faith crossed her arms and scowled. "You got a problem with how I slay, _Xander_?"

He sighed, "Listen, you're part of the team, and you're one hell of a Slayer. Its just that by working together we can make sure that you don't become a _former_ Slayer. We wouldn't like to see you end up like Ken."

"Who the hell is Ken?" Faith demanded.

"Kendra," Xander replied. "You wouldn't know her." He paused. "She died the night you were called."

Faith blanched. "Fine. I got ya, Xan." She grinned, "Slaying with B is a lot more fun, anyways." She paused, smiled wickedly, and added, "And maybe we could partner up some time."

Xander nodded, "Sure thing Faith. But no post slay itch. I have a girlfriend."

Faith just shrugged and her smile grew even more naughty and insufferable.

"If you guys are willing to listen," Xander thought aloud, "I have a couple other ideas that might be worth thinking about."

Willow smiled at him. "What are you thinking about, Xander?"

"Right now we're handling this whole slaying thing badly. Sure, we're trying, but we're doing it like a bunch of well meaning teenagers. We need to work a bit more professionally," he glanced at Buffy, "Don't worry, I'm thinking organized soldiery style and not no-life Watcher style."

Buffy took a breath. "What'd you have in mind?"

"I need some time to figure out the details, but I'll give you the general gist. Lets start with something simple." he glanced over to Faith. "We need to tighten up the group. You're a member of the team, but we almost never see you around."

"That's just cause I do my own thing," Faith replied, with a small shrug, "A bit of this, a bit of that."

Xander nodded, "Yeah, and that 'one girl in the world', lone Slayer crap doesn't work."

"What?" She blinked.

"What I am saying is that I don't want to see you get killed because you didn't have backup," Xander replied, "I don't want to loose another friend, and I don't want to see another Slayer fall." He leaned toward the new Slayer and looked her in the eye, pleading with her to understand how much he did _not_ want to watch her die.

He sighed. "If I'm pissing you off, I'm sorry. I have all this military leadership training in my head, and the way you're hanging on the line between one of the gang and an allied outsider drives me crazy." Taking a deep breath, he continued, "Faith, I don't know if it's you, or if it's us, but if it's us..." Xander took a deep breath. "If you think we're treating you like you're an outsider or a spare Slayer, I'm sorry. If you want to be a Scoob, then welcome to the gang. Either way, you're our friend. Just don't get yourself killed."

For a moment, Faith was left agape, before catching herself, and slipping into a sultry, but honest smile. "Hey, no it's cool. You guys are still getting' used to me, and I'm still getting used to you. Thanks for the invite though."

Willow looked at Oz who squeezed her hand and spoke up "Yeah, it's um like you said, we're still getting used to you, it's just..." she stuttered "Well, I never know what to talk to you about, it's not like I can just say 'Hey Faith, what do you think of our new science teacher' you know?"

Buffy glanced over to Xander in confusion, and then to Faith. "I hope you don't think I've been treating you like a spare. I mean its kinda cool to have another Slayer around, one that can stay around and that I can talk to and all. We're friends, right?"

"No problem, guys. Its all cool," Faith's smile widened. "You guys are trying, and that's more 'an anyone's ever done for me before."

"You have to look out for the team," Oz stated, sagaciously.

"Amen, reverend," Xander smirked.

"So, what? Is that it?" Buffy asked.

"Nah," he replied, "I have a couple more things. Next on my list is that we need better intel... While Giles has all the research references we need, we need to figure out stuff like where the hot and cold zones are when it comes to vamp activity so we can work our patrols around it. Maybe start scouting abandoned housing for vamp nests... Listening into the police band might be a good idea, and maybe hit up Willy's once or twice a week for the latest rumors..."

Buffy nodded. "That doesn't sound like a bad idea..." she paused "Though can we have caffeine before we plot to destroy the forces of darkness and take over the world with our new found uber-planning skills? I didn't get much sleep last night..."

"Hey, B," Faith interjected, "You ponderin' what I'm ponderin'?"

Buffy's eyes glazed over. "I'm not sure Faith, but I don't think Bloomingdales would be willing to start of line of Slayer friendly fashions..."

Faith grinned. "Narf!"

"Cut it out you two!" Xander laughed, as he lost his battle to keep a grin off his face, "I'm trying to be serious here..."

"Sucks to be you, now don't it, then," Faith responded.

"Story of my life," he deadpanned, "Anyways, I think I'll need to write up some kind of concrete plan before we get started, otherwise we'll be running around in circles."

"Ok good, now it's time for caffeine...where we going?" Buffy asked with a smile.

"Hold on," Xander cut in, "I have a couple more ideas first, if you're willing. Just want to get these out. Maybe then we could hit up Espresso Pump?"

Buffy nodded. "Okay, go ahead... floors all yours."

"I think we all need to start training in small unit tactics. Stuff like how to covers each other's back, how to breach a room... know what I mean?"

Buffy looked at him a little strange "I'm willing to look at it, but Faith and I do pretty good together already."

"Yeah, we're already cool that way," Faith remarked.

"Never hurts to learn a few new tricks..." Xander remarked, "Besides, training together using the same techniques'll allow you to work with all of us. You won't have to depend on a single partner, even if that's who you work best with... and if we're all in one big fight we'd be able to watch each other's backs and fight as a unit. Somebody once said ten well lead and organized men could wipe out a hundred. I think we should be the organized ones."

Buffy sighed. "Alright, alright. I got ya..."

Faith glanced over. "Does sound kinda cool, knowin' how to cover each other's backs..."

Willow nodded. "I'll look for books."

Xander grinned. "Good call, Wills. I recommend you try and find some army training manuals."

"I'll look on line, too!" she added with a happy smile. Xander was right, she was not really a fighter, but research _was_ her thing, and while Giles might not be able to look stuff up on the internet, she sure could!

"Cool," he nodded. Glancing back to Buffy and Faith, he frowned a bit, "This last one is going to piss you guys off a bit, I think..."

Faith blinked and cocked her head, while Buffy only nodded warily for him to continue.

"I think you need to start dressing differently when you go slaying..." Holding up his hand to cut them off before they could complain, he continued, "Hold on and hear me out on this one, okay?"

Buffy and Faith glanced at one another, both looking rather annoyed, before looking back to Xander, their displeasure being left very apparent.

"No, I'm not going to even suggest uniforms," he began.

"Smart," Buffy remarked with a scowl on her face.

Ignoring Buffy's interjection, he continued, "But I think you should start using clothes that are better in a fight. Heavy fabrics like denim or leather, steel tipped boots to protect your feet, leather gloves to protect your hands would be a good idea. Some light body armor you can wear under a jacket would also be a good idea." He thought for a moment, and added. "Look at it this way, you dress to go to the gym, why not dress to slay? Besides, look at the bright side, if you have special Slaying clothes, you don't have to worry about ripping or getting demon gunk on your new blouse anymore..."

"You've gotta be joking," Buffy deadpanned.

"He's got a point, Buffy" Faith thought aloud, "Besides, that outfit sounds wicked cool. Give the vamps that whole 'we're going to kick your face in before we stake you' vibe."

"If it works for you Faith, that's cool I just think it's a little..."

Willow supplied the appropriate word "Extreme."

Faith grinned, "I'd have said 'badass'."

"Buff," Xander said, "There's one thing though, that I have to insist on."

She crossed her arms. "What?"

"No high heels while you slay. If you don't use boots or sneakers, at least stick to flats."

Buffy scowled. "Why?"

"Because," he replied, "I don't want to have to go to my best friend's funeral because one of her heels broke and she lost her footing during a fight."

"But I've staked vamps with my heels before..." Buffy whined.

"Not worth the risk to your _life_." He paused, "And if you need backups that bad, I'll carve you some more."

"Alright Xander," Buffy sighed, "no heels while I slay."

"And the rest of it?" he asked. "Just trying to keep _you_ safe here, Buff..."

"I'll consider it," she replied, grudgingly.

"Alrighty then," Xander chirped with a wide smile, "I just want to finish my burger feast here and I'll meet you there, okay?"

"Okay," Buffy replied and she stood up. "I need a mocha."

"Yeah," Willow replied, "And I'm in the mood for a cappuccino."

Xander comically shuddered at the idea of his friend drinking coffee, earning an indignant glare.

"They don't have Irish coffees, do they?" Faith asked.

"'Fraid not," Buffy replied.

"Damn," Faith replied. "I'll meet guys in a minute. I wanna say something to Xan."

"Okay," Buffy replied, "We'll see you there."

Faith nodded.

They watched as Oz, Buffy, and Willow left. 

"So what is it?" Xander asked.

Faith paused and glanced to the side for a moment. Xander could not help but note that she seemed rather shy, or at least, as close to shy as was physically possible for Faith.

"Xander," she began, "I just wanted to say thanks. No one's ever tried to watch my back like that before, you know, without expecting something in return."

"That's what friends are for." He stated, "You have to look out for each other."

"Thanks again, Xan," She smiled, "You still wanna patrol with me?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Like I said, you're not just the spare Slayer. If you wanna patrol with me," he grinned, "then Buffy'll just have to learn that there's enough of me to go around."

Faith laughed, "Hold your horses, Macho man, or I'll have to give you a test drive to see what all the talk's about."

"Sound theory," Xander thought out loud, "But in action, Cordy would skin me alive with her razor sharp tongue."

"I ain't gonna kiss and tell," Faith replied, in a low sultry voice. "And you'd be surprised the things I can do with _my_ tongue..." Faith purred with a wink.

"It wouldn't be right," Xander stammered, fighting down a blush. "If you're with someone, you have to stay loyal."

Faith blinked in surprise. "You really feel that way?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah."

She shook her head with an amused grin before looking back to him. "If you're cool with it, then I'd like to patrol with you some time. With your nose and my slay we could rip 'em a new asshole. You sniff 'em down, I tear 'em up. What do you say?"

"I say, 'sounds good'. When do you want to give it a go?"

"Tomorrow sounds cool," Faith replied, "I'm gonna ask Buff if she wants to slay with me tonight."

Xander repressed a frown. He wanted to test out his capabilities, but if he was with Faith, he'd have to hold back. Not as much as he did with Buffy though. Oh well, she was a nice girl, it would make her feel welcome, and he had to admit, there were far worse things to do then spend the night hanging with a girl hot enough to be considered a fire hazard.

"Deal," He replied.

"Alright then," she replied, "It's a date!"

"A _what_?!" Xander sputtered.

Faith laughed. "You're just too easy." She turned around and waved before she walked out the door. "See ya, X-man."

He nodded and happily finished his burgers in record time. With a contented sigh, he patted his stomach. The beast had been satiated.

"Ahhh..." He moaned as he stood to his feet. "Nothing like fifteen patties of beefy deliciousness to sooth the savage beast..."

Standing, he tugged his shirt to make sure that his pistol was out of sight, and put his head into Giles' office to say goodbye.

"See ya later, Giles!" He stated with a grin.

"Good bye, Xander," The Watcher smiled.

Closing the office door, Xander left the Library. He was surprised to see Oz leaning against the wall next to the door.

"We need to talk, man," the Reverend of Soul began.

"What's up?" Xander asked, fighting down a sneaking suspicion.

"You were lying through your teeth, weren't you?" he asked. "Last night you went and had yourself supered."

Xander winced. Yeah, Oz knew. That was one accurate suspicion. "What makes you so sure?"

"Your scent's off," Oz replied, and you kinda smell like Ethan Rayne's place"

"Yeah," he admitted. "What now?"

"Why the lie?" Oz asked him.

Xander bit his lip. "I just want to get a grasp on what I am now. I don't want Buffy to know yet, Willow can't keep a secret from Buffy, and Giles is going to flip out."

"I see." Oz paused, "You okay, man?"

"Except for the baggage and instincts I'm okay."

"So its still you in there?" he asked, squinting a little, as if to see into the heart of the matter.

"Still me," Xander replied. "Only real mental shifts I can think of are stronger instincts, I need a smoke, and I really hate Commie Pinko scum."

Oz blinked. "Going on a bit strong there?"

"You have no idea." Xander grinned viciously.

Oz winced. "So, what now?"

"That's up to you," Xander sighed, "You going to tell the others?"

"Nah," Oz replied. "I trust you, man."

"Thanks Oz, means a lot." Xander replied with a smile. "So wanna patrol with me tonight? I could use someone to watch my back while I test out my limits on some poor unsuspecting blood-sucker."

Oz nodded, "I'm in."

"Alright," Xander grinned and held out his hand, he asked, "We pack?"

Oz nodded and took it, a slight smile coming to his face. "We pack."

"Cool," Xander replied. "I'm the Alpha."

Oz's smile grew. "Just keep telling yourself that, Ringo." 


	4. Chapter 4

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 4: The Killer in Me  
By PsyckoSama

Xander Harris quietly opened the front door of his house and entered slowly. It was starting to get dark, and while he was tired, having been through a great deal of strain the night before, he had no intention of sleeping. In fact, he reflected with amusement, he didn't think he could sleep. He could feel an almost intangible tension, like a nervous anxiety that clawed at the back of his conscious mind. While he would have been confused and frightened before hand, thanks to his memories as a soldier, he knew and knew well what that feeling was. 

It was something deep, something primal. The need to hunt, to search out the enemy and to destroy them utterly. He could only imagine that this was the same basic impulse a lion feels when they can see a herd of gazelle or zebra on the open planes. In his case, he guessed that that a comparison to a hyena would have been more adept, but still, he could feel it. The urge to get up, to run, to pursue, to feel the pounding of his heart, to smell the fear of his prey, and to rip out their throat in an visceral orgy of carnage and bloodshed. It was like a nagging sensation at the back of his mind that teased and tormented his mind and soul. He wanted, no, he _need_ to go out and find something to kill.

Before, he would have been freaked out. The very idea of finding it desirable to just go out and find something's head to rip off would have frightened the hell out of him. He knew from soldier guy that this was the point where a man went from being a soldier to being a killer. The point where it becomes less about duty to god and country and more about how many enemies you can butcher. He knew because he'd seen it in 'Nam... too many guys with a blank stare and a thirst for carnage. In that context it would have freaked him out even more, but there were two things that made him different from those psychos.

First, he knew that it was dangerous; he knew to keep his head. Second, most of those guys didn't have predatory animal spirits zipping around in their heads. He honestly wasn't surprised to have it, really. It was not healthy to loose himself in those instincts, to let them take control. But really, considering his chosen profession, they were something he could afford to indulge from time to time as long as he kept his cool.

Xander's introspection was interrupted as a cocky voice behind him managed to slur out, "Hey boy, where've you been all night 'n day..."

Xander smiled thinly. He could not believe that there had been a time when he feared this sorry excuse for a man. A time he'd been afraid that he'd become something like _that_. An abusive drunken lowlife scum.

Maybe it was the ego boost from the Hyena, maybe it was the benefit of a life time of experience from Soldier Guy. He didn't know, and honestly, he couldn't give a damn. He just knew that 'people' like Tony were so far below him that his contempt was to good for them. Only pity would do.

That realization alone... That simple realization that he was just plain _better_ than his father in every imaginable way was worth the costs of the upgrade alone.

"Don't you ignore me, boy!" Tony roared as Xander simply walked off.

"I ignore nothing," Xander remarked with a self-satisfied smirk.

Tony blinked in confusion as his inebriated mind struggled to process his son's snarky response. Slowly, his eyes narrowed as he somehow managed to catch the double meaning of Xander's response.

"I'll show you nothin'!" He roared as he charged up behind his son.

Almost instinctively, Xander ducked to the side as his father, to use the term lightly, took at wild swing at him. Deftly avoiding the blow, he stuck out his leg, tripping the drunken fool, setting him flying into the wall with a flurry of cursing and a loud impact.

Xander scowled as he saw the twit lying on the ground in a pile. He hated the jackass, but he hoped he didn't break his neck. Would serve him right, though.

Xander walked over to Tony and looked him over, tapping the limited medic training he'd inherited from Solder Guy. His pulse was strong, his eyes were rolled up into his head, his breathing was strong, and he could tell with his enhanced hearing that his heart and lungs sounded regular. As he continued to look him over, he found no evidence of fractured bones nor hematoma, the only lingering visible evidence that this had happened in the first place seemed to be the beginnings of a nasty looking bump on his head. Simply put, the fucker was just unconscious.

Oh sure, Xander thought to himself, he could have a concussion, but he'd let his mother cart the dumb-ass off to the hospital. He'd done his part, especially when you consider the jackass had tried to sucker punch him.

With a smirk, Xander lifted him one handed by his shirt and flung Tony over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He knew that the old man weighted about 250lbs, but he felt almost weightless. It was disconcerting, but at the same time, it felt good. Really good.

Once he'd reached the top of the steps, Xander walked through the door to his parents' room. His mother was on the bed watching television.

"Oh my god!" she cried out, stinking of alcohol, bur seemingly somewhat sober. "What happened?"

"He tripped," Xander stated calmly, fighting off a smile.

"We have to get him to a hospital!" Jessica exclaimed. "He might be badly hurt."

"He's fine," Xander replied. "I already looked him over. He's out cold and has a bump on his head."

She bit her lip. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," Xander sighed, "Though there might be risk of a concussion, so if he's confused, sick, disoriented or..." Xander sighed. He's drunk. Same goddamn symptoms half the time. "Never mind, just take him to the hospital when he wakes up. I'm going out..."

"Are you sure that's a good idea, Alex?" his mother asked him, "Its getting late..."

"Yeah," Xander sighed, "I'll be fine..."

She nodded. "Just make sure you stay alright. Okay, honey?"

Xander smiled. While she was usually a drunken nitwit, it was still nice to have your mother show concern for your well being from time to time. "Sure thing, mom."

Xander spared his farther one last contemptuous glance before he left the room. If the old bastard remembered what happened, there might be hell to pay, but he'd probably forget. But really, even if he didn't, he'd just lift him by his neck, press him against a wall, and describe to the old bastard in graphic detail exactly what he'd do to him if he as much as opened his mouth.

As he entered his room, Xander immediately pulled his pistol and holster from his pants and placed them on his bed. Taking time to stretch, he grabbed a foot stool and walked over to his closet. It was a large walk in with a drop ceiling. Ah, drop ceilings, the perfect place to hide stuff you didn't want your parents to find, be it naughty magazines, money, or contraband weapons stolen from the United States Army.

Looking back to be sure his door was locked; he put down the stool and pulled out the plastic crate that held his little paramilitary care package.

Carefully stepping down, he walked over and placed it on his bed. Looking inside he took a mental inventory. US Army PASGT bulletproof vest, 12ga flare gun with flares, his Beretta 9mm pistol, spare magazines and ammunition for both weapons.

Calmly, he pulled out the vest and two rounds of .45 ACP hollow tip bullets, which he quickly used to reload the magazine of his granddad's gun. Pulling out the other two magazines, he closed up the box and placed it back in its hiding place.

Okay, everything that was blatantly illegal was out and in the open, time to downgrade to the damned shady. Kneeling, he pulled a large wooden box out from under his bed. Inside was his unofficial vampire hunter's kit. Crosses, stakes, bottles of holy water, a fire axe he'd stolen from the school, a machete he'd picked up at the local S-Mart, a folding utility knife, his grandfather's vicious looking old 10 inch bayonet, and the walky-talky he'd used during their operations during the summer. For a moment he glanced to the Japanese officer's sword hanging over his bed, he was sorely tempted but after a moment the experienced soldier won out over the teenager, and he decided not to.

Xander grabbed the bayonet, the utility knife, walky-talky, three stakes, and the silver cross on a chain he'd worn the entire summer. He'd considered getting holy water, but considering that he was going hunting with the Reverend Oz, he decided not to. The guitarist/preacher man kept at least three gallons of sanctified water in his van at all times. There really was no point in depleting his private supply. Throwing his weapons on his bed, he put the box back under and turned his attention to his wardrobe.

He was about to go hunting for Vampires, and unlike Buffy, he was one to take his own advice. Quickly, he grabbed a comfortable t-shirt, a heavy pair of jeans, and a leather jacket that ironically hadn't been worn since the last time he had the alpha rattling around inside his skull. Polishing off his hunting outfit, he grabbed a solid pair of work gloves, a heavy leather belt, and the pair of tan steel tipped boots he'd bought the summer before for when he helped his Uncle Rory work on his house.

Quickly he began to get dressed, changing out of his everyday wear into his combat gear, pausing only to grab the basic under-essentials from his dresser. Pants, boots, shirt, all went on without thought or comment. Next, he grabbed his bulletproof vest. He didn't know if he'd run into any vamps that used firearms, but it was best to err on the side of caution. He put it on, and pulled the leather jacket on over it. Sure, it was bulky and hot in the warm California weather, but compared to running around in full combat gear in Iraq, it was like a cool spring breeze. He'd manage.

Next, he grabbed his weapons. He strapped the bayonet to his side, and tucked the pistol and his magazines into his belt, their holsters keeping them snugly in place. The stakes and knife went into his pockets where they'd be easily accessible. Casually, he observed that in the future it might be a good idea to rig up some kind of holster for them for easy access, but first things first. He had vamps to kill.

Lastly, he pulled the cross over his neck, the silver showing up boldly against the black leather of his coat. Finally, he pulled the gloves on, clipped the walky-talky to his belt, and looked at himself.

He felt a bit bulky around the chest due to the vest under his jacket, but all in all, he was well protected from any minor injuries. Maybe in the future, it might be a good idea to invest in some kind of knee or shin padding, maybe some biker armor, but for the moment, he was good to go.

With a smile, Xander unlocked his door and went to his kitchen for a snack. Sure, he knew he'd eaten a monstrous amount that day, but considering the transformation he'd just undergone, he could understand that his body needed fuel. Hell, the muscle mass he'd packed on explained it alone. Silently, he compared himself to Buffy in the realm of consumption of foodstuffs. He didn't know how much Buffy ate before she became the Slayer, but now, when that girl was hungry she could pace him, the human garbage disposal, bite for bite. Now, if you took how much she ate, figured out the increase in appetite, and compared it to his body mass, Xander couldn't even imagine what his daily food bills would look like. He'd probably needed to eat enough to feed a small Bangallan village.

Humming a tune, which if he was even thinking about it, he'd recognize, oddly enough, as the _Halls of Montezuma_, he opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of Coke. Spinning around, he stepped over to the counter and pulled out a few packages of golden delicious Twinkies to enjoy both at home and in the field. After all, he reflected, an army travels on its stomach.

Ripping one packet open, he removed the delectable cream filled cake and all but shoved the entire thing into his ready and waiting mouth. He scowled slightly as he tasted the chemical hint of the preservatives, but with a shrug, he chewed and swallowed. Really, even with his improved pallet, the extreme sweetness all but covered over the chemical flavors, which was alright to him.

Taking a swig of soda, he glanced at the clock. Oz would be there any moment. Stifling a yawn, he walked into his living room and plopped down in his couch, keeping an eye on the outside. He couldn't wait for the chance to let loose, to see what this little upgrade had given him.

Already he knew that his senses were much more sensitive. He was still blown over by the almost overwhelming number of odors he was able to pick up, he could see clearly at night with only minimal illumination, and he just hoped that he'd get used to hearing the shallow buzz of the house's electrical systems all the time, lest he slowly go nuts. His physical enhancements were more difficult to place. He knew he was strong, but he didn't know how strong, nor did he know how fast or tough he was. Hopefully beating the crap out of a few vamps would fill him in.

Xander smiled as he saw Oz's van though the window. Time for some action!

Feeling as anxious as a kid on Christmas, Xander jumped to his feet and bolted out the door, stopping only to grab his keys.

"Hey Oz," he exclaimed as he walked up on his friend's van, "Ready to go killing?"

Oz blinked. "I thought you'd describe it more as going 'hunting', Hyena-Guy."

"Not at all, Wolf-Man," Xander counted, as he jumped in the passenger's side. "The word 'hunting' implies the there is a possibility of failure, no matter how remote. We're going 'killing'."

"You can't kill the dead," Oz remarked with a reserved smile, and he started off down the street.

"_Un_dead is not dead enough." Xander grinned. "All it shows is that they need to be given a bit more 'kill'..."

Ox shrugged. "Just as long as it's not overkill."

"Someone needs to tell you Solder Guy's first rule of overkill..." Xander thought aloud.

"What's that?"

"'Overkill' is a fictional concept that was invented by hippies and communists in order to save enemy lives." Xander's grin grew vicious. "There is no such thing."

"What's it with you and Communists?" Oz wondered, "I mean you seem somewhat obsessed..."

Xander scoffed. "You try living the Cold War, dedicating your life to killing Reds, seeing all the sadistic shit the Commies pulled in Cambodia, while being treated like a pariah at home and called a baby killer by a bunch of naive Little Red Book waving hippies for daring to have the stones to put boot to ass for your country, ironically enough, preserving said pinko scum's right to bitch and moan..."

Oz blinked. "Just don't go bombing the offices of the Sunnydale Communist party, okay...?"

Xander glanced at the werewolf levelly, unflinching, unblinking, totally cold. Oz had to admit, it was damned creepy. "We have a communist party?"

"Yeah," the guitarist replied.

Xander's eyes narrowed to slits. "And how would you know that?"

Oz grimaced. "Devon joined as a gag."

"Not funny," Xander replied with a deep set scowl. "Not funny at all."

------------- ------------- 

Alexander LeVelle Harris slowly stalked through the shadows of the Sunnydale night with an ease that was almost disturbing. Not making a sound, even in his heavy work boots, he was like a shadow, a silent predator searching for prey.

Looking behind him he watched Oz follow, camcorder in hand. They'd decided to bring it to give him a chance to review his handy work once the slayage was over. By watching himself fight, he'd be able to gauge himself against Buffy and Faith, get a good feel for his abilities so he could work better with the team.

Unfortunately, it seemed that vamps were kind of like the police. Whenever you want to find them they're nowhere to be found, but if you don't want anything to do with them, they're popping out of the wood work. While he knew it had as much to do with their hunting grounds as anything, they'd decided to hit up areas that the Slayers didn't often patrol to avoid being found out, he was getting damned frustrated.

With a growl of annoyance, he pulled out his radio. "Nighthawk to Wolfman, copy?"

"Loud and clear, Nighthawk," Oz replied over the walky-talky. "What's the sitch?"

"Any leach sightings?"

"Negative"

Xander winced. "Damn. Nighthawk out."

Xander sighed and clipped the radio back onto his belt. Looking around he casually observed that they were getting close to the University of California Sunnydale campus. They never really patrolled this area, in fact, looking back, he didn't know if they'd even looked into it. Bad idea considering that it was potentially a vampire buffet. Many vamps liked younger victims, which the campus would be loaded with, especially when you consider that many of the people here would be even more in the dark about the night-life than the average Sunnydaler. He'd only seen it a couple of times, be he also remembered the campus being rather wide open and somewhat poorly lit. Perfect for nocturnal predators...

He scowled. He'd patrol it tonight, but he'd talk to the others about patrolling it tomorrow, or rather, when he no longer needed his own hunting ground.

"Nighthawk to Wolf-man," he said into his radio. "Form up."

"Loud and Clear, Nighthawk." Oz replied, "Wolf-man out."

Xander put his radio away as Oz walked up to him.

"So, what's the plan?" Oz asked his friend.

Xander glanced over. "Let's hit up the UCS campus. Buffy and Faith never patrol it, and it's almost a perfect vamp hunting territory. I think we'll defiantly find some hostiles."

Oz nodded. "Cool. Right behind you."

Xander nodded, and the two returned to their patrol formation, with Oz several yards behind Xander. As they entered the campus, Xander's ear twitched. He heard something.

A woman crying for help.

Xander's eyes narrowed and he bolted off in the direction of the cry. "Wolf-man, contact, 10 o'clock." He growled into his radio. "Moving to intercept."

"Roger..."

Xander ran at full speed towards the general location of the target. Looking forward, his superior night vision cutting through the darkness of the night he saw three men circled around a frightened woman. He sneered. It was either vampires or a rape. Either way, he'd have no problem sending the perpetrators a one way ticket to Hurtsville.

Drawing his bayonet, he casually leapt over a hedge that was in his way, surprising himself when he managed to get a ten foot clearance. Landing comfortably he slowed down and began to stalk his prey.

Looking at the three targets more clearly now, he knew they were definitely vamps. All the brows and golden eyes were a dead give away. No pun intended…

Taking a deep breath, his nose was assaulted by a strange, unnatural scent. The vampires smelled musty. They didn't smell like death as he had expected, but they smelled a bit old, a bit musty, a bit... dusty. Kinda like Giles' books, really. It was not wholly unpleasant odor, but it was surely not a natural scent for a human. Though he had to admit, that it was ironic, considering that they were about to become dust.

"Hey baby," the head vamp crooned to the frightened girl. "Don't worry. Soon it'll all be better. You'll never have anything to worry about. No more books, no more school, and you'll be able to hang with guys like us forever..."

Xander shuddered. Now there was a nightmare.

"No!" the girl cried out in terror, backing up. "Just leave me alone! I don't want to..."

The head vamp grinned as his companions laughed. "Babe, you don't have any choice in the..."

What ever the vampire was going to say died on his tongue as Xander threw his bayonet. The blade flew straight and true, imbedding its self in the vampire's brain stem deep enough that the tip of the blade actually protruded from of the vampire's mouth.

With a sound that was somewhere between a whimper and a moan, the vampire fell forward like a sack of potatoes. The only movement he seemed to be capable of was a kind of slight epileptic shake.

Xander grinned. One down, two to go.

"Holy shit!" one of the two remaining bloodsuckers exclaimed.

"You son of a bitch!" roared the other, charging Xander.

Before his upgrade, Vampires had always looked so inconceivably fast and graceful to Xander. It had always awed him how Buffy was able to just simply disregard their gifts and treat them like they were nothing more than punks.

Now, he could see where she was coming from. Before, this vamp would have been a superhuman nocturnal predator that was totally over his head. Now, he was just sloppy thug about to get the last ass whipping of his unlife.

The vampire punched at him with a hay-maker. One that obviously packed a lot of force, but was so choreographed that it wouldn't have looked out of place on an episode of Xena.

Acting almost on instinct, Xander side stepped the punch, and grabbed the vampire by the wrist. The demon let out a scream of surprise and pain as Xander twisted him into a lock and smashed him in the elbow. With a wet snap and a cry of agony, the vampire's arm was left hanging at an unnatural angle.

Behind him Xander caught a flash of movement and the other vampire, was charging to catch him in a classic football tackle. On instinct alone, Xander flung the wounded vampire towards his comrade. He could not help but smile as the screaming improvised missile smashed into his comrade dead center. What surprised the Demon Hunter though, was that the force of his throw was not only enough to send the charging vampire falling onto his ass, but sent them both flying backwards and tumbling in the dirt.

Glancing down at his hand, Xander could only smile. He had never seen Buffy do anything quite like that. Could it be? Could he be physically stronger than a Slayer?

Not wanting to debate the point, he crossed the fifteen foot distance between himself and his foes in a blink. In front of him, the vampire with the broken arm was struggling to get to his feet, while the other was already up and shaking off his disorientation.

For a moment, the Hunter considered reaching for his stakes, but he decided not to. He wanted to figure out what he could do, and he had two perfectly fine punching bags standing right in front of him.

Xander kicked the still rising vampire in the neck with all his strength. He could not help but get a thrill out of the result, as the vampire was actually lifted off the ground and sent flying.

Without stopping, Xander continued onto the next, laying into him with a flurry of blows. Each hit caused noticeable damage to the vamp. Cuts scrapes, even a bloody nose. The most satisfying though, was his finisher, a powerful uppercut right to the chin that sent the vampire to his ass in a spray of broken teeth.

Using the moment, Xander glanced to the other vamp. He was surprised to see the vampire lying on the ground in shock with his head bent at an unnatural angle. He actually kicked him hard enough to break his neck?! Cool!

Xander's internal revelry was interrupted when the final, wounded vampire charged him, sending him crashing to the ground and landing on his back. Sitting on his chest, the vampire sent down blow after blow. They hurt, sure, but they felt nothing like the bone shattering strikes that had once been a Vampiric hallmark in his mind.

"Get off!" Xander snarled as he grabbed the vampire by the collar and pulled him into a powerful head butt.

The vampire fell back dazed, and the Hunter climbed to his feet. Seeing the vamp trying to rise, he kicked it in the stomach with enough force to double him over.

With a grin, Xander reached down and grabbed the parasitic creature and lifted him off the ground. Time for a little test. There was a tree about 30 feet away and there was one branch that was all broken, sharp, and looked perfect for killing vamps.

"Let's do a little test," Xander remarked. "See how much range I can get with you..."

With that said, Xander threw the vampire into the air and towards the tree with all of his strength. Xander was impressed to see that the vampire did indeed fly far enough and with enough force to be impaled on the branch. Unfortunately, it impaled the vamp though the stomach and not the heart. He didn't dust, but he sure as hell could scream.

Reaching into his pocket, Xander withdrew one of his stakes. Flipping it over in his hand, he glanced up at the vampire. A thrown stake never worked, that is, unless you're named Buffy... but with his new powers?

He grinned. Maybe...

Xander threw the stake, and was disappointed to see it bounce off the vampire as it struck him with the blunt end.

He'd try again.

Once again, Xander let the stake fly, and once again, missed the mark. The vampire let out an agonized screech as the stake imbedded itself in a lung.

Closer. Third time's a charm?

Xander drew his last stake and threw it at the vamp. This time, the stake flew straight and true, hitting the vamp right in the heart.

"Score!" Xander exclaimed, arms in the air with an ear to ear grin as the demonically animated corpse exploded into a cloud of dust.

Walking over to the tree, Xander grabbed the stake that didn't dust with the two vamps and surveyed the situation. There were two crippled vamps lying on the ground. Oz was standing behind him looking winded, with a video camera in one hand, a cross in the other, and a frightened blonde holding onto him for dear life.

Looking at the two disabled vampires, a thin smile came to Xander's face.

Walking to the one with the broken neck, he quickly patted him down, searching him for any possible valuables.

"Hey, Xander," Oz asked as he lowered the camera. "What are you doing?"

"Making slaying pay," Xander replied and he pulled a wallet. Looking inside, he found a drivers license that had expired in 1967 and 300 dollars cash.

"What are these things?!" the frightened girl shrieked.

Xander looked down, and staked the vampire in front of him. "Vampires."

The girl paled as she saw her 'mugger' disintegrate into dust.

"There's no such thing!" she stammered, in an unsteady voice.

Xander stood up and walked to the other, patting him down while speaking to the girl.

"Then how else do you explain people who say they'll drink your blood, have funky Klingon foreheads, freaky yellow eyes, and who explode into dust when you kill them?"

She blinked. "I... I don't know..."

Looking dejected and frightened she asked. "What were they going to do to me...?"

"From the sound of it," Xander thought aloud, "They were going to drink your blood and turn you into a vampire."

She gulped. "How bad is being turned?"

"If you were turned it wouldn't be you, it would be a soulless monster in human drag wearing your face and memories to kill people and do horrible things."

"Oh my god..." the girl whimpered. "That's... evil..."

"Bingo," Xander replied as he pulled out the head vamp's wallet. "This isn't..." he glanced inside the wallet."Harvey Dunkirk?" he laughed. "What kind of stupid name is Harvey Dunkirk?"

The paralyzed vampire gargled in anger, causing the girl to jump.

"Anyways, this isn't 'Harvey'. It's the thing that killed him, and it almost killed you."

Xander pulled the bayonet from the Vampire's neck and offered the stake to the girl. "It's yours."

She looked at the stake in some trepidation. "Wa-what do you want me to do with this..."

"Stake him."

"What?" the girl asked in confusion.

"Take that wooden stake and ram it into his heart."

She palled. "I can't... I can't kill someone. "

"Like I said, this isn't a person."

She paused and nodded slowly. She spent a moment building up the courage before ramming the stake into the Vampire's back. She jumped as it crumbled to dust.

"Wow..." she managed to mutter out. "That's just not right..."

Xander laughed. "Tell me about it..."

Gulping, she looked at Xander. "What else can hurt them?"

"All the Dracula standards," he replied, "Decapitation, stake through the heart, fire, crosses, holy water, and sunlight are the biggies."

She nodded. "Are there many of these things around?"

"Yeah," he replied, "Sunnydale is infested with them... every time you go out at night; you're risking your life."

She bit her lip. "Really...?"

He nodded.

The girl took a deep breath. "Okay, that's it. Once finals are finished, I'm going to transfer to another school!"

"Good idea," Oz remarked.

Pausing for a moment, the girl smiled and looked at Xander seductively. "I never gave you my name... I'm Sunday." She paused, "I'm pretty shaken up so I'd like to know if you'd be kind enough to... escort me to my room?" she smiled. "I think my roommate would like your friend here..."

Xander tensed as the smell of the college girl's hormones assaulted him like a punch in the face. She was a fine looking woman. Honey blond hair, pert breasts, round ass, long legs, an hourglass figure... defiantly not a girl any man would say no to a roll in the hay with. In fact he could smell the sweet excitement just wafting off her... the interesting sensation of lust and excitement mixed with just a hint of fear. It set his blood on fire. He just couldn't wait to rip off her clothes and...

Xander blinked. No! Bad Xander! Stay loyal to Cordy... Stay loyal to Cordy...

"We have girlfriends," Oz stated bluntly.

"Yeah," Xander added, "And in this town, never invite anyone into your room. Vampires can't come in unless you invite them. Also, it's a good idea to keep a mirror near your door to check for a reflection."

She sighed in disappointment, and then nodded. "Thank you for saving my life."

Xander nodded, trying to look her in the eyes, "Its all part of the job, ma'am."

She blinked. "What are you anyways? I mean, you were ripping into those things like Bruce Lee on PCP..."

Xander smirked. "I'm the Demon Hunter."

------------- ------------- 

Fox Mulder smiled as he sat down to watch one of his favorite films. Since he'd moved into this apartment with the others, he'd rarely been able to view films from his... collection. This mission was supposed to have been a short introduction, but it was now dragging well into its third month. Usually, they'd have been pulled out by now, having not heard anything reliable about the vampire 'Angel' since they'd arrived, but this place was turning out to be one hell of a Paranormal hot zone. Place was a real Hellmouth indeed. At times it almost seemed like they couldn't even go for a walk without bumping into some new oddity that was easily deserving of its own X-file.

So, while they were not actually fulfilling their mission, their results were enough that their bosses kept them on hand to keep up the investigation, if only as an excuse to keep a trio of agents at the location. In fact, he was starting to wonder if this entire mission was some kind of operational setup...

He couldn't help but chuckle. It was so ironic. He'd always wanted to discover 'The Truth' and expose it. Now he knew it, and was part of the organization that among other things was tasked with keeping it a secret. The strange thing though, was that he now understood why it was a secret. People were just not ready for 'The Truth', at least not all at once. He still believe that the people needed to be informed, but it had to be slowly so they could understand it, otherwise, there would be chaos. If that happened, many innocent people, both human and demonic, could suffer as a result.

He loved his new job, but he hated the shared apartment. While he liked the people, it really cramped his style. But with today being his night off, and with Myers and Scully checking out Willy's for any signs of Angel or the general paranormal unusual, he guessed that he'd have the time to spare to watch at least one of his movies...

Hitting the play button, he could only smile as the opening credits to his favorite Super Hero movie began to play...

That moment the door opened and Scully barged in dragging a wounded Myers into the apartment. Mulder jumped and smashed the power button on his remote, turning off the VCR before his partners could see what exactly he'd been watching.

"I can't believe there's more than one of those things..." Scully grumbled as she helped an injured Myers to a chair.

"More of those things?" asked Myers as he sat down, stomach into a chair to avoid sitting on the injury on his back.

"Take off your shirt," Scully remarked.

Myers acquiesced, showing as clear as day, a large gash in his back.

Mulder winced. "What happened?"

"It seems that Tooms had a sister," Scully remarked with a scowl and she began to clean Myer's wound.

Mulder cringed, remembering the Liver eating mutant contortionist that they'd encountered during their first year on the X-files.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Myers asked, fighting the urge to wince every time Scully touched his back.

"Eugene Victor Tooms. One of our first X-Files," Scully began, "He was some kind of genetic mutant that was able to contort his body to be able to fit through extremely narrow spaces, such as air vents, and he had an odd hibernation cycle. He would hibernate for thirty years and then would awaken, murder five people, eat their livers, and reenter hibernation."

Mulder nodded. "Yeah, that's about it... so you're telling me that there are more of him out there?"

Scully nodded. "Yes, we found a lead on a female of his kind at Willy's. We went to investigate..."

"And she tried to eat my liver," Myers finished.

Mulder blinked. "And here I thought he was one of a kind."

Myers shrugged. "Probably some kind of demon. Maybe we should find out."

Scully nodded. "Good idea. I'd like to know what the hell that thing is..."

"One tried to eat her liver," Mulder added with a smirk, earning a glare from his long time partner.

Myers shrugged. "I'll call Hellboy," pulling out his phone, he dialed his big red buddy. "Hi HB..."

He stretched his neck "Yeah, I'm fine. Just want to ask you a question..."

Jon winced. "Sorry to interrupt... Should I get off?"

"What's going on?" Scully asked.

Myers looked over. "He's watching the game."

She shrugged and went back to patching him up.

"Who was that?" Myers blinked. "Oh, that was Scully. She's just patching me up. Had a run in with a demon..."

Myers pulled the phone away from his head as Hellboy started to rage on the other end. "Don't worry, it's already dead. We just wanted to know if you could ID it... yellow eyes, tried to eat my liver?"

He paused as Hellboy thought on the other end. "Okay, a 'Leberesser'? Thanks man... later."

Myers pocketed his phone and looked to the others. "It was a demonic half-breed called a Leberesser. They're somewhat rare, very vicious, and have been on the record for centuries. They can regenerate so if you have to make sure they're dead."

Scully smirked. "Well, you don't have to worry about that with the bazooka you use."

Myers smiled. She was referring to his custom .50 Action Express Desert Eagle. It was a Christmas present from HB. Thing was huge, conspicuous, had a small magazine, and it kicked like a mule, but it was one of the only human useable handguns that could carry most of the BPRD's custom loads. Damn thing could probably take the head off a vampire through sheer kinetic force too. He'd only ever seen two bigger handguns: Hellboy's Samaritan and the oversized .454 Casull automatic used by that lunatic from Brittan.

Myers sighed and glanced over to Mulder. Raising an eyebrow he asked, "Were you watching a movie?"

Mulder grinned widely, a bit embarrassed at being caught red handed. "Ah, yeah..."

"What kind of movie?" Scully asked levelly, with a scowl. "It wasn't from your 'collection', was it?"

"Hey," Mulder replied indignity, "You said I could only watch them when no one else was home..."

"Yeah, but not in the _living room_!" Scully exclaimed. "I don't want to have to think about what you've touched and where your hands have been! Watch it in your room..."

"Fine, you win...," Mulder sighed and ejected his movie.

"So, what movie was it this time?" Myers asked.

"_Orgazmo_," Mulder replied.

"I heard about that one," Myers thought aloud, "First porno to make it big in the theaters since _Deep Throat_, right?"

"You know what?" Scully commented, "I just don't want to know..."

------------- ------------- 

As they drove away from the campus, Xander looked out the window of Oz's van, completely lost in thought. The transformation he'd undergone had been everything he had hoped for and more. When they'd conceived of it, they'd wanted a substitute Slayer. Someone who could fight vampires on their own level and have a chance against big bads. They'd never in their wildest dreams expected for the product of this little desperate experiment to create something that could match the Slayer, yet from the looks of it they did and then some.

Looking back, the fight seemed almost unfair. Tomorrow, he'd review the video with Ethan and try and sort out what they'd seen, but tonight, he just though about how it felt. Damn had it felt good.

Those three vamps didn't have a chance in hell against him. He basically tore them apart with the same ease that a vampire would tear apart three normal humans. He was faster than them, stronger than them, and if the way he'd barely felt the blows that last vamp had gotten in was any indicator, he was a lot tougher too. He was what Ethan had promised: a magically empowered warrior on the level of the Slayer.

For all the power though, for all the newfound strength and power coursing through his veins, he had to question, was it worth the cost? Already he felt like a different person. The memories and instincts that had come with the package were almost overwhelming. Just thinking of all the battles he'd seen through Soldier Guy's eyes, the horrors of war, it disturbed him on a level he'd almost thought to be impossible, and coming from a denizen of Sunnyhell, that's pretty rough.

There had also been the issue of his coordination. He was far faster and more agile than he'd ever been, but in that fight, it had been brute force and the ineptness of the vampires that had carried the day, and not his skills. He knew they were there; it's just that when he tried to apply them his body did not react as it should.

He paused.

Of course.

He knew what the problem was. He had all of Soldier Guy's memories and skills; the problem was that his body didn't. He needed to develop the muscle memory to go with the mental memory. His mind was expecting his body to respond like a well programmed machine but instead it was awkwardly trying to struggle though his unconscious mental commands and doing so with little of the grace or efficiency to which he was accustomed.

What was worse than the memories, worse than the awkwardness, were his new instincts. He could tolerate the predatory need for meat, he could even handle the impulse that told him ripping demonic heads off was a constructive, profitable, and fun pastime.

Those he could stand, he could live with them. The problem, the true problem, seemed to be wired directly into his sexual instincts. Before he'd been a healthy young man, that meaning he was always thinking about sex, but now it seemed to have become something frighteningly primal.

He shuddered as he thought back to how he'd reacted when he smelled Faith's scent. For that moment, that split second, he'd have sold his soul for an opportunity to have her. Even this last bit with Sunday had him on edge. Her body, her scent, all of it made him want to just rip her clothes off and do the bad thing with her as soon as possible. While he'd never cheat, such strong temptation was not easy on the soul.

He was afraid he'd loose control. He was afraid he would do something he'd regret. Something horrible that he'd never be able to take back.

"Something on your mind?" Oz asked as they drove through the Sunnydale streets.

"Not really, I'm fine" Xander replied, watching the buildings pass by, still lost in his own doubts.

"Don't look fine," Ox remarked. "You look worried about something."

"It's just..." Xander sighed, "I don't want to sound weird or anything, but..."

"Yeah? What's up?"

Xander glanced over to his friend. "You know what happened last time I had a primal spirit in me, right?"

Oz nodded. "Willow told me everything."

"I'm afraid that I'm, well, loosing control of my sex drive..." Xander admitted.

Oz blinked. "What gave you that idea?"

"Well," Xander began, "Today when I was talking with Faith she decided to play a trick on me. She made me smell her finger, and it seems that she'd been scratching some place _real_ private. I got one good whiff of her 'goods' and it was like someone rammed a cattle prod into my ear."

"Her pheromones set you off?"

"Big time."

Oz chuckled. "I'd have jumped out of my skin too."

Xander blinked. "You serious?"

"Oh yeah," Oz replied, "I have wolf senses, remember?"

"Okay, point," Xander replied. "The other thing that got me was Sunday. For a moment I was really tempted to take her up on her offer."

"You're actually freaked about that?" Oz shook his head. "Now you're just being paranoid."

"Hey!" Xander snapped. "What makes you so sure?"

"That girl was a babe," Oz chuckled, "I'd have been more worried if you _weren't_ interested."

"So you would have..."

"If I wasn't with Willow, yes," Oz admitted, "But I don't want to hurt her."

Xander laughed. "Alright. So, you think I'm okay?"

Oz grinned. "Just take some cold showers or something. It's nothing to worry about."

"Thanks man," Xander paused for a moment. "So why were you panting like that when I stopped fighting?"

Oz looked at Xander incredulously. "Not all of us can run at like _thirty-five miles per hour_, man."


	5. Chapter 5

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offence to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 5: School Daze  
By PsyckoSama

Xander's eyes burst open as the thunderous roar of his alarm clock resonated through his head as if someone had snuck in to his room, put a full concert speaker setup in his ear, and started blasting bad Scandinavian Death Metal directly into his skull. Flailing for the clock, he grabbed hold of it in a death grip, trying to fumble his way to the off switch. Usually his grip would have just made that cool straining sounds that you sometimes got when you grasped a plastic item too hard. With his new strength though, the plastic clock crumpled like a beer can and its delicate internals were all but turned to powder.

"Shit," Xander remarked as he let what remained of his clock fall to his floor. That had hurt like a bitch. Apparently loud blaring alarm clocks and supersensitive hearing did not mix, especially when said alarm clock was usually kept about 10 inches from ones' head.

With a loud yawn, Xander stretched, working the kinks out of his muscles and glanced down to the pile of debris on the floor. He needed an alarm clock, but he had a feeling he'd probably be running though the conventional type rather quickly. Radio clock maybe?

Throwing off his sheets he absent mindedly walked over to a full length mirror and looked at himself. He wasn't much bigger than he'd been prior to his transformation, but he had much better definition. Before he'd been in good shape, as hunting the so called children of the night was one of those past times where you either got in shape or you got dead. Now though, he looked like an action movie hero: athletic, powerful muscles that looked like steel cable just sitting under the surface of the skin. Cordy would be thrilled. She always dug buff guys, and now she had one of her very own.

Xander paused. Oh. Shit.

He was a bad boyfriend. BAD BOYFRIEND, BAD! He'd been so caught up with this whole 'superhuman vamp slaying machine with gifts comparable to those of the Slayer' thing that he'd forgotten one very important thing: informing his girlfriend that he'd turned himself into said 'superhuman vamp slaying machine with gifts comparable to those of the Slayer'. He may be able to rip a vampire limb from limb, to shrug off hits that would have put him in traction this time last week, but Cordy... she was going to KILL him.

He sighed. Oh well. He'd deal with that when he got to it. After all, he remembers some of the stuff his soldiering alter ego had encountered before. If he could survive Mogadishu, he could survive Cordelia. There was a chance. Possibly. Maybe.

Regardless though, he hadn't woken up several hours early after a late night of vampire dismemberment to fret about his relationship with his girlfriend. He did it so he could train.

Looking at the mirror, Xander thought about what skills he'd practice first, which he felt needed to be pounded into his body first. After a moment, he decided that he'd start with some martial arts... after all, Soldier Guy did pick up a couple of Black Belts during the 70s and all...

------------- ------------- 

Xander sneered slightly as he entered the kitchen. As usual his mother was up early, though not to make breakfast or get her family ready for the day like most normal women, but to grab herself a bowl of cereal and a nice stiff drink in peace before she started the day.

"Hello, Alex," his mother greeted as he entered the room.

"Hold on, mom," Xander absently stated, "I'll get you a drink."

"Thank you for the thought," She chirped happily, as she opened a bottle of Jack Daniels. "But I've already got one."

"No mom," Xander replied as he placed his hand over her glass. "I was thinking more in the line of orange juice."

Jessica paused for a moment and smiled. "I could go for a screwdriver..."

Xander shook his head. "No alcohol, I need you sober for this," cracking a grin, he added, "Besides, your liver could use a break."

Jessica frowned but recapped her JD bottle. "What is it, Alexander?"

Xander sighed and walked over to the fridge. While she rarely cooked, and when she did, it was rarely any good, his mother liked to keep a loaded fridge just in case. Absently, he pulled out the bacon, eggs, and grabbed a loaf of bread from the pantry.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Making breakfast, mom," he replied, "They say it's the most important meal of the day after all, and besides, its always better to talk over a nice hot meal. Especially when you're talking crazy."

His mother nodded. "Alright, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

Xander grinned. "Never underestimate the persuasive power of food."

Jessica cracked a smile at her son's levity. "Alex..."

Xander smiled and put the pans on the burners and greased them up. In one he put the full pound of bacon. He knew he was an eating machine and that if he didn't eat it all, he'd probably be gnawing his arm off by second period. In the other he was ready to drop in the eggs. Personally, he intended to just scramble seven or eight of them for himself. While he liked them with the sunny side up, he just didn't have time to cook half the carton like that. His mother on the other hand, he'd take the extra effort as she'd only have a couple...

"Mom," He asked, "How do you want your eggs."

Jessica blinked. "I'll have them scrambled..."

Xander smiled and began to whip most of the carton with a pinch of salt and a nice healthy dash of milk. Less work for him.

"Alex," his mother inquired, "Since when have you been able to cook?"

Since the day before yesterday, when he had the entire life's experience of a highly skilled and decorated war veteran downloaded into his head, among other things. Sure, he didn't say that even though it was the truth. He had to admit that he was damned lucky that he had soldier guy knocking around in his skull. Sure, there were drawbacks like the whole life time of war, but it was more than offset by the other elements both major and minor. Everything from insane fighting skills to knowing how to cook.

Pouring the whipped eggs into the pan, he thought back to his new skill set and how they felt. They were there, surely enough, but they felt a bit rusty. It was different than when he only had access to Soldier Guy's knowledge. It had been like they'd just been downloaded into his brain, not natural but still at his command. This on the other hand, was similar, but different. They were not originally his but they were still part of him. For lack of a better description, it was like riding a bike for the first time in years. It might feel awkward because you're not used to it, but all you have to do is just ride a bit and get back in the swing of things.

"Just something I picked up," Xander replied.

"You always were a smart boy," Jessica reflected.

Xander froze in surprise, almost dropping his spatula. Every once in a while his mother would compliment him. Call him a nice boy, a smart boy, a sweet boy, and generally say something kind. What made this so different though was that she was sober. He could barely even smell the alcohol on her so he knew she hadn't been drinking this morning. His mom was sober and said something nice about him...

It gave him a nice warm, happy feeling inside.

"Thanks mom."

Jessica nodded. "Something's different about you, Alex..."

Xander froze for the second time in so many seconds. Oh great, something had changed that his mother had noticed. If he'd suddenly grown gills or something, he was going to roll Ethan up into a ball and cram the limey lunatic into a mail box...

"How so, mom?" he asked, wearily.

"I'm not sure," his mother admitted, "You just seem so much... stronger, more centered, than you used to."

Xander grinned. The woman had _no_ idea.

"I've just grown up a bit, mom," Xander replied with a smile.

Jessica nodded. "I'm just glad that you're turning out to be such a special young man."

Xander's grin grew into a smirk. Once again, she had no idea. Still, he was happy that she was picking up on it. In fact, it actually gave him a kind of smug satisfaction that one could tell that he wasn't just a Donut Boy by looking at him.

"Thanks mom," he replied as he let the pans sit for a moment, and pulled out the bread for toast. "So, where's Tony?"

Jessica scowled. Xander knew she hated it when he referred to his old man by his given name. "Your father is in the hospital. They wanted to wait until he was sober before they did any tests."

Served the jackass right.

"I hope he's not too badly hurt," Xander remarked half-heartedly and he popped half a loaf of bread into the toaster oven.

"Why are you cooking so much?" Jessica wondered, "Is anyone else coming over?"

"Nah," Xander replied. "I'm just a growin' boy. That's all."

"We'll, I'll never doubt your appetite, that's for sure," Jessica jested, "Even when you were little you were almost able to out eat your father."

"Well, not all of us can subsist on a diet of pure Vodka and Whiskey," Xander snarked.

"**Alexander!**"

"What?" Xander asked, as he slipped back over to the fridge and pulled out the orange juice. Poring each of them a glass of OJ and Milk, he returned it to the fridge.

"He's your father," Jessica remarked. "You shouldn't say cruel things about him."

Xander sighed and looked his mother in the eyes. "Mom, I love you, but I don't like you when you drink."

Jessica reeled back as if she'd been slapped. "Alex..."

Xander sighed and placed her drinks in front of her before making a decent sized plate of eggs toast, and bacon, leaving himself with a veritable mountain of food.

"I don't blame you, I blame Tony. He's the one who drove you to drink, he's the one who I've always had to make excuses for with my friends, and, he's the one who always humiliates us in public."

Jessica shrank back. "Alex, I..."

"Mom," Xander sighed, "If you want to do me a favor, cut back on the drinking."

"Alright," she acquiesced. "I'll try..."

Xander smiled, and in a stern, high pitched voice he replied. "Do, or do not. There is no try."

She frowned. "Quoting Yoda?"

Xander smirked. "Hey, the little green Muppet had a point..."

"Alright," she sighed, "I'll do it."

"Good," Xander replied, "Now comes the crazy part... because I didn't ask you to sit with me so I could talk about your drinking."

She frowned. "What are you talking about."

He sighed. "Mom, have you ever thought about this town? I mean, how many unexplained deaths there are? In most cities the cops would look into it, but here they seem to be ignoring it, or always coming up with lame excuses. Hell, have you ever wondered why a town that's only 100 years old needs twelve cemeteries?"

She nodded. "I've noticed there's something wrong, but I've never known why..."

"I know why," Xander replied, "But the reason is pretty crazy... but I swear on my mother's life..."

"_Hey_!" she snapped.

"That I'm telling the complete truth. Do you promise that you'll still give me the benefit of the doubt?"

She nodded.

"I'll tell you the way just the way I was told..." he took a deep breath, and in a faux British accent, he began, "Contrary to popular mythology, the world did not begin as a paradise. For untold eons demons walked the Earth. They made it their home, their Hell. But in time they lost their purchase on this reality. The way was made for mortal animals, for, for man. All that remains of the old ones are vestiges, certain magics, certain creatures, like vampires."

"Vampires," Jessica replied levelly, "You seriously expect me to believe it's the fault of vampires? I can't believe you're trying to tell me something this ridiculous."

"I know," Xander replied, "It sounds ridiculous, I know. In fact I thought it was a bunch of bullshit until I was forced to ram a wooden stake into my best friend's heart and watch him crumble to dust!"

Jessica gasped. "Jessie... that's what happened to Jessie?"

"Yes," Xander replied.

Jessica scowled. "You're telling me your best friend was turned into one of these vampires and you killed him? Why?"

Xander sighed. "Vampires are not like they are in, say, those shitty Anne Rice books. When someone is turned into a vampire, they die. The person's soul takes a hike and a demon takes over their body. A vampire is a demon in human drag. They wear a human body like a 'people suit'. I didn't kill Jessie. I killed the thing that killed him, stole his body, and perverted his personality."

Jessica nodded. "Alright, I believe you... I think."

"Good," Xander replied, "If you want, and you're willing to stay dry, I'll take you out on patrol one night so I can show you these things for real, and how to kill them."

"Hold on!" Jessica squeaked, "Patrol? How to kill them?"

"Someone has to keep the world safe."

"Are you crazy?" She cried out, "You'll get yourself killed!"

"Someone has to fight," Xander snapped.

"But why you?" she asked with a frown.

Xander sighed. "Like all stories worth telling, this starts with a girl. How does that speech go again..." He paused for a moment. "Oh yeah, here we go: 'Into each generation a Slayer is born, one girl in all the world, a Chosen One, one born with the strength and skill to hunt the vampires, to stop the spread of their evil'..."

Jessica scowled. "Buffy."

Xander nodded. "Yep."

Jessica stood up, her face a mask of rage. "That little bitch has you out running around, risking your life to do her job for her?!"

"**Mom!**" Xander growled, "She has asked me time and time again to leave it to her. I can't do that. I can't just close my eyes. These things killed my best friend, just like they've killed so many other innocent people. I can't just sit back and let people die..."

"But _you'll_ die!" Jessica cried out.

"Then I'll die, but I'll go out knowing that I went out protecting humanity and the world." he looked her dead in the eyes. "Sunnydale used to be known as Bocca del Inferno, that's Spanish for 'the Mouth of Hell'. It's just not a cute name either, it's a literal description. This town is sitting on top of a Hellmouth, a dimensional gateway to Hell, in fact it's right under the High School and I can't understate how bad it would be if someone managed to open it."

"People have tried?" she asked in horror.

"People, no," he stated, "Demons, plenty. We just don't just slay vamps, we save the world."

Jessica nodded slowly. "So this is all real? There are really demons, your friend Buffy is a kind of magical Vampire Slayer, your high school is sitting on a gateway to Hell, and you and your friends spend your nights hunting monsters and saving the world?"

"In a nutshell, yeah," Xander remarked.

Jessica sighed, "Alex, I just don't know what to say..."

"It's hard to stomach, I know, but I can prove it if you want."

She nodded. "Okay, I think I need to see this for myself."

"Cool. I'll come up with a night," he thought aloud. "But you'll have to be sober."

Jessica smiled and looked back to her breakfast. Lightly, but clearly audible to Xander's superhuman hearing she whispered, "My baby's a superhero..."

------------- ------------- 

Xander smiled as he walked into Sunnydale high school. Xander had a feeling that his life was about to take a turn for the better, and just not in slay related issues. He felt that his last year of high school would be a good one. He now had access to decades of experience and knowledge, including high school, college, and general life experiences. He was ready to rock and roll. Taking a deep breath, his internal revelry stopped. Shit.

"Mr. Harris..."

Xander growled under his breath. Snyder. He guessed that his new nose was not infallible if that douche bag had been able to get close.

"Now, where were you yesterday? We can't have you juvenile delinquents off rampaging on the street. Tell me, or you'll be in detention until Graduation, which I assure you, you're not going to be taking part of."

Xander took a deep breath to center himself. The man was so small, so delicate. He would not be able to put up a fight. Just a sharp twist and he'd be gone...

"Well, Mr. Harris..." the principle growled.

Xander's eyes narrowed. He knew what Snyder was, a bully. A petty Napoleon, in both attitude and stature. Best way to deal with him is to put him is his place and show him who's the Alpha."

"You live at 742 Evergreen Terrace. You drive a blue 1996 Honda Acura." Xander squinted to read the plates of the car, which was on the other side of the parking lot. "TK-421..."

Snyder's eyes narrowed to slits. "Is that supposed to be a threat?"

Xander smiled like the predator he was, and looked deep into Snyder's eyes. His gaze was level, cool, almost emotionless, but held under the surface a veneer of pure vicious bloodlust that only a fool could miss. "No, just an observation. Another observation is that lots of bad things happen to people in this town."

Xander paused as a wave of guilt hit him over what he was about to say. Still though, it was a powerful weapon and it would hit this little sack of shit right where it hurt.

"In fact your predecessor was killed in his own office by 'wild dogs', now wasn't that unfortunate?" Xander's smile widened into a wide, vicious grin. "Wasn't it?"

Snyder unconsciously took a step back. "Yes..."

"I so agree," Xander stated, "He was actually a decent person. You could stand to learn from his example. Maybe if you do, you might be able to avoid an unfortunate run in with a 'gang high on PCP', if you get what I mean..."

"I... I will not stand for these threats from a student!" Snyder weakly exclaimed trying desperately to hold onto the last floundering fragments of his authority.

"I don't make threats," Xander replied, his voice, low, level, and dangerous. "I'm giving you a warning. If I wanted you dead, all the police would find would find an unfortunate suicide or another 'wild dog attack'. Leave me and mine alone and I'll leave you alone. In fact, we'll do our civil duty, something you wouldn't know shit about, and make sure that the weirdness that infests his town stays out of this goddamn school. Am I clear?"

"Yes," Snyder replied, almost quivering with fear.

"Good," Xander replied, "Now get the hell out of my sight."

Without hesitation, the principle turned around and stormed off into the school. Moments later Xander could hear his voice resonating through the halls, doubtlessly venting his frustrations on some poor unfortunate freshmen or another.

"Xander!" 

Xander smiled and turned around. "Hey Wills... Buff."

Willow looked into the school and scowled. "Was Snyder giving you trouble, Xander?" she asked, "I mean it looked like he was giving you trouble but then he just ran off real quickly..."

Xander shrugged. "I don't thin he's going to be giving us any problems for a while. We had a little 'chat'."

"Xander," Buffy cut in, "Why are you in that jacket?"

Xander winced. Oh yeah. Last time he'd worn his leather coat to school the damned primal had been dominate. No wonder Buffy would notice.

"Just trying to look a bit more stylish," Xander admitted as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Day-glow Hawaiian shirts have their appropriate time and place..."

Buffy blinked. "They do?"

"Sure they do!" Xander replied with a wide grin. While he might be the cooler and more badass Demon Hunter, he was not going to abandon his unique sense of style.

Buffy scoffed. "If you say so."

"Xander, where the hell were you yesterday?"

Xander grinned as he heard Cordelia coming up from behind him. Taking a deep whiff to remember her scent, he twisted around, catching her in his arms and pulling her into a deep passionate kiss. For a moment, the girl's eyes bugged out and she tried to fight the surprise smooching attack, but after a moment, she melted into his arms.

For a moment a small shiver of lust made its way up his spine. He could think of a fun place to take this moment, but he digressed, he was going to leave that in Cor's hands. Still, he enjoyed her taste.

After a long, drawn out moment, he released her. Cordelia stepped backwards and shook her head, trying to clear it. "Wow... That was like... wow..."

Xander grinned. "Like it?"

She took a deep breath and scowled at him, or rather, she tried to. "When did you become all mister hot kisser in a leather jacket?"

Xander pouted comically, "If you don't like it I could go back to the Hawaiian shirts..."

"NO!" Cordelia exclaimed. "I mean it's just a bit different..."

Xander shrugged. "I've just been going though a bit of a change. By the way, I like the perfume. Lilac?"

Cordelia blinked, honestly surprised he had noticed it. "You like it?"

He nodded. "Its nice. I don't really think its all you, but it is nice."

"Well if it isn't the geek patrol..."

Cordelia sighed. "Hello Harmony."

Xander growled slightly. The girl even smelled like a slut. He was half tempted to start mocking her cheap, over strong perfume but that would be stooping to her level, and he could think of far better insults than that.

Harmony sighed dramatically, and shook her head in disgust. "I can't believe that you have the nerve to actually make out with this dork in public. I mean, how the mighty have fallen... you actually used to be someone."

Cordelia growled and began to respond, but Xander kissed her on the cheek, silencing her.

"Don't mind her, babe," he replied, "She just doesn't know what a functional monogamous relationship looks like." He paused and looked at Harmony. "By the way, the football team was asking about you."

Harmony blinked. "What?"

"They said their fluffer was missing," Xander all but cooed though a thin, mischievous smile.

Harmony could only blink. "What the hell is a Fluffer?"

Xander shrugged innocently. "I don't know, why don't you go and ask the football team. They'll know."

She scowled. "Fine, I'll do that!" With a huff, the blonde crossed her arms and stormed off.

Cordelia blinked then glared at Xander, obviously angry that he'd stolen her thunder. "Hey, what's the big idea..."

"Cordelia, don't you know what a fluffer is?" Willow asked, her voice almost a squeak and her face a shade of red that just about matched her hair.

"Willow..." Xander wondered, "Is there something you're not telling us..."

"Yeah," Buffy asked, "I mean, what is a Fluffer anyways..."

"Yes Willow," Xander said slowly, "What is a Fluffer..."

Willow shrank back under their gaze, her face slowly becoming more and more red. "I... I... I..."

Walking up to the group, Oz glanced at his girlfriend who looked like she'd disappear if she could, and asked. "What's the problem?"

"Willow was just about to tell us what a Fluffer was." Cordelia replied.

Oz's left eyebrow just about shot to his hairline. "Oh, really..."

Willow looked to her boyfriend with soulful puppy dog eyes that just begged for him to save her. Getting the message, Oz could only sigh.

"A Fluffer," the taciturn reverend began, "Is someone in the porn industry who's job it is to prepare the male actors for filming by ensuring that they are... up to the task."

Cordelia's jaw dropped and she glanced over to Xander. "Where did you think of an insult like that?"

He grinned. "Lessons from the beautiful Queen C, the Mistress of Disrespect."

Cordy grinned. "You say the sweetest things."

Xander smirked. "That's not the best part."

Cordy laughed. "I know! She went off to ask the football team!"

"Maybe she'll get lucky and ask Larry," Buffy reflected.

"Nah," Xander grinned, "God ain't _that_ merciful."

------------- ------------- 

Xander sighed as he walked into Spanish class. Spanish. Why the hell did he ever want to learn about Spanish? All those accents and up-side-down questions marks. He had to have been insane. Especially since Senora Gomez seemed to be a couple of chilies short of a relleno.

As the woman walked to the front of the class, he could only sigh. She didn't even teach. She just yammered on in Spanish for an hour, handed out book assignments, and took tests. Still, she apparently didn't believe in failing grades so he might just be able to survive. Only way to explain how he'd made it this far.

Xander repressed a sigh as she scribbled several worlds onto the chalkboard, without English translations of course, so the class would have no idea what they said.

"Buena mañana, clase." the teacher began, of course not speaking a word of English, "Éstas son nuestras palabras para el día. Ahora repetición después de mí, cada uno: 'Miguel, me dirige por favor al cuarto del resto'."

Xander sighed. Yep. No explanation and the woman was wasting their time with the same shit that they'd been learning since early last year. She was really damn wordy too. Woman wasn't speaking Spanish, she was translating from English. Badly. 'Miguel, please direct me to the rest room', his ass.

"Esto es Mierda..." he muttered to himself.

Senora Gomez blinked and then she cocked her head, shooting Xander an odd look. "Hay algo el señor Harris de la materia?"

Xander paused for a moment. Hold on a second. He understood everything she'd been saying, hell, he understood it enough that he was able to comment on her grammar and structure...

"Que Diablos?" Xander blinked in confusion. Well, he knew one thing: he was sure as hell hadn't speaking English just then. "Hablo Español? Genial!"

"Al parecer, señor Harris," The teacher deadpanned. "Ahora, repetición después de mí. 'Miguel, me dirige por favor al cuarto del resto'."

Xander sighed and rolled his eyes at the teacher. Well this was all unexpected...

"Psst! Hey, Xander..."

"Yeah, Larry?" Xander sighed. "What ya need?"

"Since when have you known Spanish?" the gay football player asked.

Xander paused. He really didn't know. Thinking back for a moment, he 'remembered'. It was an odd sensation really, like something that had just slipped your mind coming back into focus. It was kind of cool, but it did make him wonder. What else would he remember over time?

"I took a trip to Nicaragua," he replied, "I picked it up there."

Sure, he neglected to mention that it had been in the early 80s while 'he'd' been working with the Contras at the behest of those pukes from the CIA, but it was accurate. Kinda...

"Great!" Larry replied with a grin. "You think you could help me out with the class, man? I mean, the coach is starting to give me crap about my grades."

"Just as long as you don't ask me out, man." Xander replied. "You're a friend and all, but I 'love to love the ladies'. Know what I mean...?"

"Don't worry, man. I wouldn't date a buddy. You ruin friendships like that." Larry stated. "So, gonna help me?"

Xander nodded. "I'll try, but first you'll have to ignore what Speedy up there says."

Larry blinked. "Why's that?"

"She barely speaks the language. If you learned from her, all your Spanish would really good for is ordering a taco and a tequila in some Mexican restaurant. If you tried to use it to get a job or something, you'd just look like an idiot."

Larry nodded. "Well, I don't really want to _learn_ it. I just want pass the class, but thanks for the heads up."

"Any time, Larry."

------------- ------------- 

Xander smiled viciously as he walked through the halls of the school to his next class. His target was in sight, he was ready to attack, and he would do so without mercy.

"Hey, Pervy-girl."

"What?" Willow squeaked turning around. "Who are you calling a Pervy-girl?"

"You, Pervy-girl," he replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Willow backed up looking hurt. "I am not a Pervy-girl!"

"Yes, you are," Xander replied, "I mean only a Pervy-girl would know what a fluffer is, and considering Harmony didn't, that's pretty pervy..."

Willow frowned, as a look of horror came to her face. "Oh no! First the sense, then the jacket and all the attitude and calling Harmony a fluffer and now you're being mean to me again! It's going to be like last time the Hyena was around isn't it! Oh my god! I have to tell Buffy before something bad happens!"

"Wills," Xander sighed, "It's not like that. I'm not possessed. I'm just teasin' ya..."

She scowled. "Well, it's mean..."

He groaned. "Come on, I was trying to see if I could goad you into fighting back. You know, stand up for yourself. All I want you to do it take a shot back. Come on. Shoot back... if you do, I'll buy you an ice cream during lunch..."

Willow smiled. "And if I don't?"

Xander grinned. "I keep calling you Pervy-girl."

Willow frowned for a moment, then a thin smile came to her face. "Free ice cream?"

Xander nodded, "That's right... Pervy-girl."

Willow blushed slightly, but she smiled in a coy, naughty manner that made a chill go up Xander's spine. "Maybe I am a Pervy-girl," she wondered, he voice a bit deeper and a whole lot more seductive.

Xander blinked. "Why's that?" he asked, playing right into her trap.

"You see," she began, "This one time at Band Camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy..."

Xander's brain ground to a complete stop, along with all conversation in the hallway. "What?!" Xander croaked, looking at his best friend in what could only be called absolute shock. "Where the hell did you come up with that?!

Willow blushed. "My cousin Michelle..."

Xander nodded. That made sense. Perfect sense. Willow's twisted cousin, Michelle. Looked just like her too...

Oh, he remembered when she visited the summer before Buffy showed up. Thankfully he had been bright enough to avoid her 'stories' and sexual advances. The very idea of sleeping with his best friend's nymphomaniac evil twin just didn't sit well with him. Jessie on the other hand... Well at least his buddy hadn't died a virgin. He never did tell Willow though. It would have been... weird.

"That... makes sense." Xander admitted. "I take it she was the one who told you what a fluffer is too, right?"

"Yeah, she tried to make me watch a dirty movie and told me all about 'the industry'." She shuddered for a moment, then brightened back up. "So, do I get the ice cream?"

"Oh yeah. You defiantly get ice cream for that one," He grinned. "Pervy-girl."

"**XANDER!**"

------------- ------------- 

Xander absently jotted down his thoughts in his notebook as he totally ignored the teacher. This was not an uncommon occurrence for him, but the reason was different than before. Usually, he just wasn't interested but now, now it was something a bit more concrete that drove him to ignore the lesson: contempt. The woman taught down to the class, ensuring that the lowest common denominator, or as he liked to call them, the 'football team', passed and were able to soundly get their asses kicked in a display of what could pitifully be called 'school pride'. Before, he wouldn't have been so judgmental, but one thing he realized from what little she has said that he'd actually processed was that Soldier Guy, surprisingly enough, knew quite about English language and literature. Not enough to make him an expert by any means, but more than enough to make him feel almost insulted at being treated like he was a twelve year old.

Still, it did give him time to order his thoughts, which was a good thing, especially considering that in the last couple days he'd gained about fifty odd years of life experience. Right now though, he was focusing on ways to improve the efficiency and survivability of his little 'band of brothers'. He scoffed in amusement. Band of brothers. While it captured the sentiment rather well, it was pretty inaccurate considering the fact that there was more estrogen in the group than testosterone. Still though, 'Band of Siblings' just didn't have the same ring to it...

Digressing, Xander put himself back on topic. Tricks to stay alive. His list wasn't going to have much order, at least to start. That could come later. Right now he just wanted to record his thoughts and ideas so they would not be lost. First, he was going to put it down, then he'd clean it up. Simple enough.

The first things that came to mind. A buddy system. Hunting vampires was dangerous. Hell, for normal humans, hunting vampires without proper backup and preparation was downright suicidal. Even for Slayers it wasn't that bright, as the low average lifespan made _painfully_ apparent.

Yeah, defiantly a buddy system. No one goes out without someone to watch their six. At least one superhuman with every patrol team would also be a good idea. For a moment, he almost even missed Angel. Sure, Deadboy had been the kind of Vampire Goth's wet-dream 'Lonely One', and once he and the Buffster made with the vampire laying, he'd gone all bad, but he would have been useful as a brick on patrol. He seemed to be reliable enough, under the condition that he kept his fucking fly zipped.

Alright. Buddy system, defiantly on the list.

For a moment, Xander looked back up to the teacher to see what she was doing now, so if any questions were asked he didn't look like an idiot. He paused in a mixture of horror and disgust at what he saw. What in the name of Jesus H. Christ was that woman doing? No, he just couldn't believe it, yet it was true. She was handing out comic book versions of the _Scarlet Letter_...

Xander scoffed. She just couldn't be serious. Now not only were they being taught down to, but they didn't even have to read the stupid book. Oh, this was just pathetic...

"Mr. Harris, would you like a copy?" she asked sweetly.

Okay, that was it. He'd just gone from somewhat offended to just plain insulted. "No," he snapped, his tone laced with utter contempt.

The teacher blinked for a moment and scowled slightly. "There's no reason to be rude."

Xander would disagree. He felt plenty reason to be rude, only embracing that instinct would probably get him sent to Snyder, and the last thing he wanted to do was to give that Napoleonic megalomaniac leverage over him, death threats or no.

Xander paused for a moment. Napoleonic megalomaniac? He chuckled to himself. Okay, fighting skills, cooking skills, Spanish language, and now an expanded vocabulary? Next thing he knew, he'd be speaking Vietnamese. Xander paused as a set of memories began to come to the surface.

Okay, this was starting to get ridiculous. He _did_ speak Vietnamese, Montagnard too.

This was getting kind of weird. Though it did kind of makes sense considering how much time Soldier Guy had spent in that damned country. Thinking for a moment, he grinned. He was like multi-lingual man here. Who knows what language he'd 'remember' speaking later?

This of course, made him think of communications. They defiantly needed to improve communications both in the field and out. Really, he didn't even know Faith's phone number or more importantly, where she lived. That was bad in so many ways. First, it made coordination an absolute pain in the ass. How could he let her know about meetings or even get her for patrols if he didn't know her number or where she lived? Even more importantly though, it placed everyone at risk. Anyone left out of the loop was a potential liability.

Tactical communication was also an issue, but more readily solved. During the summer, they'd made good use of personal radios and had  
proven time and time again that a properly coordinated attack from  
normal, untrained high school students could take down vampires. It almost made him giddy to think what that kind of coordination could do when applied to properly skilled super humans.

To solve the organizational communications issues, he felt that the solution was simple: cell phones. Everyone could have one, they'd be secure enough for most normal individual communications, and they'd ensure that you could, at least theoretically, get in contact with anyone at any time.

For the tactical, walkie-talkies were a proven solution, though looking back, an upgrade to hands free units with scrambling and ear pieces would be optimal. That way, no one would have to worry about loosing their radios if they got struck while communicating and it would help discourage any possible eavesdropping.

Training was also another good idea, Xander noted. While the group was good at what they did, they all could probably use some polish. Hand signals and proper radio protocol were definites. Small unit tactics would also be a good idea, as would how to read maps, some basic navigation, firearms operation, and general survival skills. Anything to help them focus a bit more, and while they might not ever be hunting for vamps in the bush, he felt that it was better to learn something and never use it, than to not have it and need it.

Individualistic training was also good. Willow alone was a testament to that. She needed some hand to hand training in the worst way, and while he was not much into the mojo, he had a strong feeling that magic was not something that applied well to self-study. Just too many things that could go wrong. You could hold up Ripper as an example of that.

All this made him think back to an absent idea he'd had during the summer. Invest in books by Paladin press, friendly publishers of books like "How to Build a Bazooka", "Home Workshop Firearms", and the "CIA Explosives for Sabotage" manual. While Giles had a whole bunch of good books on classifying demons, they seemed to be a bit lacking on more up to date ways to kill them, and the armory reflected this. He couldn't help but think of the Judge. Maybe it would be a good idea in the future to keep some guns, bombs, bazookas, and other such modern implements of chaos and destruction on hand with the axes, swords, and other assorted sharp, pointy things. After all, while Vamps might be bullet resistant, that didn't mean all demons don't drop when you shoot 'em...

Since they probably couldn't easily acquire all the weapons they needed especially considering the simple fact that military grade high explosives, fully automatic weapons, and anti-tank weapons were kind of illegal and all, they'd just have to make them.

This brought up its own problems. First, all these activities were time consuming, and all of the world's luxuries, time was one thing they had a distinct lack of. Between school, patrolling, Scooby meetings, and attempting to live something approaching a life in the limited time in between, they just didn't have the time to spend hours a day machining trigger assemblies or mixing explosives.

Those jobs also required some level of skill. If you didn't know exactly what you were doing, you could end up at ground zero of a rather painful explosion. They needed expert help, people who knew what they were doing.

In fact, they needed if for more than just explosives handling or proper skill with a metalworking lathe and milling machine. They needed research assistance and magical support. While he knew that they were just fine as far as research parties went, having someone on the other end of the radio with a reference book in hand just incase they ran into anything weird would be a major plus.

They also needed magical expertise. Jenny's loss had hit them rather hard. Not only had they lost a friend, a teacher, and in Giles' case, a lover, but they'd lost the only member of the team who actually knew what the hell they were doing with magic. Willow was only a student, one with only marginal training given by a techno-pagan gypsy and a prankster chaos mage, at that. Giles was a reformed dark magic user who probably hadn't done anything substantial with magic in 25 years.

It was almost a good thing that Ethan was going to force himself into the group. Sure, he was a lunatic chaos mage with a penchant for causing trouble, but he knew what the hell he was doing, something that no one else in their happy little pack of crazies could say. He had no doubt that Giles was going to shit kittens, and he knew that Buffy was going to become little miss high and mighty, but it would be nice to have a professional mojo-user again, even if he was as mad as a hatter.

Xander looked up as the bell rang, breaking his train of thought. Slowly a smile came across his face. It was time for his favorite class of the day. Lunch.

------------- ------------- 

To say that Jonathan Levinson was having a bad day would have been a bit of an understatement. In fact one could say that he was having a hard week... or if you wanted to take a look at his entire life, one would swiftly see that it, in general, was one giant flaming crap ball of suck. Well, digressing, even by those standards, today was rather crappy. Usually his existence was one long trail of verbal abuse and loneliness. Today... today was looking to be one of those horrible, painful days where the verbal abuse crossed into the physical.

"I only got a B, Levinson!" roared Jim, one of the schools many Neanderthal throwbacks who proved quite clearly that that particular subspecies had not gone extinct, but had rather had bred with the Homo Sapiens Sapiens population occasionally producing the pea-brained freaks of nature he liked to call "Football Players".

"I told you that I needed an A. Now I might get kicked off the team!" roared the angry modern day caveman.

Jon could only repress a small, amused smile. Like it mattered if any of those beef-brained functional retards actually was kicked from the team? They already had a turn around rate of new players so high that they won maybe two or three games out of a season, if they were lucky.

Looking back at the enraged half-back though, he knew better than to say that, it would only make the incoming beating even more painful. Well, time to start with the prostration. Maybe he could get lucky. Doubted it, but either way, the brutes go easier on you when you plead... god, he felt dirty.

"I had to do three other reports for that class, including my own!" Jon objected "All on different topics!"

"I don't care, ya sniveling little crap," Jim growled as he pulled back his first. "As far as I'm concerned, you got this commin'..."

John winced, preparing himself for the blow. This was going to suck..."

------------- ------------- 

Xander smiled as he walked down the hallway. Ah, wonderful lunch. He was going to eat his own weight, he knew it. And for once, a filling lunch was not going to break the bank because he had a nice large wad of vampire cash just sitting in his wallet. Once again, he marveled at the brilliance of making Slaying pay for itself...

_"I only got a B, Levinson!"_

Xander paused. What was that?

_"I told you that I needed an A. Now I might get kicked off the team_

It was that prick, Jim. Sounded like he was beating someone up...

While the Hyena had no problem with it, if there was something that both Xander-Xander and his Soldier Guy aspect both could agree on, it was that he loathed those who picked on people who were weaker than themselves. He knew in his gut that good men had to stand up and fight when they saw injustice, otherwise evil would win. While he had to admit that this was not on the level of Hellmouthy stuff, he had to stop it. It would be negligence to do any less.

Xander growled deeply, and stormed towards the origin of the voice. Turning the corner he saw Jon Levinson being pushed up against a locker, as Jim cocked his arm back.

"I don't care, ya sniveling little crap, as far as I'm concerned, you got this commin'..."

With a snort of indignation, Xander grabbed Jim by the hair and literally tore him off of Jon. The football player screeched in pain and surprise as Xander spun him around and smashed him into the lockers lining the other side of the hallway with almost enough force to leave a lasting impression. Pressing him into the lockers, and locking his arm, Xander moved to whisper in his ear.

"Now listen here, you insignificant little shit." Xander growled, all his frustration of a lifetime of being bullied himself coming to the surface, "You lay a hand on anyone else in the school and I'll give you an object lesion in humility."

"Let me go, you fucking fuck!"

Xander could only sneer To make his point, Xander twisted his arm and pressed him deeper into the lockers, causing the player to cry out in pain.

"You're not going to bully anyone else in this school," Xander restated. "Or Else. Do you understand?!"

"YES!" Jim cried out.

"Yes WHAT?" Xander hissed.

"I'm not going to beat up anyone else in this school!" Jim whimpered pitifully.

"Good," Xander stated as he let Jim go. The football player took one good look at Xander, then bolted down the hall, cradling his injured arm.

Jon could not help but look at Xander, totally in awe. While he'd always considered Xander a friend, or at least as close to a friend as he had, never in a million years would he expect this.

"Xander, I..."

"Jon, are you alright?" Xander asked.

"Yeah, I... I just... I mean... Thanks man," Jon replied, his jaw agape. 

"Good to hear," Xander nodded. "I don't think he'll be trying anything like this any time soon."

Jon smiled thinly. "No ones ever stood up for me before..."

Xander scowled slightly. That was exactly the kind of shit he didn't like to hear. "Its about time that changed. I'm not going to let any muscle bound steroid junkies like that idiot pound on my friends..."

Jon's smile grew. "Friends?"

"Of course," Xander responded immediately, "You're my friend. And friends watch each others backs."

Jon's smile grew even wider. Xander had basically beaten the crap out of someone to protect him. As a friend, he had defended him without doubt or reservation, and he'd done it because it was just what friends do. For the first time in a long time he felt accepted. It was strange, but felt good. He had a real friend.

"You sure you're okay man?" Xander asked. "You're kinda zoning out on me."

"Yeah, I'm fine." Jon replied. And he was. He felt fine for the first time in a long time. 

"So, what was that about?" Xander asked.

Jon sighed, and for the first time, he felt comfortable venting to someone else. "Those pea-brained simians have me doing all of their damned work! I mean, over the last week I've had to individually research and produce six reports, three in classes I'm not even taking, all written so they don't seem to be in the same style, and all between five and ten pages double spaced 12 sized Time New Roman Font! And that jackass has the nerve to bitch when he gets an 89?"

One of Xander's eyebrows shot up in a most Spock like fashion as ideas started running through his head. "Hold on, Jon. You're telling me you did nine totally different reports this week and they all had passing grades?"

Jon scoffs. "Passing grades? That 89 was the low grade."

Slowly, a predatory smile came to Xander's face. Jon was able to do all that and get outstanding grades? There was potential here...

Jon's face fell as he saw Xander smile. Was this how long this newfound friendship was going to last? Was Xander going to bully him into doing his school work to? Was he going to ask for it in exchange for protection?

"You don't want me to do your work too, do you Xander?" Jonathan asked wearily.

"No," Xander replied. "Nothing so... mundane." He paused for a moment, "Listen, I'll tall you about it over lunch. My treat?"

"Alright," Jon replied unsurely.

Xander smiled and patted Jonathan on the shoulder. With a smile on his face, he lead his friend to the counter. On the other side, the almost manly lunch lady glared back at him with a glare of almost tactile hatred and contempt. Before he had not really noticed it, but now, Xander actually felt somewhat uncomfortable. He hoped she didn't try and spike the food or something...

"What do you want?" growled the lunch lady, with almost palatable contempt.

Xander's eyes creased as he subconsciously acknowledged and filed her challenge.

"That's a good question," Xander glanced back to Jon, his expression softening as he did so. "What do ya want, buddy?"

Jon shrugged. "I'll just have the special..."

"Sounds good," Xander replied, "That'll be seven specials."

Jon blinked. "Seven?"

Xander grinned. "Hey, I'm a growing boy..."

He trailed off as he heard the grumbling of the lunch lady a little too clear. While he'd had enough crappy jobs to understand how demeaning they could be, especially for a grown woman who'd probably slaved the glory years of her life away in this godforsaken pit, the thoughts she was expressing, thoughts like how she'd have her revenge, how she would kill them all, that... that was something to be worried about. He'd tell Giles about it so they could keep an eye on her.

Walking back to a table, Xander sat down, placing one tray across from Jon. With some nervous reluctance, Jon sat down and looked Xander in the eyes.

"What's this all about?" he asked his friend with no lack of nervousness in his voice.

"Jon, before I begin I want you to promises me that you will keep an open mind to what I say. That you won't just think I'm a lunatic. Alright?"

Jon nodded. "Alright."

Taking a breath Xander began. "Ever read HP Lovecraft?"

Jon blinked. "Yeah..."

"You know how in Lovecraft, when the world started it was populated by unspeakable horrors with god like that could melt men's with a glance?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, despite what creationists and text books might tell you, that's how the world began," Xander remarked. 

"You can't be serious..." Jon drawled.

"Oh, I'm quite serious," Xander replied, "And for millions of years they made the Earth their personal hell, until for some reason they lost their grasp on this reality allowing lesser beings, like us, to evolve."

"Xander," Jon sighed, "If the world really started like that, there would be some proof."

"Oh, there is," Xander replied levelly, "But its all been suppressed."

Jon looked at Xander levelly, "Come on, man..."

"Remember Jessie?" Xander asked, level.

"Of course," Jon exclaimed. "He was my friend too!"

"Well, one of those _things_ killed him. You ever wondered why it was a closed casket funereal?"

"Yeah, I did..." Jon admitted.

"There was no body. That's why." Xander scowled. "Have you ever wonder why half the kids we knew when we are little are dead? Why you mother probably still freaks when you go out after sunset? Why no one ever looks into a missing persons in this town, or why we're always fed this bullshit about wild dog attacks and gang members on PCP?"

Jon nodded.

"Well, this town... this _high school_ is built over an inter-dimensional nexus to hell, a Hellmouth if you will. That proof I mentioned? Its what's causing all those deaths. Vampires, demons, the monster under the bed... they're all real and to them, Sunnydale is like a beacon. The Hellmouth attracts them, must feel like home or something, and they look at the local human population, us, as food."

Jon nodded slowly. "I cant believe I'm saying this, but it makes sense." He paused for a moment. "And here I thought it was aliens..."

"As good an explanation as any..." Xander admitted.

"So this is the part were you tell me you fight them and you want me to join your team?" Jon asked.

"Got it in one."

Jon winced. "Come on man, I'm just a geek. How could I be of any use against monsters? I mean, how are you of any use against them..." he paused, "Though this does explain how you were able to kick Jim around... that was pretty badass."

Xander grinned. "Well, not to toot my own horn, but toot-toot."

Jon laughed, then he looked at Xander levelly. "Really, I'm serious, how long have you been doing this and how are you still alive?"

"Just under two years and a half years, and we have a secret weapon."

Jon blinked. "Secret weapon?"

"Buffy. She's the Slayer." He paused, "Well, _a_ Slayer."

"What's the Slayer?"

"The chosen one. The one girl in the world who's given the strength, the speed, the power to fight the demons on their own level and kick their asses. She's stronger then them, faster than them, and looks just like their preferred prey, so they don't know what she's capable of until she'd kicking their asses."

"Oh," Jon replied, "So I take it everyone who hangs out with you in the library is part of this little group?"

"Yep. We started out as just Buffy's support team, but all of us have come into our own since then, and recently Faith showed up. She's also a Slayer."

"You said there can only be one..."

"When the current Slayer dies, another is called. Buffy drowned, but luckily I know CPR."

"Oh, so Faith was called?"

"No, Kendra was called. Kendra got killed then Faith was called."

"So you have two Slayers?"

"And a Witch, an ordained minister, a member of a secret society that exists to help the Slayer, and me."

"Wow." Jon replied, "So we come full circle to my first question, what the hell do you want me? I'm just a dork..."

"Bingo," Xander grinned, "And it is my intention to harness the infinite power of your dorkness as a new weapon in the never-ending battle between good and evil."

Jon blinked. "Huh?"

Xander grinned, "Fighting the good fight isn't all about kicking ass. Sure, kicking ass helps, but mostly it's about knowing what you're fighting and how to kill it. That means research and lots of it. I want you to join our research team. You'll spend most of your time in the library researching horrors about which mankind was not meant to know so we can kill them before they hurt anyone else, or if things get really fucked up, open the Hellmouth. Who knows, you might even learn something."

"Oh," Jon remarked. "I can do that."

Xander grinned, "Just to prove that I'm not jerking you around, we'll take on patrol some night so you can see that we're serious."

Jon's paled. "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Better you learn with two Slayers escorting you then if we're attacked out of the blue."

Jonathan nodded. "Okay."

"Hey, Xander!" Larry cut in as he approached the table.

Jon shrunk three inches while Xander looked over to the gay football player.

"Hey, Larry."

"I heard you kicked Jim's ass."

Xander shrugged. "He was picking on Jon. I don't like it when people pick on others."

"I got ya." Larry grinned. "So I heard that you're the one who told Harmony that she was the team's fluffer..."

Xander grinned viciously. "Yep."

Jon gawked at Xander in amazement. "You told Harmony that she was the football team's fluffer?"

Xander smirked. "Actually, I said they told me they were looking for their fluffer and when she didn't know what one was, I feigned ignorance and told her to ask the team."

The large football player chuckled. "You should have seen the look on her face when she found out why everyone was laughing. She actually ran away crying. I heard she cut the rest of the day out of pure embarrassment."

Jon smiled widely and began laughing, semi-hysterically. Though his laughter he managed to choke out, "Payback's a bitch, bitch!"

Larry blinked and glanced at Xander. "I think Levinson's cracked."

Xander shrugged. "I think he's just enjoying the comeuppance after twelve years of bullshit."

"Yeah," Jon laughed. Glancing at Larry, he asked, "Please tell me you got a picture of her face..."

Larry shrugged. "Sorry,"

"Crap," Jon replied, "I'd have had it framed."

Xander paused for a moment as he slowly considered the interplay going on between Jon and Larry. For once, they actually seemed to be getting along. This gave him an idea. It was a bit of a risk, but either way, it was a worthwhile one...

"Larry, I want you to make a promises."

Larry shrugged. "Sure, what do you want?"

"I want you to leave Jon alone."

Larry glanced at Jon for a moment, then nodded. "Deal."

"Cool, now..." Xander grinned. "Take a seat, and have a bite to eat with us. There's something I think you should know..." 


	6. Chapter 6

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 6: Scrappy Do  
By PsyckoSama

"What are they doing here?"

"Wait," Larry muttered, "This is it? So you protect the world from evil out of the school library?"

Giles began to clean his glasses without pause. Most of the others looked a bit surprised by this revaluation. Buffy on the other hand was giving Xander a glare that could probably melt lead.

Xander sighed to himself. Well, that wasn't entirely unexpected. Buffy was the classic warrior princess kind of deal. Great if she was leading a band of fellow warriors to slay a troll, not so great if she was actually looking to train them. He knew she wasn't going to react well to this, that on some level she'd see it as a challenge, but he knew that it had to be done.

He couldn't help but admit that a part of him wanted to do this, was almost eager to do so in fact. He wasn't proud of that part of him, but unfortunately, he couldn't see any other option. Up to this point everything had been the Slayer and her non-criminal gang. The more he thought about it, the more problems he saw. They depended on her, perhaps more than she'd ever realized, and while he'd never decry her ability as the Slayer, she was still just as mortal as the rest of them.

She was a natural born warrior, a Slayer. Even with all the knowledge and memories he'd gained from his transformation few could really compare. Even Kendra and Faith weren't quite on her level.

Unfortunately, that was the root of the problem. In a fight she was a force of nature, but she simply didn't play well with others. And while she was good at building morale, she didn't do so well when actually leading people into combat. Her planning skills seemed to begin and end with the business end of a stake, she always seemed a bit reluctant to trust in her friend's abilities, and the less he said about her inability to make the hard choices the better...

"Xander!" Buffy snapped, interrupting his little internal monologue.

"Yes, Buffy?" he asked, looking other to his friend with a large smile on his face.

"You told them," she stated with a slight growl. "Why?"

"Yes," Xander replied, "I told them. They deserve to know. They've lived in Sunnyhell all their lives. Even if they don't fight, they should at least know to keep their heads down. Besides, I think they could add something to the group."

Buffy glanced over to the pair of them and gave them a steady look. Larry was looking supremely confident as ever. Xander wouldn't go as far to call him an Alpha, as he lacked the drive to be the head of the team, but he was still a decent take charge type. In other words, he was a strong Beta. Jon on the other hand was looking rather out of his element and a bit like he was trying to hide in plain sight. It was a shame, really, that someone like him had been driven to this point. Maybe with some backup, he'd be able to show off that big old brain of his and shine.

"You two know this isn't a game, right?" she asked.

"Yeah," Larry replied. "I've lost a lot of friends to these bastards."

"Everybody in Sunnydale has," Jon added.

"Right," Larry glanced over to Jon and gave him a smile and a nod. "I don't know about you Levinson, but I'd like some payback."

"Look, I just want to help out, that's all," Jon replied.

Buffy simply sighed.

"Xander," Giles asked, "I will not question your motives, whether I agree with them or not, but what do you believe they can add to the group?"

"I'm good with books," Jon offered. "Xander told me that you do a lot of research. I can help with that."

After a moment's examination, the Watcher nodded and then turned to Larry. "And you?"

"I can fight," he replied with a smile on his face.

This caused Giles to scowl. "These are not high school brawlers, these are demons. You might be able to bully a schoolmate for his lunch money, but those are hardly skills that are useful against a vampire. Do you have any weapons skills?"

Larry shrunk slowly. "Not really..."

"Hold on," Xander cut in. "You went as a pirate for Halloween, right?"

Buffy sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Oh god..."

"Yeah. So?" Larry asked.

"You realize that everyone was turned into their costumes, right?" Xander asked.

Larry blinked. "Wait a second, you mean that was real?"

"Yeah. There was a spell on all the costumes that made you into whatever you went as. I went as a soldier, Buffy went as an eighteenth century noblewoman..."

Buffy glared at the back of Xander's neck.

"And Willow here went as a sexy ghost."

"Xander!" Willow squeaked.

"Hey, it's true, you were a sexy ghost," Xander stated. "All that leather and skin a sexy ghost doth make."

Oz smirked. "Sexy ghost, huh? I'd like to see this costume, maybe judge for myself."

Willow for her part was blushing as brightly as her hair and shyly trying to hide her face in embarrassment.

"Oh shit," Larry muttered to himself.

"You okay, man?" Oz asked.

"No, not really," Larry replied. "It was real... eighteenth century noblewoman. Fuck." He sighed deeply then looked sadly to Buffy. "Summers, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of that to happen, and with the way things went down... I'm sorry."

Buffy's expression softened a little. "Its okay, it wasn't you."

"Thanks," Larry replied before glancing back to Xander, "So why did you bring that up, other than to make me feel like an ass in front of Summers?"

"I think I get it," Willow thought aloud. "When Xander went back to being Xander he remembered lots of army stuff. Maybe you might be able to remember some piraty stuff."

"I'm not sure I want to," the jock admitted.

"Did I miss something," Jon wondered. "I mean, if I could learn to be a pirate, I'd think it was pretty cool."

"When I was a pirate I almost..." Larry growled.

Buffy, partly out of sympathy for Larry's plight and partly out of a desire to move off the subject as quickly as possible simply piped in, "Did something to me that is very, very bad, and very, very illegal."

Larry looked at her gratefully. "Yeah, what she said..."

"Wow," Jon muttered, turning just a bit pale. "Forget I said anything."

Xander shook his head and placed his hand on Larry's shoulder. "I'm not saying you have to start drinking rum and go out wenching or anything like that. I mean, you could, it you wanted to that is..."

Buffy and Willow looked at him with two sets of evil eyes. "Xander!"

Realizing that once again, his off key sense of humor had got him in trouble, again, and yet oddly reassured by that fact, he turned his attention back to Larry. "Right then, you shouldn't do that, but the point is you might have retained some fighting skills, like how to use a sword."

Before Larry could reply, Giles decided to add his opinion. "Xander does make a point. If you insist on going on patrol than it probably would be for the best for you to see if you can develop your skills with a sword."

Buffy's shoulders slumped. "I really don't want anyone else to get involved in this, but if you're going to, you have to be able to at least be able to know which end goes into the other guy, or demon." She paused sheepishly realizing that perhaps she'd gone a little overboard with the information again. "Anyways, the point is that you wouldn't be going out you know, on your own or anything, but that you'll have to be able to handle yourself."

Larry looked a little confused and Xander couldn't help but laugh. "What she means is that you won't get eaten if she stops for a coffee."

Larry furrowed his brow for a moment, then sighed. "Fine. I'll give it a go."

Xander smiled at his friend. "All we're asking, man."

"And if I don't remember anything?" Larry wondered with a hit of trepidation evident in his face, fearing the answer.

"Then we're going to train you," Xander replied, giving Larry a chilling glance.

"Why do I suddenly think I should have stuck to football?" Larry muttered to himself.

BREAK

Slowly, Larry walked over to the weapons rack and looked at the swords present. He hadn't felt this nervous since his first big game. Damn this had been a weird day, when he'd woken up his only concern had been making sure he was ready for Friday night, now he was worrying about demons and vampires and shit. It almost made him wish he'd told Harris to piss off.

Still, they wanted to see if he remembered anything so it was worth a go. He sighed and looked at the practice swords again reached for the rack, instinctively grabbing a basket hilted Sabre. Slowly, he tested its weight and found that if felt surprisingly natural.

Taking a deep breath, he turned around and watched as the librarian took a classic en garde position like in all those old fencing movies.

Slowly, he got his footing, turned his body and roughly lifted the blade to body level and wondered how the hell they'd talked him into this.

Giles smiled slightly, looking at his stance, and gave him a nod. Then, he attacked.

Larry jumped back, slapping the lunge aside with his blade and without even realizing it, throwing his weight into a strong punch aimed for his opponent's face.

Giles for his part dodged the blow and jumped back, giving Larry a chance to make a slash at his neck which Giles parried and turned into a thrust at his heart that he narrowly deflected.

Giles nodded and pulled back lowering his foil.

"I've seen enough," he replied.

Larry frowned. He was probably going to say he wasn't any good at it. He had to give the old man credit, he was damned fast and knew what he was doing. He'd been on the ropes the whole time just lashing out and cheating.

"I do believe that you do indeed retain some level of skill from your possession."

"Huh?" Larry blinked. "Really? I sure as hell didn't feel like I was a fencer."

"You aren't," he replied. "Remember, an early 18th century pirate is unlikely to have received any formal weapons training. Honestly, shipboard combat wasn't likely to have been the flashy duels you'd see in the movies and would be more in the lines of a bar room brawl with swords."

"He's not that bad," Buffy admitted, "Not that great either. I could've kicked his ass."

"You're the Slayer," Xander pointed out. "You could probably kick all our asses."

Giles glanced over at her. "Don't dismiss him too quickly. While his style is brutal and unrefined, I believe with some formal training he could become a formidable swordsman."

Larry laughed and looked down at the sword, then back to the Englishman.

"Nice."

Giles nodded calmly. "I do warn you though, that this is not a game. You will not be learning how to fence. This will be combat swordsmanship. I will expect you to train harder than you ever have before and take it deadly seriously. You are going to be using this in life or death situations and these skills very well may be the only thing standing between you and a very unpleasant end. Understood?"

Larry nodded and looked at the sword again. Before, he'd always wondered if there was anything he'd ever be good at besides Football. Now he'd found something else, and it always felt good to find you had a skill. He thought for a moment, then smiled. Maybe he should try sailing...

"I got ya."

"Good."

BREAK

"So this is the Great Librarium Arcamum?" Jon asked as Willow and Oz lead him into the stacks.

Willow nodded, "This is where Giles keeps all the demony books. We spend a lot of time back here researching."

Jon glanced over. "So all these books are about demons and magic, and its all real?"

She nodded.

"So why don't you just scan it all onto disc?" Jon wondered

"NO!" Willow exclaimed, frantically.

Jon blinked. "Why not? I mean, wouldn't it be easier than having all to dig through all these old books?"

"Last time we tried that, a freaky demon got loose on the internet."

"Are you serious..." Jon asked, completely agape.

Buffy glanced over. "And that's not the worst of it, it built itself a robot body, and tried to make Willow its bride."

Willow winced at the memory of the whole incident. "So at this point, I've decided that the old ways are maybe a bit safer."

After pondering for a moment, Jon simply said, "Okay, I'm be keeping the books away from any computers."

Oz raised an eyebrow and glanced at Willow. "You never told me that."

"Do I ever ask about your weird and creepy ex-girlfriends?" asked Willow with a raised eyebrow.

"Point," Oz acquiesced.

Jon silently began to walk through the stacks, paying Willow and Oz no heed, lost in his own mind. For once, he felt good about himself, fulfilled. The humiliation and isolation of his daily life felt like a mere annoyance compared to the wealth of knowledge and power that lay at his fingertips. So many books and they were all about incredible things and all those things were real. All his life he'd felt there was something out there, some hidden truth, and now... now it was at his finger tips. He'd finally be able to step beyond the mundane and into a world beyond his imagination.

With a wide smile on his face he began to look over the titles. He smiled and began to read the titles down the line. _The Book of Nod, The Book of Origin, The Book of Shadows, The Book of the Vishanti..._ He wondered if he'd have a chance to read them all. He was almost tempted to stop collecting Hellboy comics, sure they were awesome, but this was the same thing, but actually real.

With the smile still on his face, he kept looking about at anything that sounded interesting. _The Classification of Demons_... marked 1589. Now thats an really old book.

_Spontaneous Combustion: Myth and Fact._ Wow. Just wow.

_Magick Most Evile._ That sounds kinda... well... ominous.

_The Eltdown Shards: A Partial Translation._ Wonder what that's about...

"Jon?"

The young nerd jumped in shock. He'd been so focused on what he'd been looking over that he'd lost track of everything else.

"Yes, Willow?" he asked.

"Looking at the books?"

He nodded, looking a bit embarrassed.

She just smiled in response as she pulled a tome from the shelf. "I know what you mean. It's really cool back here."

"Yeah it is." Jon admitted, "So what's that you're getting out?"

"It's something Giles would call required reading," she replied as she thrust it into his hands. "Put it back when you're done."

Jon nodded and looked down at the book. Vampyre. Made sense. Sometimes you gotta start with the basics.

"I wonder if I can learn any magic," Jon wondered aloud as he walked towards the main library.

"If you'd like I can point out a few good books," Willow cut in.

Jon looked back. "Huh?"

Willow smiled and pulled out a pencil, which immediately began to levitate.

"I've so gotta learn how to do that..."

BREAK

Xander felt a distinct sense of pride as he watched Jon and Larry settling in with the others. Buffy and Larry were talking shop and Jon was still in the stacks with Willow and Oz drooling over the strange and esoteric tomes of Things Man Was Not Meant to Know. He was honestly happy. Before he'd have never had the guts to do this, but now, now he did and it felt good to make a difference.

What perhaps got him the most about it was how all the little sub-facets of his personality seemed to be in agreement that this was a good thing. Now there were two more Scoobies for the pack, two more people who knew about the darkness and were ready to help fight it. It was a risk, yes, but far less dangerous than wandering the Hellmouth ignorant of the dangers that surrounded them.

He smiled thinly. Maybe if they found enough good people, maybe if they trained them well enough, taught them not just how to survive, but to fight back, they could make a difference. No more Jennys, no more Jessies, and no more Kendras. Maybe they might have a chance to enjoy life, to actually live without the spectre of death looming over them like a shadow for every moment of every day of their lives.

"Xander, I would like to have a word with you."

The newly minted superhuman cracked an eyelid and smiled at the older man. "Sure thing, G-man. What do you want to talk about?"

"Xander," Giles began, "I need to speak to you about bringing others into the fight."

Xander scowled slightly and sat up. "You know I don't believe in that girl and her Watcher stuff..."

Giles raised his hand disarmingly. "No Xander, I agree with you. We both know that none of us would have lasted as long as we have on our own, that this group is indeed special."

Xander nodded lightly before looking the other man in the eyes. "Then what's the problem?"

"As you so bluntly made clear to both Buffy and Faith yesterday, for better or worse, this is a fighting force, not unlike the experiences you have in your head from, what did you call it, 'Soldier Guy' I believe?"

Xander nodded gently.

Giles paused, collecting his thoughts, knowing that a misstep or misstated word could be disastrous. "That means you cannot just go off and make decisions for the group without consulting us first."

Xander sighed. Part of him wanted to smack the old man up the back of the head for daring to challenge him, the rest had to admit that Giles was right. He'd gotten so pumped up on his own power trip that he'd simply charged ahead without thinking first. Big mistake.

"Comprende, G-Man," Xander responded after a moment. "Won't happen again."

Giles smiled as Jon exited the stacks carrying a worn, leather bound tome titled Vampyre. A book which, if Xander remember correctly, was basically the Watcher version of Undead For Dummies.

"Though I do have to admit," Giles brooked as Jon walked past, "If Jonathan and Larry are any indication, you have a good eye for potential."

"Thank you, Giles," Xander replied with a smile. "Your opinion means a lot to me."

Giles features softened and he glanced back at Xander. "Is that so?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, what can I say, every boy needs a positive male role model. My own father was a complete and utter loser, my Uncle Rory's nicer but not much more successful, Uncle Dave sees the world through a drain pipe, and my Uncle Ash is completely nuts. You're pretty much the only male figure in my life worth emulating... just don't expect me to wear any tweed."

Giles smiled, his eyes almost twinkling with pride and amusement. "Thank you Xander, I am happy to know that you have such faith in me, and I would like you to know that I do have strong feelings for all of you as well. It is my distinct pleasure and pride to have been given the opportunity to know and influence such wonderful young people."

Xander laughed. "Thanks G-man."

"Now," Giles added, "Since we're on the subject of our boundless respect for one another, could you please dispense with that infernal nickname?"

"Not a chance," Xander said through an ear to ear grin.

"Damn."

The clash of steel filled the room as Larry and Giles faced off once again. This time though, it was not a battle as the older man critiqued the flaws in the younger's style and helped him learn to overcome them, with the occasional bit of input from Buffy.

Almost unaware of the noise, Jon sat to the side, all but physically glued to the book he'd been given. His expression was mixed. He seemed half horrified by the dark truths that were being unfolded before his eyes and half like a 12 year old boy looking at his first nudie rag, awed by the deeply hidden wonders that were being undressed before him.

Willow was, of course, reading some esoteric tome on magic while Oz strummed his guitar, oblivious to everything else in the world, with the exception of Willow. He glanced at her and smiled fondly ever couple minutes before returning to his art. It was telling that she could pull the musically obsessed young man away from his instrument.

He once again restated to himself that there was to be no mating with Willow. He'd never really realized before his transformation how hot she actually was under all those baggy clothes, which she most definitely was. In a different world and situation he'd defiantly be looking to make his oldest friend his special friend, but not in this one. She loved Oz, Oz loved her, and Cordy would flay him alive and drop him in a vat of salt if he even thought about it.

Xander paused. Salt. Kosher Salt. To be kosher, didn't something have to be blessed by a Rabbi? Take a low pressure shotgun shell, stuff with kosher salt, place in an over the counter flare gun. Good anti-vamp weapon, and without all the mess of dealing with Super Soakers. Hell, if you were feeling especially vindictive, use regular old flares. Vampires don't like fire, after all.

With a slight flourish, he looked down at the open notebook before him and added it to The List. Rather than risk forgetting the ideas that kept coming to him, he was recording them in his notebook. Later on, when he had time, he'd go through them and filter out the inane and the insane ones from the ones that might actually be doable.

With a shrug, he leaned back and pulled out the latest Acme catalog. Back during the summer they'd made heavy use of walkie-talkies, but the ones they currently had were somewhat less than optimal. They were bulky, couldn't fit headsets, didn't have a scrambling function, had crappy range, and even crappier power consumption. He'd complain about it, but really, what could you expect? They were made by OCP. If he was looking for reliability though, it might not be a good idea to buy Acme. They seemed to have this unerring tendency to blow up in your face, usually at the worst possible moment. Probably was why they were so reasonably priced.

He sighed and put down the catalog. Screw it. He's just stop by the local Buy More and see if those Binford 6100 Walky-Talkies were still on sale. Sure, they were a bit overpriced, but they were virtually indestructible and probably could be used to communicate with orbiting space craft. Oh well. If all else failed, he'd check out the local S-Mart and if they had anything even worth looking at, give his uncle a call. S-Marts were a chain store, so if they have it in Sunnydale they probably have it in Dearborn. Besides, what good was having a family member with a 20 employee discount if you never used it?

"XANDER!"

With a cry of shock, Xander fell backwards from his chair, his head hitting the ground with a thud. Before he'd become the Hunter he probably would have hurt himself. Now it was just a jolt leading to one very special view. So that was Victoria's secret...

"Hey Cordy, is something the matter?" he asked with a sheepish but self-satisfied grin.

"What's the matter?" she hissed, "What's the matter?!" Cordelia paused for a moment taking stock of his current position. "You're looking up my dress, aren't you...," she hissed with narrow eyes.

"No, of course not, Xander lied, "I wouldn't do that...cause that would be bad..."

Cordy crossed her arms and looked down at him

"I plead the fifth!" Xander exclaimed.

"Plead this!" she growled, as she started to kick him in the shoulder.

"Ack!" Xander cried out. "Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!"

With a laugh Xander rolled away and stood up, holding his hands up to dissuade her from venting any more of her wrath upon his person. Cordelia glared at him for a moment before smacking him over the head with her purse as her wrath wasn't so easily dissuaded.

"Okay, okay, I get it, boyfriend do bad. Boyfriend punished. I'm sorry I looked up her Highness's dress without permission," Xander said with a smile. "Though I do have to admit...," he added in a whisper, all but purring in her ear, "that white silk thong suits you."

Cordelia, for her part, did her best imitation of a tomato before punching him in the arm. "Xander," she hissed in a low tone. "You pervert!"

"What can I say?" Xander admitted, "I worship your body. Isn't that a good thing?"

Cordelia glared at him for a moment, but her look of stone faced irritation was ruined by a cockeyed grin she just couldn't suppress. Finally deciding to give up, she snorted and shook her head.

"So what's up, Cordy?" he asked. "I mean you came in looking pretty pissed..."

In a second the look of amusement on her face vanished, once again replaced by a scowl and a narrow eyed glare.

"We have a date, Xander, you should be getting ready."

"Huh?" Xander blinked.

"The party in LA I told you about a month ago," she growled.

Xander winced. Oh. That. Shit. With everything that had been going on lately, it had totally slipped his mind. It was some kind of meet and greet for hopeful actors with some special guests. To make matters even worse, it was a fancy dress party. To make matters even worse he'd promised to go on patrol with Faith tonight. Shit. Shit. And once more just for color. Shit.

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but he !-- page size: 8.5in 11in; margin: 0.79in P margin-bottom: 0.08in --

"Idiot," she said through a sneer. "Well come on, and if David's doesn't have a Tux your size, I'm going to rip out your liver and make you wear it a hat."

Xander looked at Cordy and slowly backed away. "I think you've been spending a bit too much time with Buffy..."

"What?"

"I recognize the Buffy School of Diplomacy anywhere, it generally involves the use of body parts as apparel."

Cordelia grinned like a shark. "Fashionable violence."

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but he !-- page size: 8.5in 11in; margin: 0.79in P margin-bottom: 0.08in --

BREAK

"Yeah," Xander drawled. "Speaking of Buffy, I need to have a word with her for a moment before we leave..."

"Fine," Cordilia replied, rolling her eyes slightly. "Just make it quick."

"Sure thing," Xander replied before walking over to where Buffy was putting larry through his paces. "Hey, Lar-man I need to borrow your sparing parter for a minute."

Buffy glanced over and lowered her sword. "Sure thing," she said, "What do you need."

"Thank god," Larry gasped as soon as Buffy, lowered her weapon. As the new recruit wandered over to the table to assault a bottle of water, Xander could see why he was so happy to have a break. While Buffy was looking barely even flushed by the extended bout of physical activity, Larry looked like he'd been doing laps for the past 30 minutes.

"Buffy," he began, "I need a favor."

"What's up?" she inquired.

"I kinda am in a bind. I forgot about this date with Cordy, so I unwittingly made arrangements to go on patrol with Faith tonight."

"Ah," she replied with a grin. "Two dates, two girls, one night. Very High-School Drama. So what do you need?"

Xander parsed his lips. "Well, Cordy's my girlfriend so I'm going to this party, like it or not. Problem is that I'm not about to say that Slayers shouldn't go out without backup and then turn around and leave Faith high and dry."

"So you want me to wait up for her?" Buffy asked.

Xander nodded. "Yeah, could you?"

"Sure thing," she replied with a grin. "It'll be a Slayers night out."

"Thanks Buffy, you're a real pal."

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"You said that you were going to borrow your uncle's car," Cordelia growled as the two cruised their way down Main Street in Xander's new, at least to him, vehicle.

Xander sighed and glanced over at his girlfriend, "Cordy, Uncle Rory's out of town. So unless you want to try and borrow my mom's Family Truckster, this is what we've got."

"Great, just wonderful." She snorted in disgust. "So where did you pick up this piece of rolling scrap anyways?"

"Bought it from my Uncle Rory. He was selling it for seven fifty, but since I'm family he gave it to me for a flat three and told me to call it Christmas."

"Wonderful," Cordelia grimaced, "I'd be surprised if this piece of junk'll make it as far as Oxnard."

"Hey!" Xander exclaimed, his voice full of faux offense, "I'll have you know, there is a slight decline between here and Oxnard. Harold'll make it no problem, It's getting up the hills and into LA that's the challenge."

"Harold?" Cordelia said incredulously, "Wait, you named your car Harold?"

"Yep. Harold the Hoopty Car," he replied with absolute seriousness.

"Oh god," she muttered, "What a dork."

Xander grinned, "Guilty as charged, but I'm your dork."

"You better not forget it," she snapped, with a harsh tone and a smile.

"So do I really have to wear a penguin suit?" he asked pitifully.

"Only if you want to live," Cordelia replied calmly.

"Crap."


	7. Chapter 7

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

Hunter  
Chapter 7: Two's a Party, Three's a Crowd  
By PsyckoSama

Faith couldn't help but grin as she walked through the front door of Sunnydale High School, and towards the library. The sun was barely down and tonight had already proven to be a good one. She'd learned early to travel via the back alleys because the local vamp population liked to hang out in the shadows until sunset. She'd been lucky enough to catch some vamp chick without even much of a fight. Just came up behind her and slammed her into a wall until she stopped twitching.

She grinned. Before dusting the bitch she'd been sure to pat her down. Got 300 bucks and a pair of wicked cool leather pants out of the deal. Not only was that enough to feed and house her for two weeks, but she'd also be able to afford an awesome pair of boots she'd seen at the Good Will. It was just a shame that Buffy didn't pay attention when she tried to tell her about making slaying pay.

Faith paused. Maybe she should talk to Xander about it tonight. He seemed to be able to get through to Buffy on stuff like that. Xander'd made some good points, but she'd have to do some rogue slaying if Buffy wasn't willing to leave any vamps intact for her to pat down for cash. She didn't want to rob anyone and there was no way in hell that she was ever going to do any hooking.

"Hey guys," she cheerfully said as she walked into the library. Buffy was fooling around with a training rapier. Giles was talking to some beefy looking guy who looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. Red was talking to some mousy looking kid over a copy of _Vampyre_, and Oz was off to the side playing his guitar. That left her with just one question. "Where's Xander?"

"Hey, Faith," Buffy said with a smile as she walked over to her sister slayer. "Xander couldn't make it so he asked me to patrol with you instead. That cool?"

Faith frowned slightly. In Sunnydale 'he couldn't make it' could mean a lot. "Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's fine," Buffy replied, "He spaced on something Cordy wanted him to do. Now he's all dolled up in a monkey suit and off to face the hounds of Hollywood. I've seen him face death with more cheer. It's so not his scene."

Faith snorted in amusement as the image of Xander all dressed in formal wear, surrounded by movie stars, begging for the sweet, merciful release of death popped into her head. "Yeah, I can see it. Girl must really have him trained. She keep his balls in a bottle or something?"

It was Buffy's turn to laugh. "No. Cordy's not _that_ bad." She grinned. "He gets his shots in too. I distinctly recall him dragging her to a live Three Stooges play at the Sunnydale Theater."

Faith smirked at the mental picture of Princess Cordelia sitting in a dark theater, next to an enthralled Xander with a pained grimace on her face, watching some middle aged Stooge imitators smacking each other around, all the time wishing she had a rope to hang herself with. Now that was just damned funny.

"So, who are the new guys?"

"Oh, that's Jon and Larry. Xander told them about the nightlife today and brought them in to help. Jon's really smart and Larry is decent with a sword. He knows this trick with a sword where he makes the air sing. It's really neat."

"Wicked," Faith replied. "He's kind of cute, in that big dumb, hunky jock kinda way."

"He's also kinda gay," Buffy added, "So don't get your hopes up."

Faith's smile faltered for a moment as she remembered all the nasty stuff they said in church about homosexuals, but with a mental shrug, she dismissed it. It was like Connor and Murphy had always said. It didn't matter if a guy was queer as long as he wasn't a prick or a degenerate. Finally she nodded in acknowledgment. "That's cool."

Buffy gave Faith a long look, but if she'd noticed her uncomfortable pause, she didn't mention it. "So, do you want to meet the new guys?"

"Yeah, sounds good to me."

"Cool," Buffy said with a warm smile. "Larry, Jon, come over here and meet the Baby Slayer."

Faith shot Buffy a glare before smiling viciously. "Yeah, I'm the sexy, young Slayer. Buffy here's the crotchety, old Slayer."

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed, shooting Faith a venomous glare.

Faith simply grinned in response.

Larry stood up and, with a little wobble to his walk, came over followed by Jon, who seemed a bit reluctant to leave his book.

Not knowing exactly what to say to Larry, she smiled at Jon. "Hey, you're a cute one aren't you. You know what they say about short guys, they make up for it in other areas."

Jon blushed bright red and visibly tensed.

Faith almost cursed. She'd just screwed that one up royally. Kid was shy, real shy and she'd just embarrassed him. Not only did it make her look like a bitch, but she probably wouldn't be able to even look at the guy without him clamming up for the next couple days. Damn.

Fighting a sigh, she turned to Larry and forced a sincere looking smile onto her face. She already felt like a moron. She just hoped she didn't say anything stupid about him being a fruit. It really wasn't her damned business who he fucked, and the last thing she wanted was to be a bitch two for two.

"I hear you know how to handle a sword."

She felt like kicking herself. Yeah, way to be subtle, dumb ass.

If he'd noticed the double entendre, Larry didn't let on. "No, not really. I went as a pirate for Halloween and it seems like something stuck. It's pretty cool though."

Faith all but winced. Great. He was gay _and_ a sailor. That wasn't stereotypical. Nope, not one bit.

"So you were a..." Faith choked on the word 'butt', just managing not to say it, "Pirate, huh? Shiver me timbers, avast me hearties, and all that?"

"Well, yeah..." Larry said with a bit of apprehension in his voice, "But believe me, most pirates weren't very nice people."

Faith winced in sympathy. "Yeah, I can see that, what, with all the raping and pillaging and all."

Buffy and Larry both recoiled slightly at the word 'raping' and Faith felt that urge to kick herself return. Okay. She was a bitch. Two for two. Crap. Time to change the subject, fast!

"So why did you join the slay-team?" she asked.

"Well, Xander kind of drafted me," he said honestly, "Though it's not like I have any complaints. I've lost a lot of friends and team mates because of all this, and really, once you know only a real asshole can sit around and do nothing."

"Team mates?" Faith asked.

"Yeah," Larry said with a smile. "I'm on the football team."

Faith smiled slightly. Well there was the confirmation for an old pet theory. She'd always thought Football really was just one giant release for pent up homosexual tension as well as and an excuse for hot, sweaty men to shower together.

"Maybe I'll go to one of your games some time," she said in a friendly voice.

Larry's smile widened with honest happiness. "That would be great. Its always good to have a friend in the stands to help cheer you on."

"Cool, some time then," Faith promised, as she mentally refiled Larry as one of the girls.

The slight din of guitar music in the background ceased and Faith glanced over to Oz, who gave Willow a sweet little kiss on the cheek and started for the door.

"Heading out?" Buffy asked him.

"Yeah," he replied, "I have some stuff I gotta do."

Buffy nodded and glanced over to Faith. "Sounds like a good idea. The Vampires aren't going to slay themselves."

Faith nodded in agreement. "Yeah B. We should head out." She looked back to the pair of new recruits. "Nice meeting you guys."

BREAK

Cordelia was feeling a bit humiliated as she and Xander pulled into the complimentary valet parking at the hotel. Normally, she'd be happy to have valet parking. It made you look important. Today though, oh hell no. Valet parking also let everyone see what you were driving, and considering that they were in a car that was actually being held together by the rust, well, yeah. The less people who saw Xander's car the better.

With a smile on his face, Xander turned the car off and exited the vehicle. Immediately he circled around and opened her door, giving her a hand out. She just smiled at that. Xander was actually behaving himself, even being gentlemanly without her having to chide him. He was standing straight and looking a bit dashing in his tux, not at all slumped over and misplaced like she'd thought he'd act. She was very pleased at that. Maybe he wasn't quite as socially inept as she'd thought.

With the smile on his face and her hand in his, Xander passed the keys to the valet along with a small tip. "Here you go, and if anything falls off, don't worry, just throw it in the back seat and I'll take care of it later."

She winced. Never mind. Once a dork, always a dork.

BREAK

Ethan smiled as he sat down on his couch and opened up his carton of steamy, freshly delivered Beef with Broccoli. He took a deep breath to enjoy the sublime scents of beef, fried rice, and MSG. With a contented sigh, he lifted his remote and turned on the television, tuning it to his favorite mid-week rerun.

As the brassy, horn ridden theme of _Galaxy Quest_ began to play, Ethan lifted a delectable sliver of beef from the carton, only to drop it on the floor at the sound of a pounding knock on the door.

"Oh bloody hell!" he growled, plopping the carton onto the table and standing up with a sneer of indignation on his face. "Can't a man eat in bloody peace?"

Storming over to the door, he swung it open and blinked in surprise. On the other side, Willow's boyfriend, Oz was standing, holding a video cassette.

"So what do you want?" Ethan asked, letting the young man enter unrestricted.

"Xander said to drop this off," Oz stated holding out the video. "He dusted some vamps last night. We taped it."

"Brilliant!" Ethan exclaimed. "Well then, enough of this then," he said changing the channel and putting the tape in. "So how did my boy do last night."

"Kicked ass," Oz stated, "Watch the recording."

Ethan nodded and sat back, picking up his Chinese and watched as Xander tore through a pack of vamps, saving a feisty little co-ed from death and resurrection as one of the undead. The strength and ferocity with which the boy fought was impressive. The vampires wouldn't have even had a chance, even if Xander hadn't gotten the drop on them. He especially liked how Xander had the saucy little bint stake the last Vamp. Now, he would admit to himself that he looked a bit unused to his own speed and power, and his throwing accuracy was a bit off to say the least, in general, Ethan had to admit that Xander's transformation had exceeded his expectations.

Ethan smiled. Things were looking good. It seemed that the boy was going to be a powerful weapon in the fight against darkness, and would be a total hoot to keep an eye on. That was, if there were no complications. In that case, he had his car fueled and ready to head towards Mexico on a moment's notice. He had few illusions as to what Ripper would do to him if this spell went awry.

"So," Ethan asked Oz, "What do you think of our new Hunter?"

"He's the Man-Slayer," Oz replied, "Just like we wanted."

"Yes, yes," Ethan replied, "I mean, what do you think of his current emotional state? Has he been acting strangely, any disturbing behaviors or tendencies?"

Oz frowned slightly. "Why are you asking?"

"Let me put this in a way that you'll easily understand," Ethan began, "Xander has just undergone the magical equivalent of extensive and dangerous surgery. As the Mage who cast the ritual, I am the equivalent of his doctor. I need to know if there are any complications."

"Like if the Hyena's going to take over, or if he's going to turn into a fish?" Oz asked.

"The fish is not really a concern," Ethan replied. "Transfiguration is one of my specialties. I've done far more impressive transformations with far less preparation. If anything goes wrong with the physical aspect, I will happily turn in my mage cred, take to wearing tweed, and become a..." Ethan shuddered. "_Librarian_. Fate worse than death, that."

"So you're worried about the Hyena?"

"For the most part, yes." Ethan admitted. "But the soldier is also a concern. I am knowledgeable in mind magics as well as the physical, enough to know they are always a far less exacting art. With physical transformation it is simply an issue of causing or preventing changes in the body. The mind is far more dynamic and malleable. It's not unlike trying to stitch together pieces of Jello, really."

Ethan took a breath. "Right now, the link between Xander's mind and those of the Soldier and Hyena is still raw, it has yet to heal. I need to keep a close eye on him because there is a possibility for, for lack of a better word, infection. His personality is meant to be dominate but there is a small, but very real threat that one of the others might begin to unduly affect or even come to dominate the core persona. In the case of the soldier, there would be a possibility for Xander to lose his identity, but the personal risk to life and limb would probably be limited. In the case of the Hyena though, I doubt I have to tell you how bloody dangerous a primal with the fighting skills of an experienced soldier would be."

"Yeah, that would suck," Oz admitted. "So what you do need to know."

"How is Xander behaving differently than normal?"

"Well, he's acting a bit more... primal." Oz admitted, "But he's in control. It doesn't seem any worse than me and the wolf."

Ethan smiled. That was good. Any extremes of behavior and he'd have been on his way for the border in the morning. A werewolf normal level of control was completely acceptable, and was really about the level he'd been shooting for. "What else?"

"He's acting like a soldier, trying to get our gang to be more serious." Oz replied, "You know, going on about planning, tactics, equipment, and stuff."

Ethan frowned slightly. "Explain?"

"Xander's being a little gung-ho about it, but most of it makes sense. I think he's just looking at things differently," Oz paused before slowly adding, " I think he's just viewing the situation through the soldier's 'lens of experience'. Know what I mean?"

"I believe I do," Ethan replied.

"It's like he's just seeing things from a new angle. It's like the soldiers a bass guitar. It adds to the sound, but the drums are still keeping time."

"So your not seeing any real changes?"

Oz nodded. "Yeah. He's a bit more serious, but he's still Xander."

"Any other oddities in his behavior?" Ethan asked.

"Well," Oz added, "He doesn't like Communists."

"Really now?" Ethan laughed.

"Big time irrational hatred," Oz replied, "I told him that Sunnydale has a Communist party and he looked like he was ready to firebomb the place."

"I see," Ethan thought aloud, "And when did this Soldier Guy fight?"

"Not sure. Vietnam to the end of the Cold War?"

Ethan parsed his lips. "Then I believe that while this hatred may be a bit strong, it's probably not irrational. Its a product of his era and experience."

"He mentioned seeing the Killing Fields," Oz added.

"Bloody hell," Ethan murmured through a wince. "I take it back. His hatred is definitely rational."

Oz nodded and looked Ethan in the eyes. "So Xander's going to be okay?"

"I can't say for sure, at least not yet, but from the sound of it the chances of serious problems are marginal at best."

"Oh, cool." Oz replied. "Hey, you have any extra Chinese? Haven't eaten yet."

"Have an Egg Roll," Ethan offered, pulling one out of the bag. "I don't like them anyways."

"Thanks," Oz replied, taking it, "But if you don't like them, why get one?"

Ethan shrugged. "It comes free with any order above ten dollars."

"Oh, cool."

"So, where's that Girlfriend of yours been?" Ethan inquired. "She's a fast study, but I still have much to teach her."

"Ever since school started up and Buffy came back we've all been pretty busy," Oz replied, biting into the fried roll.

"Learning magic without instruction is very dangerous," Ethan stated, "It's not unlike playing with matches in a fireworks factory."

Oz winced. "I'll drop some hints."

BREAK

Xander Harris sighed as he ate his third platter of sushi in so many minutes. Somehow there was something very special about the taste of raw fish.

He had to admit that he was much less of a sore thumb at this party than he's expected to be, but that was probably Soldier Guy's influence. Old SG'd been invited to many a mixer with the powerful and important during his day, usually in order to pin some piece of metal to his chest. He'd never been entirely comfortable at such events. Everyone here was playing a role, and it made his skin crawl.

Cordy on the other hand seemed to be mingling very well. That was to be expected. She was raised on this kind of crap. It really was her element. Plenty of people to network with, to say the least.

There were Hollywood hopefuls aplenty around, along with a number of A and B list actors. Really, it was a utter collection of Hollywood somebodies. Kevin Sorbo was by the dip, Richard Crosby was off by the punch bowl talking to Cameron Drake, Martin Weir was telling a story, Aaron Echolls was shamelessly chatting up a group of female hopefuls, and if he remembered more names he could probably place more faces.

With a shrug, Xander decided that maybe some punch was in order and started towards the bowl. As he walked, he took in a deep breath and paused. There was a very interesting scent in the air. Idly, he pocketed his chopsticks and downed the last pieces of sushi, deciding to follow the odor to its origin.

Over the punch bowl was standing a stunningly beautiful blond. Taking a deep breath, he smiled and made a decision. Oh yes, he'd have to get this beauty off to the side for a little alone time.

"Hey," he said with a smile. "I'm Xander."

The woman smiled. It was as stunning as the rest of her. "I'm Kelly."

"So," he began. "What do you think of the party?"

She sighed, "This party is so dead."

"More like undead," he replied. "I've seen Zombie Movies with more personality."

She nodded. "Yeah, you'd think that with so many famous people things would be more... interesting."

"You'd think," Xander replied as he looked in the punch bowl and retrieved himself a cup.

Taking a long draw from his glass, he noted the strong flavors of Vodka and Rum hidden beneath the sweetness. Placing his glass back down, he reached over for a Root Beer. He was driving and from the taste of it, the punch was probably about 70 proof. Opening his soda, he looked over the crowd and frowned slightly.

"I think I know why this party's such a bomb," he thought aloud.

Kelly raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I don't think these parties exist for the good of the hopefuls. I think its just another way for the rich and self-important to pad their precious egos. It's actually kind of sick."

"I never thought of it that way..." she smiled. "So, how about we liven things up?"

"Oh?" Xander asked.

"I know this little out of the way spot. We could have our own party..."

Xander smiled. Jackpot. "Works for me."

BREAK

As Kelly pushed him into an isolated corner of the drive in parking lot, Xander struggled to keep his mind clear. She couldn't keep her hands to herself, and goddamn, this chick was good with them!

"So, are we there yet?" he wondered.

"Almost," she cooed. "Just over there."

Xander glanced over and smiled. Right behind a wall that lead to a fire escape. Very secluded, very private, and absolutely perfect for what he intended to do.

"Lead the way Princess."

She smiled and drug him into the hidden corner and before he could react, kissed him passionately. Gagging through her embrace, he literally threw her off of him, sending her crashing to the floor.

"Okay, play time's over, Draculina," he growled.

"What?" she exclaimed looking up to him in shock. "How?"

He pulled out his chopsticks and looked her in the eyes. "You smell like a Vamp, have no reflection in the punch bowl, and big hair hasn't been in since the 80s."

She snarled and stood up, slipping into game-face. "I actually liked you, you know. You're funny. I was going to let you have some fun before I ate you, and if you were a good lay, I was going to turn you. Now you're just going to die, little hunter."

Xander sighed and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her clear off the ground and smashing her into the wall.

"What the hell?" she exclaimed.

"I'm not a hunter," Xander stated with a smile, "I'm _the_ Hunter."

With a flick of the wrist, he rammed his chopsticks between her ribs, and the vampire exploded into dust. Xander sighed and looked down at himself. Great, they'd probably charge him extra to clean the vampire grit out. Damn it all.

He sighed and with a shrug, picked up the vampire's purse. She must have dropped it when he threw her off. With a shrug, he opened it up. Inside was the normal stuff you'd expect. ID, credit cards, money clip, lipstick, compact, perfume.

With a smile, he removed the money clip and counted the amount of cash. 175 dollars. Not bad. Not bad at all, he had to admit. The credit cards and ID were generally useless. Wasn't a good idea to muck around with traceable assets. The rest, well, maybe Cordelia would like it. He doubted she'd want used cosmetics but the purse looked fashionable and the perfume seemed to be name brand.

BREAK

Xander smiled as he walked into the main ball room like a cock on the walk. Nothing like a mission accomplished to make a man feel like a man. Nothing like dusting a vamp to make a dull party more exciting.

He smiled as he saw his beautiful girlfriend walking towards him. "Hey Cordy, how are you..."

Before he could finish his statement, she slapped him. Hard.

"You son of a bitch!"


	8. Chapter 8

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

A shout out to Skyzeta and dogbertcarroll, without whom this chapter would have been much harder to write.

Hunter  
Chapter 8: So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish  
By PsyckoSama ()

"Cordy, as cliche as it sounds, this really isn't what it looks like."

She was furious, "Oh it isn't, is it? Cause if it looks like a cliche and acts like a cliche, it's a cliche, and this cliche is called 'loser cheating boyfriend'."

After all the things she'd been through she thought, her brain was spinning trying to wrap itself around what she'd just seen.

"Cordy, she wasn't my type," he said through gritted teeth. "A real _vamp_. I was showing her the way out. You know giving her a _dust_ off?"

Even a year ago, she would have just laughed at him, now it just made her madder as she lifted him up by an ear "Now you listen to me very clearly Mister, this is my night and I need this night. Mess it up trying to be a hero and I swear, I will make sure you're useless to a woman, got that?" she growled at him, holding a scolding finger in front of his face.

"Cordy," he said as quietly as possible. "She would have killed someone. It is the reason she was here."

She was in no mood. "Xander! I need one night away from Sunnydale, one night to get MY life on track and you can't even give me that?"

"I'd love to." He sighed. "But I can't. Not at the cost of someone's life."

She looked at him, she knew what she had to do, didn't mean she liked it any better "Then you need to think about what's important to you Xander. I have more planned for my life than to be some hero's wife and a widow by twenty. And if you can't accept or accommodate that..."

Xander sighed again. "Cordy..."

She wasn't going to let him off "No, not 'Cordy', you can't have it all. You wanna be a hero, you'll do it without me" she sighed deeply, gesturing to the crowd that she was alright and walking in, trying to salvage what remained of the night.

Xander sighed again. "Just wonderful..."

-- --

Cordy sighed deeply as she walked back into the party, trying to clear her head. She knew that she had to get her head back in the game. Things like this could make or break her, and she simply didn't have the resources she did this time last year. Taking a few deep breaths to calm and steady herself, she straightened her dress and started to mingle, putting on her best faux smile.

As she moved her way through the crowd, she didn't realize that she'd attracted more attention that she'd imagined, namely that of Aaron Echolls. He was furious that his security had let a _vampire_ of all things into the hotel. He would have their heads on a platter for it, especially as Trina was here fluttering about somewhere, trying to get started on her own.

Still, it isn't all bad. It looks like that girl was another hopeful, and who knew, maybe this night could be a good night after all. He picked up a glass of the most expensive wine before moving in her direction

Cordy was in a fog, not that she wasn't doing well for herself mind you, she was sure that she had made a stunning impression on several of the notables, though she was pretty sure that impression didn't rise much above her neck.

"Men," she sighed to herself as she moved on before almost running into someone. With a deep scowl on her face, she looked up to chastise to person who'd almost spilled some very expensive wine on her dress. As she looked up though, she she hadn't run into some no name nobody. It was Aaron Echolls.

He held out a hand "Hi, Aaron Echolls"

Cordelia repressed her first impulse, which was to compliment him on his stunning mastery of the obvious. Instead, she extended her hand slowly.

"Hi, Cordelia Chase," she said carefully.

She'd heard all about the rumors of the 'Aaron Echolls Casting Couch: No Clothing Required', and after the night she'd had, she had no patience for a plainly overrated actor trying to grope her in exchange for the role of a ten second part as screaming bimbo. That was just beneath her, and it's not like he'd ever done a role of any real meaningful importance, just dumb action hero stuff. It was beneath an actress of her abundant talent and destiny.

Aaron flashed his best film star smile and inwardly chuckled. Well, this is interesting. This one's actually had some spine. Normally all he had to do was look them in the eyes and they couldn't strip their clothes off fast enough. This could be fun.

He took another sip of his champagne, after all, this was something to savor. "So, you're here looking for parts, maybe I can help. Always looking to start some new promising actress' young career."

Cordy inwardly cringed and had to hold onto her gag reflex. My god. What did he think she was, a prostitute? Still, decorum must be maintained.

"Well, I'm always looking for any leg up I can get, tough crowd out there." She smiled to which Aaron nodded.

"Yes, always good to have friends isn't it?"

Cordy sighed. God, this seemed like something out of one of those bad porno movies she'd always feared she'd walk in on Xander watching.

Ick. Bad place!

Aaron was beginning to get frustrated. He'd dangled the bait, yet she still refused to bite. It was annoying to say the least. He sighed, probably one of those goody two shoes determined to make her way 'on her merits' who by the time she was twenty would be a drugged out stripper. Self-righteous bitch, oh how he hated girls like that. It's the way it's done, why couldn't they just accept it?

"Um, will you excuse me, I'm not feeling well," Cordy said, with a distressed tone to her voice. "I think the seafood isn't sitting well."

Aaron nodded. "Yeah sure, of course."

She sighed as she moved her way to the bathroom, only half to maintain her cover as Aaron really did make her sick to her stomach. Somehow it disturbed her that there didn't seem to be much difference between a 40 year old movie star who was worth millions and had a family, and the captain of the football team. Maybe it was like her mother had always said: men were good for their bank account and not much else.

-- --

Xander sighed deeply as he gazed into the garden fountain. Well today was swiftly proving to be an honest to god Charlie Foxtrot, though, considering the state of his life in general, maybe his Karma was simply returning to its natural state of SNAFU. Either way, he simply wished he could catch a fucking break.

He hated to think about it, it pained him deeply to even consider it, but the simple fact was that it was over between him and Cordelia. It was strange that for the first time since he'd become the Hunter, all the elements of his multi-faceted personality were running completely in tune. He felt sick, the soldier was morose, and even the hyena was off in a metaphysical corner with its tail between its legs. The worst part, though, the one that made it all so absolutely intolerable was simple fact that no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't blame her.

He'd made the decision the second he let Ethan put this shit in him. Really, he was starting to get the nagging feeling that he'd been played. Though in all honestly, even if he had been, he couldn't find the will to be that mad. Things were going to shit with Cordy and he had a feeling that there were some rough spots ahead with the others, but he'd made his decision, and if he had it to do over, he'd probably do the same all over again. He loved Cordy, but she simply didn't want the same things he did.

He sighed once again. And she was right, she deserved better than to be a hanger on of someone who'd been suicidal enough to have a Chaos Mage of dubious sanity diddle with his DNA and possess him with a primal spirit to turn him into a superhuman. He wanted her, he loved her, and in the end, as long as she was happy, he was happy. Still, regardless, it would have been nice to have something turn out okay at least once in his life.

"You look like a man who could use a drink."

"I don't drink," Xander said without even bothering to look up.

"That's good because I'm not offering you alcohol."

Xander glanced up, and in surprise he found himself looking at a smiling Kevin Sorbo who held out a coffee cup to him. "I've always found the worst thing you can do when you're feeling down or have some heavy thinking to do is to take a depressant. It just feeds the problem. This'll help you clear your head."

Xander smiled and accepted it. He was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was Turkish coffee and not your average cup of Joe. It had been a long while since he'd had Turkish coffee. Actually, it had been a while since Soldier Guy had it, Xander Harris had never even touched the stuff. With a slight smile on his face, Xander took a sip and savored it. He'd definably have to see if anyone sold it in Sunnydale.

Taking this as an invite, the actor sat next to him and looked over. While Xander didn't really want the company, it was kind of cool to have a TV star taking personal interest in you.

"That was a brave thing you did," Kevin said.

Xander blinked and glanced over. Did he know? "What are you talking about?"

"Not many people have the courage to take on a vampire single handedly. Most people simply would have just avoided her."

Xander blinked in surprise. "Wait, so you know about the nightlife?"

Kevin nodded. "Most of the people in prosthetic makeup you see on my show, well, they're in makeup but its sure not prosthetic."

This surprised Xander. "So you're telling me that you use actual demons to play monsters on your show?"

"Not just my show," he said with a smile, "Most shows do. If you see a strange looking alien, a monster, demon, or a creature of the week, there's a reasonable chance that you're looking at a demon. It's cheaper."

Xander laughed then cocked his head. "If that's true, then why did all the movie monsters back in the fifties and sixties look so damned fake?"

Kevin laughed and patted him on the shoulder. "That was back before Star Wars."

Xander blinked in surprise. "Huh?"

"George Lucas was the first real equal opportunity employer in Hollywood." He shrugged. "Which isn't a surprise really, considering Lucas is from another dimension."

Xander's jaw simply dropped. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. It was just so... so... what the fuck? "You're telling me the creator of Star Wars is a demon?"

"He's human, just not from Earth. This is mostly rumor, mind you. The Star Wars movies are apparently based off of some ancient legends from his home world."

"Wow." Xander's eyes lit up with nerd joy. "Does that mean Jedi are real?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Can't say for sure. I've never met one."

"Okay." Xander laughed. "I have to admit, this has to be the most awesome thing I've ever heard."

Kevin smiled. "So, you kill vampires often?"

Xander nodded. "Hard not to when you live on a Hellmouth."

Kevin's eyes widened slightly and he took a deep breath. "You live on a Hellmouth?"

"Yeah," Xander said with a nod. "Your basic gateway to Hell. Hence the creative name, 'Hellmouth'."

Kevin nodded. "And your girlfriend said you're from Sunnydale?"

"Yep, good old Sunnyhell, California."

"I think I understand things better now," Kevin thought aloud. "You want to protect the world from these nightmares and your girlfriend wants to escape?"

"Basically. Don't get me wrong though. In Sunnydale there are three types of people: those in the know who fight, those who know and join the other team, and those who stick their heads in the sand and pretend it doesn't exist. She fights because she has to, but she wants out. Me, I'm pretty much in this for life. It's not something I can walk away from." Xander sighed. "Problem is I just don't know what to say to her. I don't want to lose her but I can't just stick my head in the sand and pretend none of it ever happened."

"Actually," Kevin said, looking him in the eyes. "What you need to tell her is pretty simple."

Xander looked up. "And what's that?"

"The truth."

He winced. "The truth ain't easy."

"Listen, kiddo, I've had more than my fair share of relationships, and if there's one thing I can tell you it's that lying to a woman or trying to give her a work around will also blow up in your face in the end. It's best just to tell her the truth and let her judge for herself." He smiled. "If it's meant to be, things will turn out fine. If it's not, then just value the time you had together. Life is fleeting and its those happy moments that make it worth living."

Xander sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of. So, and an actor and a philosopher?"

"I used to know a few very good teachers," Kevin smiled mirthfully before handing Xander a pair of business cards. "Here, if you ever need anything, and I mean anything, just give me a call."

"I'll pass them onto Cordy," he sighed. Maybe tonight wouldn't be a total bust for him.

"Don't count me out just yet." The actor laughed. "I did a bit of monster hunting myself, back in the day."

"Seriously?" Xander asked in surprise. He never really was much into the Hercules show, but damn, this guy was proving to be pretty damned cool.

"Yep. It's been a while but if you're ever need the help I still have some fight left in me," He replied. "Listen, call me when you get home and give me your number and your girlfriend's."

"Why?" Xander asked, confused.

"Shooting for the new season's starting soon, and we're filming a few of the episodes in here in California. If the two of you are good enough to fight vampires then I think you'd be able to survive a few fight scenes."

"I'm not an actor."

"If you'd asked me that when I was young, I'd have said the same thing."

Xander sighed. "Okay, I'll do it."

"Great," Kevin stood up. "By the way, I never got your name."

"Xander Harris," He paused for a moment, then added, "My girlfriend is Cordelia Chase."

"I knew an Alexander once," the actor reflected. "He was a great man. You remind me of him. Well, I'll be seeing you, and make sure to call me. Good luck, kid."

"Thanks."

With a nod, the TV star started back toward the party. Xander smiled slightly and shook his head. Today was just getting stranger and stranger. His breakup with his girlfriend was all but guaranteed and he'd just been given a heart to heart by freckin' Hercules. Still, at least now he might be able to placate her immanent righteous feminine fury with the offer of a role.

Why did _he_ always have to be the universe's Butt Monkey?

-- --

As she walked away, fuming she saw something that made her stop dead in her tracks. It looked like Willow! It couldn't be, or could it? But if it was, what was she doing here in LA?

She blanched wondering what horrid fate could have forced Willow to come to LA to find Xander. Really, she shuddered to even think about it. Taking a deep breath, she followed Willow for a moment, trying to catch up with her and get her attention "Willow!"

Trina Echolls was bored with the part, of course her father was hamming it up, no doubt looking for his next hopeful to put on the infamous Aaron Echolls casting couch. She stopped as someone kept calling 'Willow' in her direction. She stopped, trying to remember if she'd played a role named Willow yet. She couldn't remember but she decided to spare this obvious fan the embarrassment of calling her out.

"Sorry, I don't think I've ever played anyone named Willow." she said, extending her hand to greet the stranger. "Trina Echolls."

Cordy felt like such a fool. "Oh, sorry," she stumbled out "You just look a lot like, well, someone I know." With that said, she decided to make a hasty retreat before she made even more of an ass of herself.

Trina stopped her. "Wait, you know someone who looks like me? Maybe they're a relation."

If she'd been given a script for this, Trina wouldn't have believed it, but here it is was. Maybe she could find out if she had any blood kin. Not that she wasn't grateful to the Echolls, and didn't consider herself one, but she'd always wanted to know about her birth parents.

Cordy took a breath. Oh brother... She'd just gotten herself into a royal mess on this one. She paused as she tried to figure a way out of it. Eventually she decided to simply write down Willow's name, address and phone number. She'd let Willow figure it out. As far as she was concerned, she'd already had a weird enough day already, and was off the clock for helping people.

-- --

As they approached the valet lot, Xander felt like a man walking to his execution. There was no escaping it now. Things were imminent. He didn't want to admit it, but it was true. He'd received some good advice from an unexpected source, but he doubted that all the advice in the world could forestall the inevitable on this one. He'd fucked up and he was about to face the music.

Sadly, he presented his ticket to the valet and waited for his car to be returned to him. He closed his eyes and let the minutes pass in silence.

"Here you go sir, and nothing fell off."

Xander opened his eyes and shot the man a sad smile, taking his keys and presenting him with a tip.

"Thanks," the valet said, giving him a genuine smile and a wave before leaving Xander to his fate.

He breathed deeply to still his nerves and help Cordelia into the car. Walking around to the other side, he let himself in and switched on the radio. It was on her channel. Normally they'd fight for it, but he'd already caused her enough problems tonight and would at least have the courtesy of giving her this.

Without a word said, he pulled out onto the street and then onto the freeway, leaving the Hotel and then Los Angeles behind them as they entered the desert beyond. He could only sigh as some terribly morose track started playing on the radio. Story of his life, lady.

Cordy sighed, looking at the radio again, wondering who the song on the radio was, somehow, it seemed so fitting, then she remembered Sarah MacGlaughin, she couldn't remember the name. After listening to it for a minute, she began to open her mouth. "Xander..."

He sighed deeply and his knuckles whitened as he grasped the wheel. So this was it, the moment of truth. Fuck.

"Yes?" he asked looking over, trying to keep his voice level.

"We need to talk..."

"I know," he said, closing his eyes for a moment. "I know."

You know it's funny, she'd been here plenty of times before, yet on some level, she had to admit that this was different than all the others. This wasn't an excuse to go round up Harmony and the others and gossip to make herself feel better, this was something else. Still she knew she had to do it, no matter how badly it hurt. "Xander, I'm not sure how to say this, but I think we both know it..."

"Cordelia." He sighed.

She took a breath to steady herself. "Just say it."

"I have a confession to make."

She stopped. This wasn't what she expected, though somehow she suspected that this wasn't going to be a pleasant kind of surprise, no this was going to be one of those that would make things worse, she knew it in her very bones.

"This isn't easy for me to tell you but I recently did something pretty stupid."

She looked at him matter-of-factly, and said, "How is this different than normal?"

She instantly regretted it.

Why did she always have to play that stupid game? He looked at her, his face a far cry from his normal set of expressions. Gone was his omnipresent mirth and humor, instead all he presented a serious, sorrowful mask to the world that served to italicize the pure _seriousness_ of the matter. "Not this stupid."

She stopped. Stopped talking, stopped thinking, stopped breathing. She'd seen that face before, she knew what it meant. "Xander," she said in a whisper.

He took a deep breath, this wasn't going to be easy so he'd just start from the beginning, otherwise he'd never be able to finish. "Over the summer we were in over our heads. Really over our heads. If a big bad had showed up we'd have all been dead."

She looked at him, Xander Harris: Master of the Obvious. "Well, duh, next up at 11, water is confirmed to be wet..."

Ignoring her sarcasm, he continued. "We decided that we needed a Slayer, no matter the cost. We didn't have the Slayer anymore and didn't know if Buffy was ever coming back, well, we decided to come up with a substitute."

She was horrified, she knew where this was going. "Tell me you didn't..."

"On the night with the candy, I went out looking to kill Ethan Rayne."

She smacked him and then, finding that it felt good, continued to pelt him "You did it, didn't you?! You made yourself some kind of made in Taiwan knock off Slayer, didn't you?!"

"Yes!" he cried out. All he wanted to do was get this out, all she wanted to do was pelt him, apparently. "Now stop hitting me and let me finish!"

She didn't let up. "No! Why should I?! You obviously didn't give a damn about what I thought or I'd have heard about this long before now"

"It only happened a couple DAYS ago! I've been spending the last few days coming to terms with it myself." He said in exasperation, "If you'd let me finish you'd have known that!"

She finally stopped on account of feeling a little better. "No! I don't want to hear about it, don't you dare speak to me or I swear to you, I will make you regret it, understand?"

"Cordy, I already do." He sighed wishing she could understand, or failing that, at least listen to him. "Believe me, I do. I wasn't in my right mind when I did this. I was feeling frustrated, angry, and completely worthless. He saw that and used it to con me into going through with it."

She glared at him, she knew he probably had a good reason but the truth was at this particular point, she just did not care. "Xander, stop." Seeing that he was about to interrupt, she held up a hand. "I mean it"

"Cordelia." He sighed in equal parts exhaustion and exasperation. "I'm an idiot, I think we can both agree on that, but I never wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry."

She couldn't even look at him. "Yes you are, now either be quiet or let me out so I can hitch home cause I don't wanna talk to you anymore..."

Xander nodded, and turned his focus to the road, fighting the sickly feeling that threatened to overwhelm him. Great. The one worthwhile thing in his life, gone. Wonderful. Just wonderful. It made him feel empty inside, cold and in pain, like someone had stabbed him in the stomach with a spear made of ice. It just wasn't fucking fair, not that life ever was.

The car remained silent except for the sounds of the radio for what seemed like an eternity. The signs passed and the tension remained thick enough to cut with a knife between them. After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, Xander sighed and reached into his pocket, removing one of Kevin's business cards. He didn't think it would help, but at least this way the night wasn't a total loss, at least not for her.

Holding it out to Cordy, he said, "Here."

She took it, and looked down at it, her eyes widening slightly in surprise.

"He said he has a role for you."

She nodded slightly, gave him a mumbled thanks, and turned back to the window.

Well, that went well.

With a deep sigh, he kept driving, just losing himself in the road. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they passed the Welcome to Sunnydale sign. He was feeling both sad and a bit relieved. When they got to her place, it was over, completely, all childish illusions of a last moment reconciliation dismissed. On the same note it would also mean that this damnable tension would be lifted, and at this point, he'd do almost anything to have that.

He tensed as he pulled up to her apartment building. This was it. He sighed. Crap.

Slowly, he left the car and went around to help her out. It was still her night, no matter how badly things had spiraled to hell. He still was going to show her the gentlemanly respect a girl like her deserved. Without a word said, he opened her door, and helped her out of the car. She barely even spared him a glance, and started to head home, but stopped after a moment.

She slowly turned around and looked him in the eyes, "Xander?"

"Yes?" he asked, wondering why she was so insistent on punishing him. Just leave, please. Stop twisting the damned knife.

"I know why you did it, Xander," she said in a whisper. "I know you've never forgotten Jesse, how how you wonder how things might have been different. I don't blame you. We're just on different roads and well, this is my off-ramp" She smiled slightly before starting to walk back towards her apartment.

She stopped halfway again, turning around. "What the hell, once more for the road?" she asked before walking up to him, embracing him and kissing him deeply one last time.

Taking this as his one last chance, he held her closely and kissed her with as much passion as he could. Drawing on soldier guy's full, and extensive knowledge of how to please a woman he used every trick and technique he could to heighten the experience.

He was rewarded by a soft moan into his mouth as she began to rub herself against him, savoring the sensation. It was the reward of a job well done. Slowly though, and with much reluctance to both parties, she let him go.

"Cordelia," he said softly as she began to pull away from him.

"What?"

"Good bye."

"Bye," she said so softly it was almost to herself as she finally began to walk home in earnest, the song she'd heard a few hours before echoing in her head.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE**

If anyone is wondering what the hell Kevin Sorbo is doing here, well, look up Hercules the Legendary Journeys episode 74.


	9. Chapter 9

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

A shout out to Skyzeta for all his help with this chapter.

Hunter  
Chapter 9: Countdown to Judgment Day  
By PsyckoSama

Xander Harris walked into school with a definite sense of foreboding. He'd made one very bad mistake the previous night. Well, he'd made many mistakes the previous night, but one stood unresolved and it had the potential to seriously burn him. He'd forgotten to tell Cordelia that he hadn't actually told the others about his little power up yet. If she let that slip he'd be in for a whole world of shit, not that he wasn't perfectly aware that he had to deal with it eventually. Hopefully before Willow figured it out for herself and went crying to the nearest sympathetic shoulder, which would probably be Buffy.

Taking a deep breath he walked up behind Cordelia, suppressing the urge to whimper like a kicked puppy. This wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be like rubbing salt into an open wound, really.

"Hi, Cordy," he said calmly.

She turned around to face him and pursed her lips, looking uncomfortably stone-faced. He obviously wasn't the only one with conflicted emotions. "Yes, Xander?" she asked, tersely.

"We need to talk." He paused. "It's pretty important."

She glanced at him levelly and crossed her arms. "You sure about that?"

"Oh yeah." He sighed. "You know that 'thing' we discussed last night?"

She simply rolled her eyes. "Relax Xander, I have no intention of blowing your secret. Are we done?"

He grinned. How to say this without looking like a total dolt? "Not quite. You see, the others, don't quite _know_ about it yet."

Yeah. Real smooth.

"Xander, I kinda guessed that," she replied, "I'll keep your secret, are we done?"

"Thanks, Cordelia," he said with a thin, but not entirely honest smile.

"Yeah." She turned away and started to leave.

He sighed. "For what it's worth, I really am sorry. About everything."

She paused and turned and her face softened slightly. "I know," she said before turning back and leaving.

Xander sighed and rubbed his forehead. Shit. Well, at least that was one disaster averted.

With a scowl he looked up at the bell as it rang, disrupting his momentary interlude. Great. Time for class.

BREAK

Xander sighed to himself as he picking at his third meal during lunch. It seemed that his transformation had its downside. He used to like food as much as any healthy teenager, but this was getting ridiculous. He was easily downing enough food for three, and craving seconds. Still, life could be worse. Of course, instantly after saying that he knew he'd jinxed it, because here came Willow and the start of what he was afraid of would be the snowball from hell.

Willow settled beside him and smiled. "Hey, Xander," she said affectionately.

He put on his best smile. "Hey, Wills, how's life in the wonderful world of Sunnydale High?" he asked, hoping to get her started on something, anything other than his breakup. That could only lead to a bad place.

"Nice try Xander, but I've already heard." she said, coyly.

Oh Hell.

"So, are you okay, with the whole breaking up thing I mean?" she asked expectantly, and with the odd yet awkward sincerity that only his Willow could manage.

He paused, trying to figure out how to respond. "Yeah, yeah. I'm okay I guess. I saw it coming for a long time but," he trailed off, unsure how to finish the thought but Willow chimed in for him.

"Still hurts, huh?"

He nodded. Yeah, that it did. "But I'm alright, still have you, Buffy, and a town full of unspeakable horrors ready to devour us all, what more does a guy need?" He laughed, though hollowly and instantly realized his mistake.

Damned. Concerned Willow face. No good can come of this.

"Xander, you sure your okay? If some thing's up you need to talk about, we can talk about it, you know?"

He sighed deeply. Here it goes. "There was a vampire, at the party and well," He shrugged. "You know the drill."

"Xander!" Willow looked at him in shock. "What were you thinking?! All that stuff about working together and you go off and do something like you're," She stopped, a horrifying suspicion dawning on her. "Buffy."

Holy all seven words you can't say on TV! Oh well. Alea Iacta Es. He knew that any attempt to beat around the bush would backfire, so he decided that his only real option was to just hop out of the pan and get it over with.

"Yeah, Willow," he said, "You got me. That's why, well, I've been different."

Willow gasped in shock, all color fading from her face. "Xander, how could you? That was only if Buffy didn't come back!"

Xander looked out the window to clear his thoughts before speaking. How to say this without hurting her feelings. Bah. Forget it. She wants an honest answer, she'll get one. "I hated being useless," he said with much bitterness. "You know you can do research, Giles can do all kinds of stuff, what could I do?" He sneered. "Fetch donuts, get thrown around like a rag doll, or have Angel pretend I'm food for him and Spike." He stopped himself. "I wanted to be more, that's all Willow, I just wanted to be more."

Willow nodded. "Well, I, um." She trailed off.

Xander laughed. "It's okay Wills, I know it's a lot to take in, here. Listen, I still owe you ice cream from yesterday, right?"

She shook her head numbly. "I'm not hungry." She paused. "Xander, when did you, well, you know?"

"Couple nights ago," Xander replied. "The night with the band candy I got really pissed and went to.." He stopped himself, last thing he needed to do was get Willow even more upset with the fact that he went there to kill Ethan that night even before he'd gotten all powered up. He sighed. "He talked me into it, and here we are."

She nodded. "Are you?" she nervously. After the whole Angelus business, she had to ask.

"Am I okay?" He grinned. "Yeah, Ethan says I should be fine. Brains all wired the way it should be. No Angelus 2.0, Wills, I promise"

"Good, well I should be going, I need to," she paused, "get to class."

As he watched her retreat, he face palmed. Oh, wonderful And of course, he'd just _had_ to bring Angelus into that conversation. Idiot. Today was going to be all kinds of interesting, that was for sure.

BREAK

Willow drifted out of her class, still feeling numb and overwhelmed from Xander's lunchroom revelation when Buffy walked up to her.

"Willow!" she said, trying to get her attention. After a confused moment, where Willow seemed to just drift right past her, she tried again. "Willow, you alright?"

Willow shook her head. "Yeah, a lot on my mind."

Buffy nodded. "I heard about Xander, bound to happen though what with Cordelia being, well, Cordelia." She shook her head. Well, at least it made sense to her and that's what counted in the end right?

Willow shook her head. "Buffy, I," She stopped. She knew Xander had told her in confidence, but it was all she could do to figure out a way not to make Buffy suspicious.

"Willow, what's wrong? You look like you just broke your dad's binoculars or something."

Willow after sputtering for a moment just decided to stand mute.

Buffy winced. There was some big, uncomfortable secret being kept. She had to wonder if Willow knew about Angel. After an awkward few moments, she looked at Willow. "Will, you're scaring me. What's going on?"

Willow paused, looking around. "Can we go somewhere not the library and less-," she trailed off, looking for the right words.

"Public?" Buffy supplied for her, to which Willow gratefully nodded.

She paused, thinking about it, then gestured to an empty classroom.

They sat down in awkward silence before Willow finally broke it. "Xander, see, well he told me something."

Buffy was confused, reassured, and frightened all at the same time. That wasn't about Angel, but it sure wasn't something comfortable. "What'd he tell you?"

"You know how you well, had to go, well, somewhere for a while, you know, to work things out?" she asked.

Buffy nodded. "Not likely to forget that point of my life anytime soon, what about it?"

"Well, we kept trying to you know, do the whole slaying thing, didn't do well I'm afraid." she said sheepishly.

"Willow, what's going on?" Now she felt even more unsettled. This was something she wasn't expecting and that scared her. Surprises were never good in Sunnydale.

"Well, we didn't know if you were coming back, and we needed a Slayer or at least something like it you know, so we tracked down Ethan."

Buffy stopped her. "Wait, Ethan Rayne as in Ethan Rayne with the costumes and me turning into a noblewoman Ethan Rayne? As making all the adults in town think they're teenagers with the band candy Ethan Rayne?"

Willow looked at her sheepishly "Yeah."

Buffy frowned for a moment. What the hell? She was definitely missing something. "Okay, so you hunted down Ethan Rayne to make you guys a Slayer. What does Xander have to do with it?"

Willow blushed. "Well, you know how Xander's been all transformed a bunch of times?"

She shook her head, her face full of amusement. "Hold up, Willow. So let me get this straight. Over the summer you guys tried to make a replacement Slayer using Xander, and tracked down Ethan Rayne to do it for you?"

Willow shrugged "Yeah, well that's about the size of it."

Buffy couldn't help it. It started in the pit of her stomach and before long she was laughing hysterically, almost to the point she was having trouble breathing. "Oh, I'd love to see Giles face if he ever found out!" After a few minutes, she calmed down and smiled. "So, this is what you guys were talking about? You guys never did it, right? I mean if Xander got himself turned into some kind of He-Slayer over the summer, I think I'd've noticed. So what's the problem?"

"Well, seems the thing is, um, he kind of well, did it Buffy."

All mirth on Buffy's face vanished in an instant, replaced by a stunned confusion. "He _what_?"

"He did it," Willow repeated. "The night with the band candy. He went looking for Ethan and well-"

"Well what?" Buffy asked, with frantic curiously, "He dressed up like Superman and now he can leap tall buildings with a single bound?"

Willow bit her lip. "No, using costumes would have been temporary, and we needed something that would last, so we kind of made it so it worked off all his previous possessions-"

Willow didn't need to say another word as Buffy began to think about the numerous times Xander had been splattered by supernatural events. The soldier was helpful, but the Hyena? That was bad, very bad. Was the primal going to take control again? What if they couldn't get it out this time? Was she going to have to slay _Xander_?! She gasped for air. It felt as her world was almost spinning. How could this have happened? She had to find Xander, had to talk to him. He'd tell her that it was all just a practical joke. Yeah, he was probably waiting in the library with Giles. Haha, jokes on you, Buffy. That was it, it was all a joke.

It had to be.

BREAK

It seemed to take her forever to find Xander, but eventually found him glaring at the candy machine as if it were his arch enemy. As she approached, he looked over with a scowl. "Stupid thing ate my dollar, again."

Giving him a look that most people only associated a death in the family, she said, "Xander."

Crap. Well, nice to know he wasn't completely paranoid. Mostly paranoid, yes. Completely, no. "Buffy, I can explain."

Buffy looked at him with pleading in her eye, like that this was some kind of dirty trick, or better yet, just a bad dream. "Please do."

"I was just," He sighed. This wasn't going to be fun. While he intended to be honest, he didn't want to upset her, and he really didn't want to anger her, and this mean he'd have to do some scraping. As much as he hated taking a subordinate role, pissing her off was to be avoided at all costs. The last thing he needed right now was to deal with was an angry Slayer who saw him as a treat. "Angry, and yeah, I probably did let Ethan Rayne take advantage of me." He paused. "That came out wrong in so many ways."

Buffy paused. "Yeah, I think it kind of did." They locked eyes. It started as a shared smile, but continued from there. They both started laughing. Laughing at the insanity, the absurdity of it all. Of the situation, of their lives, of everything.

The two stumbled to the nearest seat they could find and just let it out. Being the first to catch his breath, Xander looked at her with a smile "Good to see laughing again Buffy."

"Hey, don't change the subject!" she said, raising a scolding finger in his direction.

Xander sighed. Well, she was taking it much better than expected, but her Watcher on the other hand? Now that was the Catch 22. "Does Giles know?"

Buffy took a deep breath and shook her head. "No, and to be honest, I don't know if I want to tell him."

He looked at her and gave her a shallow nod. Thank god. "I know you two have got the whole Watcher/Slayer thing going on, but I'd appreciate it."

She chuckled. "If I let you explain it? Yeah." She leaned back. "I don't know, Xander, I'm not as bad as Willow is at keeping secrets, but-" she trailed off and laughed as she remembered how helpless and confused Willow had looked and Xander joined in. "Poor Willow, you could tell she was really trying to, but she just couldn't do it."

Xander smiled in amusement. "I know. Willow never could get away with anything. Used to drive me and Jessie crazy." He sighed and looked Buffy in the eyes. "So everything okay, Buff?"

She looked away from him for a moment in order to think. "I don't-," she trailed off and after taking a moment to catch her breath, "Xander, I don't know. This is a tough one." Taking a deep breath, she stood up and gathered her books, in order to get ready for class. "See ya round, Xander."

Xander sighed. That actually went almost well, all things considered. With a shrug, he stood and walked back to the candy machine. Damned thing was a rip off. It just had to be rigged, there was no other explanation. He glanced back to Buffy, who was still gathering her pack, he said, "Buffy, when there things take your money, you ever just have the urge to put your fist through the plastic and take it anyways?"

"Sometimes." She shrugged. "When I'm really cranky."

"Good," He replied with a nod. "Glad to know I'm not the only one."

Looking back at the machine Xander growled. This damned thing had probably stiffed him for at least 20 bucks this year alone. It wasn't fair. It was wrong. Hell, you could even call it a chocolaty conspiracy, an outright candy coated tyranny! Yeah, this thing was definitely in the need of some sugary justice!

With a grin, he pulled back his fist, ready to deliver retribution to the offending object, but before he could strike the damnable machine, Buffy looked at him and crossed her arms. "No! Bad Xander!" she said with the scolding the playful puppy scolding voice he knew so well.

He snorted glancing over in annoyance. Damn you, Slayer, forestalling the sweet wrath of the righteous! "You know, it's not smart to taunt a someone with a Hyena in their head like that."

Xander froze. Oh crap. He didn't just say that. Please God, tell me I didn't say that. He paused and then it hit him. Yeah. He just said that. Oh crap.

She smiled sweetly. "I took him once, I can do it again there mister. Go on." She raised her book with mock menace.

Xander laughed. Okay, she wasn't freaking out. That was good, still, no good alpha could leave such a blatant challenge as that unanswered. "We'll see Buffster, we'll see."

BREAK

Willow walked onto the lawn during one of her free periods, and scowled slightly. Across the lawn she saw Oz leaning back and doing what he always did in his free time, sitting back and strumming on his guitar. Usually this would be a welcome sight for her, but she has serious suspicions that needed to be dealt with.

Oz smiled as he caught Willow's scent on the wind. While he always felt the wolf inside him, raging at the confines of its prison, being around Willow always seemed to be quite true to the old cliche and sooth the savage beast. He looked up as she approached, a smile on his face.

"Hey," he said, but he trailed off as he saw the unhappy look on her face at his girlfriend. It was a mixed expression, it was a combination of what Xander so accurately called the 'Willow Resolve Face', and the kind of morosity that just made you wonder who just died. Which in of itself, was a depressingly common question in Sunnydale.

"What's up?"

She struggled to speak for a minute, which alone made Oz uncomfortable. Willow was a very articulate person most of the time. Especially under pressure when she tended to articulate a bit too much. It was very rare for her to be speechless and those few times almost always spelled trouble.

Finally finding her voice, she looked at him and asked, "You knew, didn't you?"

Okay, cat's of the bag. Now, how to salvage this situation. Thinking back, he should have really had something planned. It wasn't a good idea to hide something from your girlfriend, even if they knew well that it was a secret and that they couldn't keep a secret to save their lives. Simple principle of the thing, really. Regardless though, he still was on the spot and just had to wing it.

"Yeah."

"How could you?!" she cried out, her face the very mask of betrayal.

Oz winced. Okay, she probably though he had something to do with his mess.

"I only found out after the fact," he said.

She pouted and sat down next to him. "Why didn't you tell me, Oz?"

He cocked his head. "Made a promise, said I'd keep his secret, help his get head clear." he shook his head and then went back to strumming on his guitar

Willow frowned at him. "Oz! This is serious!"

"I know it is," He said, "But what was I supposed to do? Xander said he needed some time to clear his head, said I'd understand where he was coming from, and that he couldn't do that if everyone was making a fuss. I agreed with him."

With a sigh, he picked up his guitar and began to play. It was all up to her now. He hoped she didn't dump him over it, but he'd always maintain that he did the right thing, even if it did suck.

Willow sighed and after a moment of indecision, sat down and listened to him play. She didn't look happy, in fact she looks pretty pitiful, but she didn't look angry, which was always a good thing.

Oz looked up curiously. He was hoping this meant that she was okay with everything, but with women, well, you could never be sure. "We cool?"

Willow paused for a moment, obviously thinking, which made Oz rather uncomfortable. After an awkward span, she nodded slightly and sighed. "Yeah, I guess so."

Oz nodded slowly and went back to his guitar. That was still a bit ambiguous, but better than a no. Still, there was something he needed to bring up, though now might not be the best time. Of course, now might also be the best time. Does he or doesn't he?

He paused. Does.

"Willow," he said calmly. "Ethan said he wants you to start coming by again."

Willow frowned and glared at him. She looked very angry, though most people would probably mistake it for constipation. "I thought you said you had nothing to do with this!"

"I said I didn't know until after the fact," he replied, "I've been helping him out."

"Oh." She visibly deflated, and looked a bit sheepish.

"He said doing magic without real training is dangerous," Oz said.

Willow sighed and nodded. "Alright, I'll stop by I guess."

Oz smiled. "Good. I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

"What could go wrong?" Willow asked.

Famous last words, babe. "I don't know. You could turn yourself into a rat or something?"

She sighed. "Alright. I'll start going to Ethan's again."

"Cool."

BREAK

Xander took a deep breath as he looked around the Bronze. It just wasn't the same, not being here with anyone. He'd known that this day was coming, knew that it would end, but it didn't change the fact that he was stuck here living it today.

He saw Faith across the room, dirty dancing like always, and thought about talking to her. He decided though, at the moment, he just didn't feel it. Faith apparently had other plans and decided to make the decision for him.

He took a deep breath, which proved to be a bad idea as the air was filled with her scent, strong due to her sweat from the dancing. It was all he could do not to drool over her. He could only guess that her giving him a whiff of down south was still distracting him.

"Hey, if it isn't the He-Slayer." She said with a mirthful smile and she slithered next to him with all the grace and agility of a serpent.

He looked at her in stunned silence, all thoughts of Faith, whipped cream, and a pair of fuzzy hand cuffs cleared from his mind. It was a long moment before he was able to respond. "Run that by me one more time?"

Faith laughed. "Yeah, Buffy told me all about it. Heavy stuff man." She sat down next to him.

He nodded. "Yeah, that's probably the understatement of the century."

She looked at him with a friendly smile. Poor guy. She didn't know him too well, but he'd always seemed like the decent type. Like one of those guys who wanted to be a superhero, but could never find the right vat of toxic waste. Her smile widened. Well, it seems like he found it. "Hey man, for what it's worth, I understand why you did it"

"Oh, really?," he said dryly. Somehow he doubted that she or any other Slayer could.

She laughed deeply. "Wasn't always the Slayer, time was I was just another girl from Southy," she said before pausing and ordering him a glass. "You'll be fine, you got the whole 'honest guy superhero' thing going for ya"

He looked over. She was right of course, at least about the fact that every girl who became the Slayer was once like him. It probably helped that in his case he'd never known Buffy before she was Slayer. Still, it nagged at him. "You really believe that Faith?"

She gave him a look of mock regality. "Hey, I am a Slayer, it takes one to know one pal!" She laughed before raising her glass. "To the new guy."

Xander paused and raised his glass to hers. "Thanks Faith," he grinned, "So Superheros, huh? What would it take to get the two of you into tight spandex?"

"More than you got, buddy." She laughed and lowered her glass, taking a swig. She leaned back and took a deep breath before looking back to Xander with a more serious look on her face. "I just can't help but feel like the fifth wheel around here. Buffy, I mean, she's got what, three years on me at least?"

He raised his glass thoughtfully. "Still got time on me."

She shook her head. "Not really, SuperXan. I mean you've been here since day one, fighting monsters as your average Joe. That takes wicked large stones."

"Yeah, but I started as the sidekick. Hell, I was the comic relief." He grinned. "It took me two and a half years to work my way out of the boy shorts. You got your own book straight off. That has to count for something."

She laughed and nodded. Now it would take her all night to get the image of Xander dressed up like Robin out of her head. Wicked funny though.

"Got me there," she said with a smirk.

"So, Faith," Xander asked. "What are you doing tonight?"

Faith smile faded slightly. His girlfriend had just dumped him and he was asking her out? If he thought she was going to be his rebound girl, forget it.

"Why?"

"I stiffed you last night," he said with total sincerity. "I made a promise and didn't keep it. It makes me feel like a goober. I'd like to make it up to you."

Okay, maybe he was just being nice. She'd known guys who could lie through their teeth and make it sound like a Sunday confessional before, but she didn't think Xander was that type. He seemed to be the type who wore his heart on his sleeve, an honest-to-god nice guy. Seemed to be forever since she'd met one of those. Her smile grew as she recalled some of her few fond childhood memories. He kind of reminded her of Connor and Murphy.

"I'm fine," she replied flippantly. "Girlfriends go first and you made sure you still had my back by telling Buffy to wait up."

Xander grinned. "Yeah, but I usually find that 'I'm fine' is Womanese for 'I'm kinda ticked, but I'm not going to say anything because I don't want to look like a bitch'."

Faith snorted. Yeah, she had to admit that was pretty accurate, but not in this case. "I really am fine," she said, "I'm patrolling with Buffy tonight. You want to square things off, you got next patrol. I want to see you in action anyways."

Xander grinned. "Deal."

"Cool," she said as she stood up. "See ya round Xan."

As she left, he look at her. "Hey, Faith?"

She stopped, turning around. Great, he had that profound look on his face again, the one that he always had before a speech. "You know, you're overdrawn for Slayer pep talks."

He walked up to her. "Before you go, I just want you to know, you're doing fine. We've been through a lot together, so I know we're a tough crowd to break into, but you're getting there. Besides, it's not like you're the junior-." He shrugged. "Anything anymore, really."

She paused. He was sweet, but that was unnecessary. "You don't owe me a pick me up Xan, I was just telling you the truth."

He looked her in the eyes with that total look of sincerity of his. "So was I, you'll be fine."

She nodded to him. He really was a nice guy, even when he was being a pain in the ass. She raised her glass gently in salute before taking a final sip. Putting it down, she headed off to the dance floor.

"Oh, and Faith."

She sighed. What now? "Yeah?"

"Good luck," he said with a smile on his face.

She smiled back at him and laughed. "I make my own luck."

BREAK

Buffy was lost in thought as she approached the Bronze. She was supposed to meet Faith out front, but honestly it was almost taking an effort to put one foot in front of the other. She just felt numb inside. She still couldn't believe what Xander had done to himself. It just boggled her mind. She couldn't understand why he'd so such a thing.

Seeing Faith standing at the door, she gave her a pitiful attempt at smile and wave, and waited for her fellow Slayer to catch up to her.

"Hey, you still bummed?" Faith asked as she approached her.

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, I guess that's the word for it isn't it? Here I am, the Slayer and my own friends don't trust me enough to protect them so they go get all ready to do the job for me," she said mournfully. "Sometimes I wonder if coming back here was a mistake."

"Friends don't seem to think so, B" Faith reminded her.

"Yeah, the same friends that thought I was such a poor Slayer they needed to make up the difference," Buffy said bitterly. "You know, what keeps me going is the idea that maybe at least Willow and Xander and the others out there might get to have a normal life, gives me an excuse to drag myself out here every night, when I'd rather be doing anything else, even studying."

Faith stopped and looked over to her. "I don't think you're giving them enough credit there B, but hey, that's just me."

Buffy blinked in confusion. "How'd you figure?"

Faith grinned. "See the way I figure it is, they all see you as the big bad girl on the block, kicking ass and taking names and well, they don't feel good enough. Like they're taking advantage of you or something, like the boyfriend who promises to call you the next day."

Buffy's brow furrowed as she began to feel even more confused. "I guess," she said, her voice full of uncertainty.

Faith crossed her arms and looked Buffy in the eyes. Her face just screamed 'oh no, it's not going to be that easy'. "I'm serious, they just wanna help, feel like they're doing something important for a change."

Buffy sighed. "Great, so this is all my fault?" she asked pointedly.

"Nah, it ain't about you, it's about them, what they need." She looked at Buffy. "Tell ya the truth, I think that a guy like Xander would've been going after vamps with or without you after his buddy Jessie died. Guys like that, they just gotta do something, anything. It's their nature, I guess."

"Oh, so I just made it worse." She snorted. "I feel so much better now."

Faith shook her head in response. "Nah, truth is, you're probably the only reason they're alive. Willow'd probably be worm food by now or worse, and Xander." She sighed. "Xander'd have gone after the first vamp he could find. He'd have been undead in no time."

Buffy looked at her with a mixture of self-loathing and disgust as her stomach began to churn of its own volition. These concepts were actually making her feel physically ill. "So what you're saying is fate had it in for them no matter what?"

Faith shrugged. "Hey, we're on a Hellmouth. Life sucks, then you're eaten by a monster."

Buffy sighed and began to rub her temple. Oh God, wasn't anything fair in this world? "Great, just great," she muttered aloud, trying to come to terms with the hateful, seemingly inevitable nature of things.

Faith laughed and patted Buffy on the back. "Relax Buffy and everything will be five by five." She shrugged. "Look on the bright side. At least you're not the lone gun anymore. You got me, got Xander, what else you need?"

Buffy smiled slightly. "You really want an honest answer to that?" she asked with a hint of dry humor.

Faith looked at her and cracked a grin. "Now you're getting it, come on, there's gotta be some walkin' corpses in this one horse town that we can turn to dust!"

Buffy shook her head in amusement. "Well, this is Sunnydale."

BREAK

Xander sighed deeply as he threw down the controller and turned off his old Super Nintendo. He'd tried playing video games to take his mind off the awkwardness between him and Buffy, but it didn't work. Not that he'd really expected it to, really. Stinkoman just didn't have the mind-numbing appeal it did when he was eleven.

The real problem was that Buffy hadn't said either way if she was going to keep his secret or not. Oh, she'd strongly hinted that she'd keep it but she hadn't actually said that she would, which in many ways was worse. He knew he should just shut up and be grateful it had gone as well as it had so far, but that didn't make the waiting any easier. The worst part was the false hope that he was fretting over nothing and that everything was going to work out. He knew it wasn't reasonable, but there it was, taunting him. Really, he knew damned well that he was only half way into this mess and that the worst was still to come. Giles would go absolutely ballistic, no doubt about it.

The problem was that he had to do something, anything, to clear his head. He wanted to find a way of channeling it into something else but nothing worked. Video games did nothing and he didn't have enough patience to use Soldier Guy's old fall back: cleaning his guns. The only other option he could think of was to go out and find something to kill, an attractive prospect to be sure, but he had a feeling that going off half cocked like that would just lead to trouble.

The Hyena wasn't being much help, not that he really expected it to be. He had to admit, while the primal was wild, uncivilized, and had questionable grooming habits, it was very good at cutting through the crap and getting to the heart of the issue. It wanted to track her down and work things out, even if that meant simply dominating her. That he'd expected. But what he hadn't expected was that it honestly seemed like the only solution.

Giles finding out would lead to a two fold mess he didn't want to deal with. He knew well that Giles would be angry with him, disappointed him and the idea hurt. Giles had been the first real father figure he'd ever had and the idea of letting him down twisted at him. What was worse than that though was the potential that Giles might assume the worst and go off half-cocked. It wasn't that he didn't trust the Watcher, because he did, it was just that Giles was sometimes would just go by the book if he didn't know all the details. That lead to one really scary worse case scenario. If Giles and Buffy fed into each other it could be really, really bad.

He doubted that would happen, and he knew that he should just give Buffy some time. The problem was that fear isn't rational and he resented being left here to fret over nothing. He knew he was being somewhat unreasonable. It was a lot to absorb after all, but still. He just couldn't get over the issue of how unfair it seemed. He'd hit her all at once, done it quick, clean and as painless as he could and she was doing this to him. He knew it was nonsense of course, but he couldn't let it go.

He sighed. Screw it. As stupid as it may be, the primal was right. He needed to blow off some steam and that left him with only two choices: He could kill something or he could track down Buffy and get an answer. He knew neither was a particularly good choice, in fact he knew they was damn stupid ones. But he wasn't going to be able to sleep or do much else until he did something.

BREAK

Buffy shook her head as she finished up another thoroughly boring patrol. A boring patrol. If a couple of years ago you'd told her that there was even such a thing, she'd probably have thought they were out of their minds, but now, now they were becoming almost anticlimactic. Not to say that she wanted more vampires on the street, but if she was going to drag herself out of her nice warm bed in the middle of the night to hunt vampires, at least she wanted the instant gratification of, you know, actually slaying one.

Faith glanced over to her and yawned. She could tell by the look of frustration and boredom on the other Slayer's face that Faith was just as disappointed at she was that tonight had been so fruitless. "Hey, see ya tomorrow Buffy."

Buffy nodded, only half paying attention. "Bye Faith, stay out of trouble."

Faith looked at her and grinned wickedly. With a bit of mock pain in her voice, she said, "I'm hurt. You think I can't keep out of trouble for one night without a babysitter?"

"It's not you I'm worried about." Buffy grinned. "It's the other guy."

Faith laughed. "Have a good one B."

Buffy nodded absentmindedly as Faith started to walk off and decided to head to the mansion. It was time to check up on Angel. That was it. She just wanted to make sure he was alright. She shook her head. Nope, there was nothing else to it, just checking up on Angel. Somehow though, that thought ran hollow, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself otherwise. Perhaps though, what bothered her most was the fact it didn't bother her as much as it probably should have. Oh well. Normality hadn't been on her plate for awhile, so why should she expect it to change now?

BREAK

After a half hour of prowling, Xander had yet to find anything to kill. What he had found thought, was a hint of Buffy and Faith's scent and lacking any better options, had decided to follow it. He smiled as he saw Faith approaching in the darkness. She cracked a grin and started walking more quickly. Apparently she'd seen him coming too.

"Hey Xander, how's it going?" she asked with a distinct look of amusement on her features.

"Not bad, all things considered," he replied. "So, any luck tonight?"

"Nah," she replied, "Town's dead tonight. Looks like the vamps are keeping their heads down."

Drat. So much for plan A. That wasn't saying he couldn't find one, just it would be more trouble that it'd be worth. All else fails he could maybe stop by the Alibi Room and introduce Willy and his patrons to the new him, thought it would be best to do that with company.

"So what are you up to?" he asked.

"I'm tired." She yawned as if for effect. "My pillow's a calling to me."

Curses. So much for plan B. Guess he only had one option left. "Do you know where Buffy headed off to?"

Faith looks at him levelly. "Xander, I don't think that's such a good idea. She's still a little out of it."

He sighed. "Come on Faith, trust me, I know what I'm doing."

"Famous last words there," she said in a deadpan.

Xander rolled his eyes. She had a point there, but he still needed to see Buffy. "Faith, come on."

She frowned. She'd been here before. This was where everyone decided she was a bitch because she couldn't turn water to wine or fix the unfixable. "Xander, don't put me in this position. If I tell, B'll think I'm a bitch. If I don't, you'll think I'm a bitch. Come on, gimme a break, man."

Xander sighed. She was right, he already knew that much, and as much as he hated putting her on the spot, there was only one answer to this situation. "Faith, what would you do in my position?" he asked pointedly, "I've caught her scent and it's still fresh. All you're doing is saving me some time."

"Crazy nose thing, huh?" Faith sighed. Well, at least she had something to blame it on. "Alright then, but I didn't tell you this. She headed that way." She pointed. "To that really creepy old house she likes to avoid most of the time. I don't know why she goes there, just she gets this look in her eyes and says it private."

Why was she going to the mansion? He shrugged. Maybe it was some kind of tribute, or maybe it was just the closest thing she had to a headstone, after all it's not like there was anything left of Angel. There wasn't even dust.

He sighed. Great, now he felt like twice the jerk, but if he was going to get any sleep at all, it still had to be done.

"Thanks Faith," Xander replied. "I owe you one."

She smirked and poked him in the chest. "You're damned right you do, Slay-Boy."  
He laughed. "Sweet dreams, Faith."

She grinned. "I sure hope so. Later!"

BREAK

Angel sat in thought as he fed a piece of wood into the fireplace. He was still trying to get his head around the fact that he was actually back, still trying to find out how and why. Of course, it didn't really help any that he'd just spent over a hundred years trapped in a hell dimension, but given his past, he supposed he didn't really have all that much right to complain.

He looked up as he heard steps on the floor and nodded. "Buffy," he said uncertainly.

Things were still awkward between them. On some level, he questioned if things could ever go back to the way they were and tried to press down the shame that it caused. He still hadn't gotten over the things that Angelus had done, especially to Buffy. In all honestly he doubted that he ever would.

Angel frowned as Buffy sighed and from the expression on her face, he bet he could all but read her mind. She wanted things to be normal, she was frustrated at the complicated relationship between the two of them, and thought it was unfair. Buffy tended to advertise her emotions when she was upset. He just regretted that he was the one who'd caused her discomfort.

After a moment, she took a deep breath, steeled her emotions, and regained her composure. With a slight wave, Angel offered a seat.

"So, how's everything?" he asked, trying to shift the conversation into more comfortable, more serious, territory.

Buffy sighed deeply. "Been better," she answered truthfully.

Angel looked at her, this didn't sound good. "What's going on?" he asked cautiously.

"Well, it seems Xander turned himself into some kind of He-Slayer," she said after a few moments of trying to get it out right.

He laughed. He'd always kind of figured Xander for the heroic kind, and this just proved that he was right. They didn't always get along, but he figured it had more to do with being a rival for Buffy then any personal dislike. Plus Xander struck him as the type to not exactly respect older men, something that he could empathize with from his own history. In an odd way, he'd always seen a lot of himself at that age, both good and bad in Xander, and that made him dangerous.

"Is he going to be alright?" he asked.

Buffy turned around, looking conflicted. "I don't know," she finally said with uncertainty.

"An honest answer," he replied nodding. "You know who did it?"

Buffy laughed bitterly "Yeah, that's the really good part," she said, shaking her head. "Ethan Rayne."

Angel's brow furrowed. "Ethan Rayne, as in Ethan Rayne the Chaos Mage?"

She nodded. "Yep, Ethan Rayne with the turning me into a noblewoman and delivering the most traumatizing event of my life."

He laughed and then smiled. "I wouldn't worry too much then. I know his type. They're unpredictable, but they do good work. Just because they deal _in_ chaos but that doesn't mean they want to deal _with_ chaos. They're meticulous with their work. They have to be." Both he and Angelus had certainly crossed enough of them over the years to know.

Buffy looked at him. "You're sure?"

"Yeah trust me. I remember one of them that was a real headache." He stopped immediately, knowing the last thing Buffy wanted to hear about was a story about Angelus versus a Chaos Mage, especially right now. The wounds were still raw.

Eager to change the subject he asked. "So, every thing's normal besides Xander turning himself into some kind of-" He trailed off. What was that she'd called him again?

Buffy made a face. "We're going with 'He-Slayer' for the moment."

He looked at her blankly, and for the second time in oh so many minutes, Buffy simply laughed at the insanity of it all. "You so have to get a TV, Angel."

Angel just looked perplexed. "Buffy, how's a guy supposed to remember two hundred years of pop trivia?" he asked, eager to change the subject to his obvious pop–culture ignorance, rather than have Buffy brood on Xander's transformation. But really, in his defense, he had lived over two hundred years. He was pretty sure there were plenty of pop culture things he could name that Buffy would never get. In fact, right off the cuff he could remember a few real gems from the early Victorian.

Buffy sighed. "Yeah, depressingly par for the course unfortunately," she said glumly.

Angel shrugged nervously. They were going back to a place he wanted to avoid. "I'm probably not the one to be talking to about normal."

Buffy looked at him in mock shock. "Shock and horror, the two hundred year old vampire with a soul isn't good at knowing normal, why Angel, do color me shocked!" she said, playfully. She paused and turned a bit pale.

"Something wrong?" Angel asked.

"I'm fine," Buffy replied with only half-exaggerated concern. "I think that might have just come out a little too sincere. I really don't want to turn back into an 18th century noblewoman again."

"Buffy, I don't think there's any danger of that happening," Angel replied. In fact, he knew it would be damned near impossible. In all honestly he didn't want that to happen either. He'd hated the noblewoman with a passion.

"Are you sure?" she asked, "I mean Xander's gone and turned himself into Super-Soldier Hyena Guy and now Larry's showing us all his Piratical sword tricks. Does this mean I'm going to turn into some kind of high-bread moron who thinks that minivans are scary??"

Angel blinked. He hadn't known about the Larry part. Still though, he had few concerns. "Relax, Buffy, Larry's still Larry, right?"

"Yeah, he just knows how to use a sword," she replied suspiciously, another incident of her life she'd rather not think about again popping into her head.

Angel nodded. "Then I don't think there's any danger. Think of it this way: What's the worst that could happen even if you did remember the noblewoman? You'd suddenly become an expert in courtly etiquette?"

"You got a point." She paused in thought. "Now that I think about it, maybe that's why I'm finally passing French."

Angel laughed. "See? You got something out of it. Really though, I think it's better this way, at least we see the world for what it is and all that."

Buffy nodded. "Yeah, guess so. We few, we happy few, we band of weirdos," she said with a laugh.

-- --

The light was on, Xander noted to himself when he arrived at the mansion. It was a bit surprising perhaps but while Buffy could do many things, as far as he knew, seeing in the dark wasn't one of them. He knew she was still going through a lot and he didn't want to disturb her privacy, so he decided to just sit and wait.

Leaning back, he took a deep breath and scowled slightly. What was that? He smelled something. It wasn't the smell of something near by, it was more the smell of something that passed through the area. He took another whiff and scowled. It smelled like leather, vampire, and hair gel.

He snorted. Leather and Hair gel on a vampire. He chuckled. That almost sounded like-. He sat up with a jolt. It couldn't be. Angel was dead. He stood up and began to circle the building. The scent was strong and everywhere, like someone who lived here, but the scent of habitation couldn't last six months. That left him with two possibilities. Either somehow angel was back, or Buffy was sitting in the middle of a trap.

He scowled. She has been in there for a long time. Maybe there had been a vamp and she'd just dusted it and went back to what she was doing. The idea of walking in on her at such a private moment disgusted him, but he had to check it out. Putting the soldier's full experience to work and approach as stealthily as possible.

With great speed and silence, he slipped around side the house and peered into the illuminated window. He was just going to take a peek, just to make sure she was okay, that was all. What he saw though was a lot more than he planned on. In fact he saw something he just found hard to believe. An over gelled vampire with a leather fetish be could believe, but not this.

It couldn't be, it just wasn't physically possible, yet here it was for all the world to see: Buffy and Angel. Angel that was supposedly dead, well more dead then he started off as anyway. His mind was spinning with questions: How, why, when and many more, none of which he could answer.

Taking a deep breath he slid out of view and looked at the star filled sky. Great. This was just wonderful. There really was only one thing he could do, that didn't mean he had to like it any.


	10. Chapter 10

Really, I don't know why we bother with the disclaimers, but here we go... All characters and situations belong to their respective owners. If they should happen to take offense to this piece of fiction, I shall edit as necessary, or if need be, cease and desist like a good little slave to our almighty corporate masters. Amen.

A shout out to Skyzeta for all his help with this chapter.

Hunter  
Chapter 10: Revelations  
By PsyckoSama

Faith groaned and rolled over in annoyance as the pounding at her door pulled from a well deserved bit of sleep and back to the land of the living. Slowly she sat up and rubbed her eyes glaring at the door in annoyance. Damn it. She'd been in the middle of a dream, albeit a strange one. What the hell had she been dreaming about anyways? All she could remember was something about a dancing mango.

Grumbling to herself at the indignity of it all, she stood up, dragged herself to the door, and leaned against the frame. "Who is it?" she asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance.

"Xander," came the reply. "I need to talk to you, it's really important."

"Jesus, Xan," she said. "It's 2am. Can't it wait?"

"Afraid not, Faith," he replied. "It's like I said, important."

"Fine." She sighed as she opened the door. She didn't think he was the type to go for a late night booty call, but she'd always found that people could surprise you. She doubted that was what he was here for, but still couldn't help shake the feeling of disappointment, though not nearly as disappointed as Xander would feel if this was in fact a booty call.

Slowly, she undid the lock on the door and opened it up. "What's up?"

Xander smiled the door opened. "Hi Faith, I'm sorry to bother you, but-"

That was as far as he was able to get as he took in Faith in all her sparsely dressed glory. She was clad in a white T-shirt that was not quite transparent against her skin while being of a length that was just a hair shy of preserving her modesty.

"Great Googly Moogly!"

Xander flushed a deep red, and turned about, ramrod straight. After taking a moment to catch his breath, he managed to string a sentence together, saying a phrase that pleasantly surprised her: "For the love of Twinkies, Faith, put some pants on!"

Faith flushed slightly. Damn, she hadn't been expecting to give the guy a free peep show. Still, she was amused and reassured by his reaction and the fact she'd been reading him wrong. At the same time though, she felt her shoulder devil begging her to have some fun with this. With an evil grin on her face she looked at the pile laundry of the floor and picked up the smallest pair of panties she could find at a glance: a gray sports thong. She quickly gave it the sniff test and slipped it on.

"Okay, I'm decent," she said, knowing well that she really wasn't.

Xander sighed and turned around, then sucked in a breath of air as he drunk in her body. She smiled inside. Yeah, he was fun to mess with.  
"Yeah, I just need you to-" he trailed off as she stretched, extending her arms up and giving him a full view, exaggerating her yawn.

"Xan, I'm tired man, I just wanna go back to bed."

She was rewarded with a twitch of his eyebrow, and apparently deciding that out of sight was out of mind, he started pondering her ceiling. That actually kind of impressed her. Most guys would just enjoy the show.

With a shrug, she sat on her bed and reluctantly let Xander come inside. She never liked having people in her space. It always made her feel uncomfortable, like she was going to be judged, and she knew people always did. She knew that this place was a shit hole. Sure, she'd lived in worse, but that didn't mean she needed to be reminded of it.

"It's important," he said after they were inside, trying hard but not entirely successfully to keep his eyes above her neck. "It's about Buffy."

Faith nodded and immediately decided to stop playing with him. "What about her, is she okay?" This sounded like it might actually be serious, so no more games. Buffy better be okay, because if he'd done something stupid and gotten her hurt, then things were about to get real interesting.

Xander paused for a moment thinking of how to phrase it. "It seems that, well-" He paused again before giving a sigh. "Angel's back," he finally stumbled out.

Reacting more by instinct than anything else, Faith reached under her pillow, yanked out her emergency stake, and launched herself to her feet. It was only then that she realized that she barely qualified as barely dressed and had nowhere to put it that she paused long enough for Xander to intervene.

"Faith!" He grabbed her arm. "Hold up."

She shot him a glare that could probably melt lead and he let go of her arm faster than he would have a piece of white hot steel.

"Faith," he said, sheepishly, "We don't know which version this is. I'll be the first to admit I have no love for Deadboy, but considering Buffy hasn't staked him yet, this is probably Angel. You see, Willow tried to curse him a second time."

Faith blinked in surprise. "You guys know how to do that kind of stuff?"

Xander nodded. "Yeah, but it's pretty complicated."

Faith sat down. Damn. If Willow could pull off something like that then she needed to give her more credit. That kind of stuff was serious power. Glancing back to Xander she asked, "So if we're not dusting him, what's this have to do with me?"

Xander sighed. "Truth is that Buffy and I, um-" he paused for a moment before saying, "We never really agreed on the whole 'Angel' thing, so I'm not exactly the best person to talk to her about it."

Faith smiled in amusement as it dawned on her. Oh yeah, that explains a _whole_ lot. "I get it. So you were all hot for her and she's not going to trust you on anything you say about her undead boy toy."

"Yeah, pretty much."

She nodded in understanding. She'd been in that kind of bind before. Some guy would cheat on his girlfriend and she'd catch the blame from the pissed off girlfriend. She was sexy, she was there, ergo it had to be her. It wasn't the devil that made him do it, and the asshole just couldn't be accountable for his own damned actions, so of course it as all Faith's fault.

Still, she while she understood his logic, she resented being the fall guy for all of this crap. "So let me get this straight, you want me to drag my ass out of my nice warm bed so I can try and hunt down Buffy, who may or may not be at home in _her_ nice warm bed, so I can let her know that you know about Angel?"

Xander nodded and rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, that's pretty much it in a nutshell." He sighed and leaned back slowly, slowly gazing over her room. His nostrils flared and his face twisted into a blank looking grimace.

Faith blanched as one of her least pleasant childhood memories surfaced, about the time she was dumb enough to invite her friends over to her mom's apartment, if you were willing to dignify run down illegal loft housing by calling it such. They'd all had a similar look on their faces. The next day they'd all laughed at her and called her Rat Girl because she 'lived in a wall'. When her mother found out, she'd beaten her black and blue because if they told their parents, and any of their parents had called the cops, they could have been evicted. She knew it was silly, but she couldn't help but feel the old humiliation overcome her. Looking at Xander, she knew just had to get him the hell out of here.

Unable to think of a better way to get him out she simply stood up, turned her back towards him, and pulled off her shirt. "I guess I just gotta do this," she said as she bent over and starting fumbling in the pile for a bra. "Just let me get dressed."

Xander gasped and backpedaled to the door as quickly as he could. "Thanks Faith," he said almost as quickly as Willow when she was on a roll, "She's out by the old mansion, just like you said. Um. Bye."

Faith looked over her shoulder as he heard him scramble out, and just before he closed the door, she called after him. "No worries, I'll catch up with you after, alright?"

He paused, and without fully closing the door but making sure not to look in her room, said, "Sounds good, just stop by the library after school tomorrow." Without another word said, he closed the door.

As soon as he was gone, she let herself fall back onto her bed with a thud and relaxed in relief. "Wicked frekin' wonderful," she said, sarcastically.

88 88

Xander was barely cognizant of his surroundings by the time he left Faith's room. By the name of all that was holy, what kind of sadist was that girl? What that some kind of sick punishment for him waking her up? Jeeze! The smell of the place had been bad enough, all those private scents in one moldy old room, hell it had been so bad that he'd tried mouth breathing, not that it had helped any. But the fact that she'd basically been shameless with her body was just beyond the pale. He could honestly say he'd seen more of Faith in ten minutes than he'd seen of Cordelia in their entire relationship!

Seriously, it was all he could do to keep from throwing her on the bed and having his way with her. The Hyena was still in the back of his head doing back flips, and he had this sinking feeling its new Faith fixation was going to last a while. The sick thing was that made him feel like a turd for cheating on Cordy, but since he wasn't with Cordy, it wasn't cheating, but the break up was still so fresh that he felt like an ass for even looking at another girl, ergo, he felt like a turd for cheating on Cordy! What a horrible catch 22.

Today was just wasn't his day. He'd just broke up with his girlfriend, his secret was out, he was afraid Buffy would tell Giles which could lead to all kinds of badness, and when he went out to try and nip that in the bud, instead he found out that Angel was back and Faith gave him the worst case of blue balls he'd had since that dirty dance at the beginning of junior year!

He sighed. Yeah. Today just sucked. In fact, it was the gold standard of suckage by which all future sucky days would be compared. What was worst of all though was the simple fact he had no idea what to do next. He was emotionally exhausted. Normally he'd go confide in Willow about whatever was wrong, but she was seriously wiggy right now. Solder Guy would just mope, but he was in no mood to channel Angel. And the Hyena? Well, the Hyena only really wanted to do one thing right now, at least besides the Bad Thing with Faith, and that was sleep, but he knew that he wasn't going to be doing much of that particular activity tonight.

Before leaving he spared one last glance to the Downtown Apartments. What a disgusting rat's nest. The place was revolting, and frankly, would probably be better off being burned to the ground. Faith deserved better. She was a Slayer and more importantly, she was part of his pack. If Giles considered this roach motel proper lodging for her, well, words would be said.

88 88

There wasn't a word in any of the languages that Faith knew that could possibly describe how much she did not want to do what she was about to do. The possible outcomes seemed to range from plain bad to outright horrible. At best she was walking into a confrontation with Buffy and Angel. The worst case scenario was that Angelus had been only playing with Buffy, and had turned her, which meant fighting a vampire with the fighting skills of a Slayer and one of the most infamous master vampires on record. At best she was going to be the fall girl for this whole disaster, at worse she was going to die. Wonderful. Sick thing was that this really wasn't all that different than any other day in her life.

As she walked she saw Buffy crossing an intersection, heading away from the mansion. She seemed distracted, like she had something on her mind. Taking a deep breath, she silently thanked God and all of his angels for this one small mercy. At least now, if things went bad she had a chance of getting out of this mess alive.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, trying to hide her discomfort, "Buffy, over here!"

Buffy glanced over and smiled thinly. Warily she asked, "What's up?"

Xander frickin' owed her for this one. She'd accept payment in food, and not at some fast food joint. She wanted a real meal at a place with waiters and stuff. Faith took a deep breath. She still couldn't believe she was doing this crap. "Well, um, Xander-" Faith trailed off.

"Okay Faith," Buffy said, trying to urge her on but unable to resist her inner smart aleck. "We have a subject, how about a predicate. Xander what?"

Damn. What was getting this out so frickin' hard? "Well, Xander kinda got all wound up and he, well-" she trailed off again. Okay, how to say this without looking like a bitch?

"Okay, Lassie," Buffy said with a mirthful smile on her face, unable to hide the perverse pleasure she was taking from this, "What are you trying to say, girl. Did Xander fall down the well?"

"Screw you, B," Faith said a bit more harshly than she would have liked. "For some reason Xander got his panties in a bunch and wanted to talk to you. I ran into him. I said it was a bad idea, but he insisted," she said, trying desperately to get this out right and avoid a fight. "I didn't tell him where you went or anything, but he sniffed you down on his own, and-"

"And he saw Angel," Buffy said, completing Faith's sentence for her with a sign of resignation.

Faith nodded "Yeah, that's about the size of it, B"

Buffy sighed and rubbed her temples. Great, just great. This was turning out to be one hell of a day. First Xander goes and has the Primal put back in, then he finds out about Angel. She knew how much Xander didn't like Angel; he probably told Faith that Angelus was back. She had to explain the truth to Faith, to convince her that it really was him. She knew she had to be careful though. Faith was probably all ready for 'The Slay' and if she didn't say this right she'd have a fight on her hands.

"Faith," she said, tentatively, "I don't know what Xander told you, but Angel's cured. Willow did a spell and put his soul back at the last moment."

Faith nodded and bit her lip. "Yeah, that's what he told me."

"Xander told you?" Buffy felt a stab of shame. That didn't sound like the Xander she knew, the one who saw Angel as a rival, but maybe she'd underestimated him. Maybe he was more mature than she'd thought. She paused. Or maybe there was more going on here. She just wasn't sure.

Faith nodded. "Yeah, that's what I said." She sighed. "Buffy, I don't know what Xander's got cooking or anything, but he asked me to come talk to you."

"Yeah, well, thanks Faith." Buffy smiled thinly but sincerely, feeling more awkward than ever. "I really mean it, thanks."

Faith stood silent, unsure of what to say before finally finding her voice and smiling. "Welcome, B." After a moment, she yawned. Blushing slightly, she added, "I'm fried, I should probably-"

Buffy gestured uncertainly. "Go on, hit the sack. Something tells me tomorrow is gonna be-" she trailed off, uncertain how to describe how tomorrow was shaping up in her mind.

Faith nodded sincerely. "I hear ya, B."

"Well, um, I guess I should let you get some sleep," Buffy said, struggling to respond to Faith's unexpected empathy.

Faith nodded. "Take it easy, B."

Taking a deep breath, Buffy started walking again, headed for home. For her part, Faith could only stand in place and wonder what just happened. Buffy actually thanked her, and it looked like she meant it too. She'd been expecting a blow up, for things to go like they always went. Things just didn't turn out like this for her. It was just wicked strange.

"Xan," she muttered to herself, "You owe me dessert too."

88 88

Today wasn't a good day to be Buffy Summers, she'd already decided. She knew that bad things were going to happen today and she didn't want to face them, but she knew that she didn't have much other choice. She was honestly, and pleasantly, surprised that Xander hadn't confronted her himself, but she knew her good fortune wasn't going to last. In fact, it was going to be up in about 10 seconds because here was Xander and he was coming right at her.

"Hey Buffy," he said, looking a bit tense himself.

She raised her hand before he could say anything else, eager to avoid any deep conversation. "I know, Xander, we've got to talk about this."

Xander frowned slightly, his face showing a momentary burst of extreme annoyance, followed by one of exasperation, then a clear smile as if the other emotions had never crossed his face to begin with. Yeah, that was a bit strange. Her brow furrowed with concern. "Are you alright, Xander?"

Xander shrugged. "The Hyena was acting up so I told it no Scooby Treats if it didn't behave."

"That's kind of," Buffy paused, trying to think of the right phrase for her thoughts, "Kind of," she paused again, and sighed, "I don't know what it's kind of like really, other then it's a little weird and highly disturbing."

Xander shrugged. "It's not that bad, it just takes a little time getting used to having your own peanut gallery."

"Okay," Buffy drawled. That was kind of creepy. "Are you sure you're alright, Xander?"

"I'm fine, it wasn't anything major," he said, "It just doesn't like to be told to sit down, shut up, and behave itself. Besides, I still have Soldier Guy in here to keep me grounded."

She nodded slightly. While she'd been a little frantic at the time, through no fault of her own, she remembered that the soldier had been pretty cool, all cool headed and official-ly. Actually, that explained something. If the Hyena could make Xander get all huffed up and macho, then maybe the soldier could make him calm down and act serious. She smiled. Maybe it wasn't all bad, just really, really, creepy.

"You in there Buffy?" Xander asked, waving his hand in front of her face. "Hello? Is Buffy home?"

Buffy cracked a grin. "I was thinking about someone. Not all of us have a doorman."

"Hey, in my defense, the Hyena pees on the rug."

Buffy laughed and for a moment she saw the old Xander in his smile. Not macho, creepy Hyena Xander or serious and professional Soldier Xander, just her good old Xander-shaped friend. It was better than any explanation he could give. She knew he was still in there.

"I just want you to know that I'm not gonna play rag on Buffy here. I know you had your reasons, and while I might not agree with them, I'm not going to judge you. Just meet me in the library after school. I'm going to tell Giles we have we talk, I haven't told anyone besides Faith about our friendly neighborhood dead guy, but I am gonna tell Giles about me."

She looked at him in shock and amazement. He was going to come clean and he wasn't going to tell everyone about Angel? "You're serious aren't you?"

"As serious as heart attack or a Slayer with a pointy stick," he said with a thin smile.

She frowned. "Xander, you don't have to prove anything. I know I have to tell everyone."

He looked at her and gave her a comforting smile. "Relax, Buffy, this isn't some guy pity thing. I think the only way either of us is gonna get out of this without getting burned is if stick together."

She shook her head and cracked a grin. "So, essentially, we're volunteering to go to the principal's office together so he has to spread the blame and can't single any of us out?"

Xander sniffed the air and scowled slightly. "Remember where we are. Don't give the little turd any bait there, Buffy," he said, chiding her semi seriously.

Buffy nodded. "Alright, I guess I'll see you after school, Xander," she said, not entirely sure if she'd gotten away with putting her hand in the cookie jar or not on this one.

88 88

Xander took a deep breath and closed his eyes as he waited for everyone to arrive. It simply amazed him how calm he felt, considering the situation, but he guessed if there was one thing all three aspects of his personality could agree on, it was that getting histrionic now wouldn't accomplish much of anything. He already knew that this wouldn't be pleasant, there was no escaping that, but he did maintain the hope that he could find a way to finish this ordeal quickly and without it exploding in his face.

He snorted. Fat chance, that.

He frowned as he saw Giles watching him from the other side of the room. He seemed to be uncomfortable, suspicious, and totally ignorant of what was going on, which was probably the cause of his annoyance. He had a feeling that in a few minutes Giles might just agree that ignorance was bliss.

His calm was disrupted and replaced by a deep set sorrow as Cordelia entered the room. He sighed. He knew she wanted out of this mess and couldn't blame her, but she needed to be here. While he was pretty sure that Angel's return was authentic, there was still the off chance that this was just one of Angelus' sick games. If so, Cordelia was a possible target and she needed to watch her back.

"Xander," she said, the strong emotion of the past few days still evident in her voice. Well, at least evident to him.

He nodded to her. "Cordy," he said, unable to hide his own lingering sorrow at the train of events that had transpired between them.

Cordelia shook her head and gave him a half-hearted glare. "I hope there's a good reason for me to be here, mister. I'm just starting to come out of the popularity slump of dating Xander Harris, and this could set my progress back by _hours_," she said with the good old haughty arrogance that she was infamous for, but he knew her enough to tell that her heart really wasn't in it.

Xander sighed. "I'm sorry. I'd ask you to trust me-"

"But that isn't very likely to happen," she said cutting him off.

He looked her in the eyes pleadingly and she frowned miserably. "You know, Xander, if I wasn't the amazing and wonderful person I am, I'd tell you to go take a hike." She pouted and crossed her arms, shooting him a petulant glare. "But luckily for you, I am that person, so I'll be nice and hang around for your little Scooby Reunion."

Xander sighed and attempted to regain his center, but before he could, Buffy arrived and he felt a chill go down his spine. He wasn't going to force the issue, but if she didn't fess up as well, he was about to face the full brunt of basically everything. Not noticing his attention, Buffy took a deep breath and sat down at the other end of the table. Her brow was furrowed and she looked as tense as he did, which actually made him feel a bit better. If she looked that tense then she was probably working up the nerve to go along with his plan.

Moments later, Faith entered and gave Xander a saucy smile as she sat down, which he returned with a less flirtatious one of his own. Right behind her came Larry and Jon who took seats on opposing ends of the table. Larry nodded shallowly to Xander while Jon gave everyone a wave and a weak 'hello'.

As soon as she saw Faith, Buffy sighed in relief. She still was tense, but she seemed as if a great weight had been taken off of her shoulders. He wondered what it was. Maybe she'd been expecting the worst, not unlike he'd been doing the whole night before. He could see why. They could easily restrain or at least delay her while sending Faith out after Angel. Faith's presence made that prospect rather unlikely.

"Wow!" Faith exclaimed. "Who brought the donuts?"

"I did," Xander replied with a smile.

"Really?" Faith asked, "I mean didn't you have a whole fit about being the donut boy just a couple days ago?"

"I can multi-task. Besides, who else would I send? Buffy?" He snorted. "We learned _that_ lesson last year."

"Hey!"

Willow frowned. "Xander, she's not _that_ bad."

"Willow, need I remind you of the time we were pulling an all-nighter, sent her out for donuts, and by the time she got back there were only three donuts left out of a dozen, one of which she'd licked the chocolate off of?"

"Okay," Willow admitted, "She is that bad."

"Wastin' a donut?" Faith gasped. "Now that's just sacrilege."

"Hey!" Buffy protested, "It was Boston Cream. I hate Boston Cream!"

Faith snorted. "Well, no accounting for taste then, guess that just means more for me." With a smile she reached for the very same kind of donut. "Ah, my favorite."

Cordelia snorted. "Stereotype much, Faith?"

"Bite me, Queeny," she said with a bit more Venom in her voice than she'd intended.

"Honestly though, it was a lesson learned." Xander said, "Slayers burn through carbs faster than they do Vampires. Putting donuts in front of a Slayer is like chumming a shark tank."

Buffy grinned. "Fridge benefits."

"Eat all the crap you want, never gain an ounce." Faith added.

Both of the girls smiled and gave the other a high five. "Go Team Slayer!"

Cordelia scowled and glared at them with eyes that were all but glowing green with envy. "Words can not describe how utterly I despise you both."

"Buffy," Giles said, "I believe you mean 'fringe' benefits."

"Giles, food pun." Buffy grinned. "'Fridge benefits', get it?"

Giles simply shook his head in response.

"For what it's worth," Larry said, "I thought it was a good joke."

Cordelia snorted. "What, are we handing out pity points today? Last time I heard a pun that bad, _Harmony_ was saying it."

Buffy scowled, and pointed her finger at Cordelia, but before she could say anything, Giles cleared his throat. "I believe Xander brought us together today for a reason?"

Xander took a deep breath. For a moment he'd almost forgotten why he was here, and he was thankful for it. That little interlude had given him some much needed humor, but it was short lived. Already he could see the tension descending back upon the room. Willow was still glaring at him, Buffy looked like she expected the Hellmouth to swallow them all any moment, and Oz, well, Oz looked like Oz. Faith looked tense, at least in between donuts, Jon looked like he should breathing through a paper bag, and Giles seemed to be utterly confused. The only one who seemed calm besides Oz was Larry, and even he looked inquisitive.

"So," Giles began, "I believe you said there was some pressing matter that must be addressed."

Xander almost cursed as the Hyena chose that moment to start acting up again, throwing him off balance. Not now, goddamn it! God damned tension. Taking a deep he centered himself and looked at the group. "There are things we needed to talk about. Some of us know things that others don't and I think we need to just clear the air."

Giles' brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you getting at, Xander?"

He sighed. "I'll go first. You of course know that Buffy vanished over the summer and that we all pitched in to try and keep the streets safe."

"Yes," Giles replied with some impatience. "How is that pertinent?"

Willow frowned and took a deep breath. Cutting in before Xander but with a voice full of trepidation, she said, "Well, we didn't know if Buffy was ever going to come back."

Giles frowned slightly and he looked at her with some suspicion. "Yes, and?"

She took a deep breath and glared at Xander. He smiled slightly and mouthed 'thank you' to her. He meant it too. She'd just jumped in front of a bullet from him. He knew how uncomfortable this made her, he could smell her fear even, but she'd done it anyways, because she loved him and wanted to protect him. There simply were not words that described how deeply, how completely he felt for this girl. Her gaze softened slightly and she looked back to Giles.

"Well, we realized that we weren't doing so well without a Slayer. That if any Big Bads showed up without her we'd be toast, so we decided that if we couldn't have the real thing then we'd have to find a substitute," she said in a stronger voice than before.

Giles jaw went agape and he froze in place. With concern and a bit of shock in his voice, he asked, "Willow, what have you done?"

Xander sighed. Oh screw it. "To make a long story short, I went and got myself supered."

Giles could but slump back into his seat as he stomach was clenched in dread. He was utterly speechless. He could understand why they'd done so. While distasteful, it was understandable that in times of need extreme measures must be taken in the name of the greater good. While he'd never openly admit it, before Buffy had returned, he'd been just about to petition the council for Kendra's replacement, for Faith, to be sent to the Hellmouth to take her place. What stunned him though was that Xander had not only done this, but he'd obviously done it not only after Buffy's return but after Faith's arrival, otherwise he'd have noticed a change in Xander long before now.

He paused and begun to polish his glasses. What exactly had they done anyways? While this did explain the resurgence of the Hyena's senses and Xander's strengthened soldier memories, he had to wonder. Had Xander been telling him the truth? Could this just be the end result of the in depth battery of meditation Xander had claimed to have been undergoing over the past months, could it be that they were just admitting to having begun the process under questionable circumstances, or was it something far less benign? He had to know.

"Willow," he said calmly, forcing his conflicted emotions from his voice and put his glasses back on. "I need to know exactly what you have done."

She took a deep breath and looked him in the eyes."We bound the Primal and Soldier spirits to him so he'd have access to their memories and abilities while magically reactivating the Fishman DNA that was still in his system so he'd have the Fishman's powers too, but put a spell it so it couldn't mutate him into anything inhuman. To keep the bindings stable and keep him from turning into a mutant, we used the Fishman DNA as the magical anchor for the entire spell."

Giles gasped. That was quite a bit worse than meditation. He took a very deep breath to control his emotions and fell back on some of the techniques he'd used to clear his head and resist the Siren call of Dark Magic. That ritual actually sounded reasonable, if mind numbingly complicated. This of course left him one standing question. "Who did you get to do help you with the ritual, no offense to Willow here, but I don't believe she's up to the task on her own."

Xander nodded. Well tubes one and two were clear, time to put the third fish in the water. Here it goes! "Ethan Rayne."

Giles eyes lit up with murderous light and his voice took on a menacing tone. "Ethan?" he all but growled.

Xander nodded. "Yeah, Ethan. We found him-" Xander trailed off as Giles stood up and began to walk towards into his office, likely to retrieve god only knows what kind of deadly weapon, or for all he knew call in an air strike.

To his surprise, Buffy stood up and held the door closed. "Giles, don't. Let's hear him out, I'm sure Xander can explain."

Giles looked at her with a look they'd only seen only once before, just after Jenny died. "Get out of my way Buffy," he said forcefully.

"No." Buffy looked him straight in the eye, and with just as much force, said, "Let Xander finish."

The two remained locked eye to eye for what seemed to be an eternity. Eventually Giles backed down. Issuing a sigh he walked back to his seat, looking like if nothing else, an indignant child. Buffy nodded gently to Xander, and in an encouraging voice, said, "Go on."

Xander sighed. "Well, it was during the whole band candy thing. I went there to well," smiled ruefully and said, "Honestly, I went there with the same thing you were just intending to do."

Willow gasped in horror. "You were going to kill Ethan?"

Xander looked her in the eyes. "Babies, Willow, babies."

She frowned and lowered her head. "Yeah. I guess."

Xander sighed "Well, he freaked out when he heard it was babies and I didn't have the heart. It's one thing to kill a guy because of callous cruelty, it's another to do it because he's a fool."

"Hold up," Larry interrupted, "What do you mean babies, who's this Ethan guy, what do you mean by the Hyena, and what was up with the swim team anyways?"

Jon nodded. "Umm, yeah. I'm kind of confused too."

Oz smiled. "Xander was possessed by a Hyena primal. He ate the school mascot and some of his pack mates ate the principle."

Jon and Larry both went wide eyed.

"Ethan's the guy who's responsible for the whole Halloween thing, and making all the adults in town acting like teenagers, which was the cover for the Mayor trying to sacrifice a bunch of babies to a snake monster that lives in the sewer."

They both paled.

"And the swim team? The coach was putting some kind of old Soviet super soldier virus into the steam room which ended up turning most of the team into fish monsters."

Jon looked like he was about to vomit while Larry just raised his hand. "Next time I ask you something, just tell me I don't want to know. Okay?"

"Check."

Xander shook his head and sighed. "Well, we ended up talking and, well, next thing I knew I was going through with it."

Giles sighed deeply and shook his head. He smiled thinly and began to chuckle ruefully. "Ethan always could be quite persuasive couldn't he?" He asked rhetorically, knowing the answer. After a moment he took a deep breath, and earnestly asked, "You know, you do have a choice Xander, if you want to pursue this life, you know that right?"

Xander looked at him levelly. "Didn't I cover that question a couple days ago?"

Giles nodded. "Yes, good point."

Well, that had gone about one hundred thousand times better than he'd expected. Time for round two. "Anyone else have any deep dark secrets they'd like to confess?" he asked looking around the room.

Buffy gasped. She'd knew he was going to do it, just on some level she hadn't expected him to totally come clean. Now she understood what Xander just had done for her. He'd intentionally set Giles off so that when her turn came up he'd be too tired to get angry. He'd just jumped on a grenade for her. In that moment she realized what she was dealing with. He was still Xander, loyal, lovable, dependable Xander, he was just a different Xander. Maybe even a better Xander, as much as she loathed to say it. The Hyena still frightened her, but right now? Right now he was like some kind of hero.

She took a deep breath. This was her moment of opportunity. She knew she'd not only be a fool, but would be a real bitch if she didn't take it, but she just couldn't say the words. She just couldn't risk Angel's life.

Xander sighed in disappointment and Buffy wished she could go invisible in order to avoid his gaze. "Well," he said, his voice full of false cheer. "I guess no one else has anything to say. I guess we can all go back to our so not normal lives."

Willow coughed slightly "Actually," she said, "I have something I'd like to say."

Buffy felt like she was the one getting staked. Willow, no!

"Yes, Willow," Giles asked calmly but with some tension in his voice.

"I helped Ethan create the ritual," she paused, "He's been teaching me magic."

Buffy gawked. Willow learning magic from Ethan Rayne? Was she nuts?

Giles closed his eyes and look a series of deep breaths, a scowl etched onto his features. Opening them, he looked her in the eyes and in a level, but none too pleased voice, he said, "I understand why you'd become his student. Magic is not a thing to learn on your own, doing so is highly dangerous. I am glad that you have decided to find a teacher rather than attempt it on your own, but I just wish you'd find a more responsible teacher than Ethan Rayne. "

Willow nodded, looking sufficiently admonished. "He's actually a very good teacher," she replied, "He just likes to teach me by using small pranks."

Giles scowled. "Like what?"

Willow flushed. "Well, like," he paused. "I'm sorry Larry."

He blinked. "Sorry about what?"

"You were still being a bully so I cast a spell that," she flushed as brilliant a red as her hair and stammered out, "Made you have sex dreams about a football team."

Buffy's eyes went wide. She had to be kidding.

Larry blinked. "That was you?"

"Yeah," she said with a whisper.

"Willow," he said, "Think I could talk you into casting that spell again? Those dreams were awesome."

Willow gasped and covered her mouth in surprise.

"You think you could cast that spell again?"

Buffy winced. Okay, TMI time.

"I got something to confess too," Oz said, cutting in before things could get more awkward.

Giles sighed and gave him an appraising look. "You're not a _Satanic_ reverend, are you?"

Oz laughed. "Nothing like that. Only remember that break in at the Zoo?"

Giles nodded. "I take it you were responsible for that and the grave that was exhumed the day before?"

He nodded. "Spell components."

Giles nodded. "Is that all or do any more of you have deep dark, horrifying secrets with which to regale us?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm.

Faith shrugged and raised her hand, much to Xander's surprise. What could she possibly have to bring to the table he wondered.

"Yeah, I met this government chick, back when I first got here, said they were looking for some guy," she said sheepishly.

Giles looked at her questioningly. "Why do you believe this is applicable?"

Faith shrugged. "I dunno, it just seemed like she knew bout the nightlife. Said she was from New York."

Xander looked at her intrigued "Do you know what she was doing here?"

She paused, trying to remember the details "Said she was looking for some guy: Mack, Wack, Rack, something like that" after a moment she sighed "Said he was into some bad stuff, gave me a picture."

Giles looked at her intently "Do you still have it?" he asked eagerly

Faith paused. "I don't know, I think so."

Giles nodded. It couldn't be. Far as he knew they didn't have much of an operational presence this part of the US, it was probably why Buffy had been called here in the first place. "I'll have the Council look up all known magic users and anyone else who might be of interest." He looked to Xander "Whenever you see Ethan, you should ask him if he knows this," he looked at Faith who could only shrug "Person."

Xander nodded, as curious as Giles was. "Yeah, sure."

Giles looked around and even more wearily asked "Alright, anyone else?"

"One other thing," Faith replied, "She gave me her card, said if I ever needed some help to give her a call. When she did I saw some kind of badge in her wallet."

"What did it look like?" Giles asked.

Faith paused in thought for a moment. "It was blue and had a fist holding a sword or something."

Oh, bloody hell. Giles took a long breath. It was only a deputy. All was not lost. "I see," he said tentatively.

Xander glanced over to him. "You have any idea whats up?"

"Haven't the foggiest," Giles lied. "Now anyone else?"

"Hold up," Cordy cut in after a moment. "I met a guy awhile back to, seemed real interested in the night life and why I was wearing a cross."

Giles looked at her in annoyance. "Well, that's hardly unusual," he said dismissively.

Cordelia scowled at him. "Hold on there, Mister Watcher Pants, this guy bought me a cup of coffee over the summer.

Xander scowled deeply at the implications.

Cordelia frowned at Xander. "Hey, I was short and he did me a favor, not like we're together anymore so you don't have any reason to be jealous."

"Is there a point to this?" Giles asked impatiently.

"Yeah," Cordelia replied, "When he paid I saw something like that in his wallet, only it was red, not blue."

Giles gritted his teeth. Oh bullocks, an agent, a damned bloody through and through agent in his town. He forced himself to relax. Maybe he was just passing through and was gone.

Cordelia shrugged and continued. "I don't know, just saying, maybe it's possible this guy's another government person. I've seen him around town a couple times since then."

Giles clenched his fists under the table. Son of a bitch!

Xander paused as some of soldier guys memories floating to the surface briefly, but it was not enough to be of any real use. "Still, it sounds like its worth checking out, Giles."

Giles nodded. Damn it all. "Yes, indeed, of course," he said in his best authoritative voice, trying to hide his building frustration.

Oz paused. "So," he asked curiously, "Were these people walking around in black suits, riding black helicopters, and what not?"

Giles suppressed a snort. Serendipity.

Cordelia nodded. "Yeah, actually, at least the other times I saw him. I saw him walking around town a couple times with either this brown haired guy or this redheaded woman."

Buffy stopped in her seat and looked at Faith who nodded. "Yeah, we've seen em around, if I didn't know better I'd swear they were patrolling" This was just too weird. She turned to Faith "Now, are they the same woman you knew?"

Faith shook her head "No, haven't seen her around lately, said she was going back to New York"

Oh fuck. An entire _team_ of agents. He sighed. Bloody Americans.

They all looked at each other in awkward silence, no one was sure what to think. No one spoke and eventually Buffy just couldn't stand it anymore. She was the only one who hadn't spoken up. If she didn't, how could she ever face them again Not after what Xander had done, not after all her friends had come clean and she hadn't. She raised a hand. "I, I guess I've got something I should tell everyone."

Giles frowned in confusion, as did everyone else except for Faith and Xander. It made her feel even more like a heel that he'd so strongly held to his word. She took a breath and steadied herself "Angel is," she stumbled, unable to get the rest out.

Giles looked at her with the up most sympathy. "It's alright, Buffy. You don't have to talk about this, it's understandably traumatic."

She laughed. "No, you don't get it. Angel's back. Not Angelus, Angel," she stuttered for a moment before finally being able to say it again. "He's back"

Giles sucked in a deep breath of air and Buffy could all but see his blood pressure soar. "What?" he said softly, but with a great deal of anger in his voice. He hadn't forgotten his treatment at the hands of Angelus, or walking in to find Jenny's body on his bed, much as he'd kept quiet on the subject for Buffy's benefit. Under normal circumstances, he'd have done an excellent job of hiding his feelings on the subject, but these were hardly normal circumstances now were they?

She nodded helplessly. "Yeah, he's back." It was all she could think to say.

"Is this something I don't want to know?" Larry asked.

"Buffy's Ex." Oz replied. "He used to be one of the worse vampires on the planet but was cursed with a soul by gypsies, which made him repentant. He tried to do the hero thing but the curse was broken when he and Buffy had sex and the demon went on a killing spree. Willow tried to curse him again, but he ended up being sent to hell." He paused. "A hell to be more precise."

Larry frowned and nodded. Jon on the other hand, was intrigued. "Wait, there's more than one hell?"

Taking a deep breath, Giles decided that as much as he wanted to address the issue of Angel, it would be wrong to punish or scold Jonathan for asking a perfectly valid question. "There are a number of alternate dimensions that are commonly known as 'hell dimensions'. They're places of unimaginable suffering and torment ruled over by the most foul and detestable demons and hellgods."

"Think Detroit," Oz added.

After a few seconds of trying to figure out how to respond to that, Jon simply sighed and gave up. "Wow."

"You sure it's Angel," Cordelia asked impatiently, having far less willingness to indulge the new Scoobies. "You sure it's not Angelus just playing a sick game with you? I don't know about anyone else, but I'm in no rush to end up like Miss Calender."

Giles' jaw clenched at the mention of Jenny, and his eyes took on the same burning rage that they'd done at the mention of Ethan's part in Xander's metamorphosis. His world was spinning out of control with everything that had happened and it seemed like there was only one way to get control of it again and so he jetted to his feet, but this time it was Xander who stopped him by grabbing his arm. He attempted to pull away but it was for naught. His eyes opened in shock and some of the fury fled from them as he realized just how easily Xander was rendering him almost completely immobile.

"Hold on," Xander said.

Giles scowled deeply and turned to the other Slayer. "Faith-"

"No, listen." Faith interrupted, "Don't take this the wrong way, but you gotta remember Buffy's still just a girl. Seems like you Watchers like to forget that about us sometimes, see us as your invincible pet Slayers but we're not," she said emphatically. "We're just kids."

Buffy smiled at Faith. She'd so underestimated her. "I'm sorry, I know I should have said something the moment he got back I know I should have but I just-" she took a deep breath, trying to find the words, but she couldn't.

It was the last person in all the world she'd ever have expected who came to her aid: Cordelia. "You couldn't" she added simply.

Buffy nodded "Yeah."

"Alright, lapse in judgment, welcome to the club there Buffy." Xander said with a forced yet at the same time sincere smile.

After Xander let Giles go, he rubbed the tender appendage and looked at them both with fury still burning in his eyes. "That doesn't make this alright Xander, this is serious and it put everyone's lives at risk."

Xander nodded and lowered himself to eye level with the other man. "If you'd like to talk about life threatening situations, maybe we should start with Faith's living conditions."

Faith winced as she felt a twist in her stomach. No. She'd thought he was really her friend, but not, now he was pulling this shit. The bastard. That fucking bastard. "Xander," she whispered, her voice full of pain.

Everyone else, except for Buffy looked on in confusion. Then Xander just looked over to her and smiled. It made her want to punch him. "It's alright Faith, you didn't screw up. It just that you're place is a rat hole."

She growled in rage and kicked her chair out from under her. She didn't have to be reminded. She was poor, she got it! Why did everyone have to rub it in her face. It was like those assholes back in school who used to laugh at her clothes and steal her stuff "I thought you were my friend!" she screamed, her snarling face only inches from his. "But now this is it, huh? You're just going to judge me like all the rest!"

"No," Xander said calmly, not taking her bait. Man-Slayer or not she really wanted to wipe that condescending smirk off his face. "I'm not judging you." Bullshit. "I'm judging that toilet you live in, and as far as I'm concerned, it's not good enough."

She went agape. Of all the things she'd ever been told, all the things she'd expected to hear, that was the one she expected least. "What?" she asked in amazement.

"You deserve better Faith," he replied simply.

She didn't know what to say. There were only four people in her life had ever said that to her before this. Conner and Murphy who'd protected her when she was little, Diana, her Watcher, who'd been like a _real_ mom to her, and she guessed she could count the government chick. After all, she'd helped her get settled in Sunnydale after they'd dusted Kakistos. It was hard to discount someone who'd given you a shoulder to cry on then handed you a full grand and a half, no strings attached.

She almost didn't notice as Giles stuttered in confusion and looked at her, totally dumbfounded. "Is there something the matter with her current living arrangements?" he asked Xander.

Faith flushed under the attention and shrank back slightly. She knew how to deal with insults but this concern stuff just made her feel weird. "Its okay, I guess. I've lived in worse," she said honestly. Tentatively, she looked at Xander, and almost pleadingly said, "You don't have to make a stink on my behalf."

Xander scowled and ignored her. "Giles, have you seen the place?"

He frowned. "No, I haven't."

Xander looked the Watcher dead in the eyes. "It's a run down dump, its filthy, the building is sick, it's infested with vermin, and worse of all, it's a motel."

Faith blinked in confusion. "The building's sick?"

"Mold," Xander replied, "it's full of it, especially the AC. Place also has mice and roaches."

"How'd you know?" Faith asked, a bit unconvinced.

Xander smiled and tapped on his nose.

Faith winced. Okay, maybe it was worse than she'd thought. She hadn't realized it was quite that nasty. Still, she was just glad he hadn't mentioned the fleas.

"Where's she staying exactly?" Cordelia asked, with a grimace on her face.

"Downtown Apartments," Xander replied.

Cordy grimaced and looked at her. Faith felt frozen in spot, unsure how to respond to all of this. "My condolences," she said with complete sincerity.

"Um, thanks." Faith wasn't sure how to react. She'd expected that Cordelia would have been the first to tear her down, but she actually sounded like she was sorry to hear it.

Giles frowned and stood up. He looked at her for a moment then lowered his head in shame. "Yes, I believe I see the problem."

Xander nodded. "Remember, you've got two Slayers to watch. It's just not Buffy anymore."

"It's okay, really," Faith said, desperate for them to just let the point drop.

Giles adjusted his glasses. "No, Faith, it is not okay," he replied. "I have badly failed you and for that I apologize."

"Giles," Buffy asked, "Why was it being a hotel the worst part?"

Faith was wondering the same. They were no different than any other roof over your head, right?

"As we all know," Giles began, entering lecture mode, "Vampires are unable to enter a personal home without an invitation."

"Yeah," Buffy replied.

"Hotels are not personal homes," Giles stated bluntly. "Vampires don't need an invitation to enter them. I'm actually rather disappointed that you two do not know that."

Faith blanched. Okay. Now she felt like real tool for snapping at Xander. He really was just was trying to look out for her. Damn. Slayers gotta sleep too, and the last thing she needed was some bloodsucker picking the lock and sneaking in while she was trying to get some shut eye.

"Faith," Giles said, as he turned to her. "We must find you new living arrangements immediately."

Xander shrugged. "If she needs a safe place to sleep tonight, there's always the sofa-bed in my basement."

Giles shook his head. "I believe it would be more suitable if she were to take my extra room."

"No," Buffy cut in, "I've seen Faith's place and I should have done something before, but I was too wrapped up in my own problems for it to really sink it. Besides, your apartment is too small and it has no room between all the books. Faith can stay with me and mom."

Giles scowled slightly. "Are you sure she'll agree?"

"Hey," Faith cut in. Damn this was awkward. Not everyday people fought over who had the honor of giving her a place to sleep at night. It felt nice to be wanted, but damn, this was getting weird. "Don't I have some say in this?"

Xander nodded. "Of course. It's all up to you in the end. My couch is always open, but I'd say take Buffy's."

Faith laughed. "Sounds good to me, at least until I get my own place." She paused. "But what if your mom says no?"

Buffy laughed. "Once I tell her where you're staying now, she'll probably ground me for not telling her sooner."

Faith simply shook her head and smiled. This was simply too much to handle. "Sounds five by five, B."

"Well," Giles said, looking at everyone in the room. "If no one else has anything to say, I believe we've had enough excitement for today. I don't know about you, but I think I've reached my limit for surprises today. I believe we have much to discuss."

Faith nodded. She'd already known most of it and it was still huge. She could only imagine how everyone else felt. Glancing over, she saw Xander slump down into a chair.

She wasn't good at apologies but she owed him a big one. Hell, after this she felt like was the one who owed him dinner and dessert at a sit down joint. "Xan," she said, "Listen, I'm sorry I flipped out on you like that."

He simply smiled at her, honestly but tiredly. "It's cool."

"No," She replied, shaking her head. "It's not. I really owe you one for this."

"No you don't," Xander said, forcing the point. "You're my friend. I'm just glad I was able to help you. We're all your friends, and isn't that what friends are for?"

Her friends. Yeah, she guessed they were. The real kind of thick and thin friends that you could actually count on to watch your back. She smiled. Faith Lehane's got _real_ friends? Wicked frickin' awesome cool.

"Thank you." It was all she could say. It was all that she could think to say.

Xander smiled as he settled back into his chair. He had to thank whatever demon or deity that had seen him through this. Already he could hear the discussion starting up and he couldn't shake the feeling that that they were through the worst of it.

"Any time, Faith," he said with a smile, "Any time."


End file.
